Please do not duplicate the content of this file. Part of the fun of gathering quotes is seeing them for yourself. Karl Wed Dec 30 22:04:12 PST 1998 ----------------------------------------------------------------- *sQurl* well, I had it up, so only the tip was wet *sQurl* that almost succeeded in getting a blush out of me *sQurl* I'm not kissing *sQurl* er kidding *sQurl* hey you trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me -> *squrl* No, now shut up and have another beer *: his is long in back but not so much in front *sQurl* sheep aren't for blowing... *sQurl* god do my knees hurt *sQurl* guess I spent too much time blowing the goat eh? -> *squrl* yeah -> *squrl* you should practice more technique *sQurl* hey, I had knee pads on *sQurl* so I only got rub burns instead of the amount of skin that would have gotten torn off *sQurl* and several bruises including across my palm.. *sQurl* hey! *sQurl* no, I didn't blade then *sQurl* and you know damn well I'm talking about blading (bill typing as FRL) Larry needs to understand what batteries were created for wait, no, I like a good penis long hours deserve long orgasms WE WANT MEN WHO CAN GO MORE THAN TWICE I am quite happy with my beaver in fact.. i'm typing one handed right now.. Benny came on IRC for a second and then went idle. hogan, happens when you get older mae-west1#sh access-lists 1 mae-west1#oh shit ^ % Invalid input detected at '^' marker. gimme a cuke!@#$ er cube I better not go, last time I got drunk I ended up with a collar on my neck. The blonde's gaze freezes you in your tracks! Her breast hits! Her breast hits! Her breast hits! You die...--More-- i'm a 3 input woman we have minds on the upper half of our bodies is that what those things are? [talking about piker] oh, and i got off too i named one of my vibrators after you the small one :P I can ALWAYS tell when she is coming er I recede that WHO ON #TZ DOESN'T WORK AT BEST? Geeez My server is JACKING OFF so you guys like go over to each others' houses to IRC? i think i am ging to go lay don uhhh.. down even This guy is SLOBBERING on the phone! =squrl= *suck* =squrl= er duck damn it benny..no , i have to put gas in my cat then go to ami's =sQurl= I NEED RELIGION! [referring to civ, of course] =squrl= truthfully, I don't give a shit if you quote me or not =squrl= once it comes out of my mouth it's public property =squrl= I chewed the first penis in half that night I make a great woman i pase ontu no the livign room flro my little girl just got a brilliant idea... that she should pull out my chest hair and put it on my head Ami's breasts are public property. * Nada has wasted more of his life, both chronologically and in terms of effort, memory, and though, on IRC for no discernable gain that he cares to admit, recount, or enumerate in anything so trivial as single digits; exponetial notation preferred. [phag = benny] MsK: You should talk. ;-) * phag:#best licks dics er dice how big is it, Chriz? [referring to his monitor, of course] Damn, it. I hate it when chix don't want to talk about certain subjects because they aren't 'girl' stuff. Yeah, that sux. I like try to talk about disembowelment with chix, and they just like clam up. LIke it's not a 'girl' subject. i don't spread easily :P I prefer high-powered business-women... they're probably tougher in bed... piraeus - i think everyone can get laid eventually - look at jonathan Let me make this clear - NOBODY on this channel will do me! 391 irc.best.net Monday August 5 1996 -- 13: 58 -07:00 *yip* *yip* *yip* *yip* *yap* *yip* *BANG* NO TERRIER well you can only swallow so much (in referenceeee to a NIC card) Warning! Defective early revision adapter! heh ignore it the early ones have firmware bugs it causes them to "stick" in promiscuous mode <_Jolo_> dog3: sorta like ami? ;) one should never try to operate my gate whilst holding a woman in your hands. hey karl my penis isn't still at your place is it er.. Barron- Even if prae fucked her [ami]...don't you have to feel something to lose your virginity? ok, I'm REALLY sick of vibrating Taner, please. Barron can only do so much. He's got the whole toilet training down, expeting him to go back and read is really too much. of course i sk0red msg cryo mmm, chocolate shake, mmm * Sedriss eats some penis *Dys* you are Karl Denninger, correct? (I hope I am right and not making an ass outta muhself) Ami should draw little faces on her breasts so people can talk to them and not feel bad. I NEED SOMEONE TO DO I MEAN SOMETHING I need to get laid anywhere I'm vibrating my ass off My poor little pathetic penis! not as big as when he got a breast pump stuck to his forehead tho *** Cryo has changed the topic on channel #best to "Oh my god, it's a BOOB! Let's get married!" KaffyRL talking about some geek there I go, opening my mouth n getting laid again i came at the wrong time lump tought me what fellatio was .. on her desk..on friday ;) newz: yo mama so big, when little kids yell 'kool-aid!', she comes crashin thru the wall The word of the day is, NNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnO Kanan - can I blow you? * lump is the head queen. I really need to buy another vibrator :( my last one got worn out and now my hands are getting tired :( oh good, he didnt see :P or feel anything WHY am I sitting here with duct tape stuck to my chin? someone asked me who the leader of IRC was, so they can get to the bottom of theis "connection reset by peer" thing *MsKathy* hmm.. it almost fits I am NOT typing with my tits i just bought milk, batteries and condoms with a straight face I FOUND MY OTHER FUCKING KNEE PAD!!! * pirsleeep is in love wonder if I can trade my wife in on a Sun Ultra *** Xney3 has changed the topic on channel #Twilight_Zone to "I have three vibrating devices on me, and I think one just went off" * lump is gonna be a mommy. ok, it's play with random body part night I can SEE what's going into it.. it's what's coming OUT that suprises me.. craig's parties are just turning into orgy fests someone is banging on my floor taner yeah....actally I've got a bruised ass today but last ngiht was fun =) he put an ice cold coke on my boob! hmm is someone ping flooding me oh im downloading IE asamonte = 3432:06:52 [hours spent on irc in '93] i dreamed i was irc'ing in the showeer i fell asleep int he shower one time i almost said 'me slaps kate' (my sister) i drabj akk the 5er if sierra nevada' "I drank all the 6er of Seirra Nevada" I've got guys licking creamy white stuff off my face =) I did Ami on top of the irc machine. yes I'm fucking blonde i actually beat him! *** Topic for #romance is: (brian2) I JUST CAN'T SUCK ENOUGH =squrl= I'm blonde, I have tits.. =squrl= I could be a secretary with my typing skills =) jack daniels ois youi friend bpk ghshot coung: 6 I was suppose to go to school tonight! the sole purpose of my life is not to get laid ok, so I'm a dork.. this is new? i wanna go do squrl if I try to kline *@* I get *** More coffee, perhaps? i just got on mandy i'm living with forrest gump there were like chicks practically IN the speakers i want a man with a big router actually a woman with a big router would turn me on too * lump rams his tongue down your throat. * mr_bill just wants a geek grrrl who's into oral sex and sendmail gah, my nose is frozen!!! heh, making me jiggle isn't hard.. *sis* you are sick. very fuckin' sick karl. very very very fuckin sick mike's sitting there with his pants COMPLETELY unzipped BARELY LEGAL LUMP ENTERPRISES LIMITED. * madbomber feels the woman in him a female geek that likes sex AND makes kitty noises I will never sell my soul to a man * sQurl watches dianora beat Xney into submission with a hairbrush IM STILL LOOKING FOR THE QUEEN OF MY DOUBLE-WIDE TRAILER [emphatically] but I can still swallow! i wonder if getting dillon laid might help you in the mood to eat rodney tonight bill? I am NOT domestic you think a banana can satisfy me!?!?!?! sQurl can blow me then, bause I'm Doug, and I'm outta heeeeeere! NO COME BACK I'LL BLOW YOU! and i am cheap hehe my cat is a GEEK Tas: get drunk with me and beat my children er bear * FlasherZ makes amanda cum err come NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Mycrobe$loth found my resume acualy err aactuakky DAMNIT actually Rezz just gave me the greatest blow pop I have ever gotten IVE BEEN EATEN BY A RABBIT DEAR AND I CANT GET UP she saw one she *really* licked. its holding my goddamn serial port hostage pp/me thwaps XNey * sQurl tries to type my first thought ont hat was..there's more than one of me? *sQurl* I dunno, whatever sounds good to you *sQurl* I'm easy today * MsKathy worships Karl we only support domains starting with "waka-waka-waka" it's one of THSOE typiung sdays... netcom is retarded * persis takes out her vibrator and tells marcus to go fuck marsha ;) persis: you are supposed to be impaling yourself on that dildo. karl, craig is in bed getting some. You see here 2 melons. "HERRO, I AM HAVING PROBREMS WIF MY R00TER!" everyone thinks i'm some arab male just started crack hehe ... crack doesn't seem to work on solaris ehsy str uou doing in lodon psybner dear? how did you know I'm not wearing pants? this is going to make masturbating.. difficult. my x-gf said "give me 9 inches and hurt me" so i fucked her three times and slapped her "Indeed. Misconfigurations just got harder. So sue me." - Paul Vixie thank you for not pinging me... I am sore. it's not like we can come on IRC and say "I WORK FOR BEST.. YOU WILL GIVE ME OPS" *I* wanted to be on top I just blew a diet coke all over the living room which Odif? there are probably 50 or so running around by now.. I get postcards from crisco I give them to my rat for bedding U hyst gir email from my brother I just got email from my brother let me just get the leash "With a name like fag, is it any suprise it goes down all the time?" - Harley, referring to TLG's mail server *** Kaffy has changed the topic on channel #best to I'm surprised we don't have more customers that have killed people. So, are you in high school? Uhhh...yes. S'ok...so is my girlfriend You know what one lesbian frog said to the other lesbian frog ? "Gee, we DO taste liek checkin" damn it karl you made me choke you can give men up wihtout giving sex up.. i'm sure squrl could fuck and play diablo at the same time "People want to be able to hum a song after they listen to it. I've had people come up to me and say, 'You know, Pete, I hate you and your band, but I can't get your fucking songs out of my head.' I'm like, 'Thank you very much.'" - Peter Steel I wanna penis... *** Schrade has changed the topic on channel #best to You're suckin' me dry, mom. You and dad. [IRL] no Xney, kanan will NOT get laid no my penis is small I'll last what... 20 minutes? heheh wow that long huh? mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm fratboys PLEAASE let it come back up... YE!#!@#!@#!@#!@#!@# IT CAME BACK UP!@#!#!@#!@#!@#!@ Xney....well, occasionally begging helps... shit I lost a nut *I*'ve killed enough squrl ghosts you know... 100hz is the resonance freq of a chicken head a power company found that out the hard way dalv: the vibrator is built into my phone "I'm a videogame addict. I could have written 15 more records in the amount of time I've spent playing Doom." -- Nine Inch Nails frontman TRENT REZNOR, on why he's written one new song in three years, in Spin magazine. want a lick? i like my men slow hard and deep hey, I'm very gifted at turning women off :) You should try some of this cum; it's cool er, gum * sQurl plays with her taco * sQurl crawls around under the desk I NEED TO DOMINATE YOU Xney: figure out some way to keep it up all day I can't handle large balls heh I had my pager sitting next to the mouse and I tried using it instead of the mouse I HAVE SEEN A HOT SMART CHICK ewwwww... I can imagine piker..." shit, no more icing to put on the cake.... hey! I know what I'll use..." when piker finally comes, the whole of calif. is gonna get pregnant do i look stupid enuf to buy a newton? and dont answer that what do I want? meat * Taner wets his panties OH THAT FUCKING HURT I was trying to kill a mosquito and missed and hit myself in the nuts large chested woman on sunday afternoon is typically a good thing we took a screen shot of this guys nt desktop, made it the background and moved all his icons off the desktop now anything he clicks on wont do anything marketing has the blonde, business development has the brunette she wasnt really a slut tho just confused irc chiqs RULE karl wanna help me find a small one? karl, let me know when you've got what you want... I feel very scared all of a sudden. I just called a tech support company, and their hold music is "Everybody must get stoned" who thinks i can loose an inch in 3 weeks? jennicam is better than no sex i kept jumping out of bed with an errection.. quite embarrasing. he was strapped onto my back *Harvester* I got it from kathy... thanks some one give it to me anyways... i gotta blow at least someone beds me. you gotta respect a chick who can double-fist herself :) I was trying to use petey but some gaysex guy nick collided me * FlashMan and Jill want to show off our balls we got our balls drilled, then we chased some top nuts kaffy cannot pick you up if you do not let her know where you are <_Melody_> I'm wet now.. arghh <_Melody_> I hate being wet. actually, I ahd a strange dream about larz and t^ last night it was a discussion about toothbrushes.. Keith just came to my cube this morning.. he was like "hey.. this guy is coming here today and I wanted to know if you would mind spenidng some time with him" * seussy saw a hot boy with no shirt last night@#% i want him now@#5 sorry, i will quit licking ppl I GOTTA PEEEEEE * seussy orgams cause marcus pets her !billn*! heh. Now showing! Mr_Bill as BDSM Ruxpin! its kinda big.. will it be able to fit? you know, I still cant get over the fact that xney is getting laid gimme some madb * sQurl testes her mail some more * marcus looks damn good in some lacy VS stuff and I am NOT fisting my bf * jayk hands seussy a beef stick my hand doesn't hurt as bad as I thought it would X: sheep are like tight bennzo, didnt you move to ks to sk0re? mork. take me take me * persis is a bay product stick it anywhere near me and I will bite it off. I AM NOT AN EDIBLE SUBSTANCE * sQurl starts a whorehouse (at least, I've never been denied) :b erin was good exit I'm just a girl... set it to vibrate :) karl- take marcus karl shopping and watch it at his place =) I hit my power switch with my foot. wireless, the only boobs you'll get are the ones of a 400 pound man when you get anally penetrated come over andhlep unpacket the sugar wasn't worth the sucking I don't just come on demand! * seussy sucks on her bottle * persis oh babey that feels good...oooo jon...mmmmm I got WINE working. :) Crashed my machine a couple times, too. Very realistic. * amanda- should really lay off the coke * Caine listens to his stomach growl. Wanna chew on my pink thing? i'm scary when nude I need some chick trhat wills dodo me i wznnz fuckyou i'm suprized igot on irck * DrManda shakes as she puts down the crack pipe xney3: no, I just have a woody coming on for no particular reason. women type drugs = credit and chocolate EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK flash what exactly is it that you do at bay? as a female friend of mine used to say, why drool over meat you're never going to sink your teeth into * ParaGod slings his ircd penis around the channel. we gotta stop talking about it and get it done. 21" is too big for me heh I think I like the floor better now... "All those college kids, that go see a band like No Doubt and thrash about in a pit, need to go see Obituary." -Trevor, of Orbituary I need a good petting right now my car may not go real fast, but it sounds awesome. comstud you here? he's behind me what's CDA (lame question) karl, kathy's got a lot of battery operated 'girl technology' Just what I need to put me to sleep.. the melodious flatuation of bile demons. well, i 'get' it off I blew up a $590,000 spectrometer today > you did? xney: yeah, but its covered under insurance > amm: you're just good at blowing things up, catchign things on fire, etc. cdy: I quenched an NMR 700mhz magnet which caused an explosion in the computer room destroying all the sparcs in there :D * madbomber corkas I SPANK THEREFOR I YAM tober- I couldn't open my mouth wide enough to put one in =) * Dianora_ *SMOOCHES* jill *PASSSIONATELY* until her false teeth pop out. I am going to turn into pudding soon maybe thats why I'm going blind Checking to see how big your integers are... Your integers are really really big, you hunk. craig- mark says he can give you what you need tomorrow you can't control the squrl trust me piker- stil can't suck hard enough I'm sticking it in my mouth * sQurl makes squeakathump noises by herself pet me * sQurl decides it's a little breezy with the a/c on *marcus-* you seem to be using my normal nick... *** rodney is now known as Monistat7 * sQurl blows her keyboard hey, the seats in my car go down N 17 alt.toys.my-little-pony OOOOHhHHhHh * Schrade gets all excited my little pooOoneeeyyyyy ironic I have robey complaining about a bot i need jimmie is larz playing with nipples again? damn I think it's time to find a new boyfriend karl just informed me he's allergic to me man, do I have gas. I could probably fart enough to provide heat to a minnesnowta house * marcus is as crooked as an old stream you better not be 69ing jimmie karl... squrl - you wanna page me when you're close? * Taner pokes tamara * madbomber dickslaps comstud hm, did i just feel a small breeze? I WANNA SCREW *MrWiz* you want me to talk to DeeCee. get your pretty o-line taken? YOU HAVE TO COME Size counts. jimmie, buy a harley, chicks dig harleys pease locked me in the closet. comdud wont be afraid, ami's already stretched comdud to capacity with a strapon *** Xney3 has changed the topic on channel #Twilight_Zone to "I may be drunk, but I'm not a lesbian!" - Amanda at party I just made persis' tits my background Matrimony isn't just a word. It's a SENTENCE. I grep my cats all the time. They love it. * rodney gets a female-female adapter chix with more pubic hair then me are scary. nah, I was gonna say I'm so cold my nipplez hurt =) tamara warez the pants in the relationship i can see lovely.. i sent email to our web development people telling them to be more like cisco.. and i got an autoreply back from some guy saying 'as of Aug 1 i am no longer with the company.' i'm in shape, round is a shape :) someone give me a goat i ran out how would i catch the suck? * sQurl drips a bit more 6255 6254 2080 0 0:00.54 9:57AM ttyq1 nnpost alt.sex.exhibitionism -s Need a Quick Blast of Nut ?? -f nut_letter.txt -d World -p -y The Biggest Tits on Earth -k tits jugs sex fucking fuck hooters anal blonde black asian oriental cunt whore I love our users fuckfuckfuckfuck ok, I will personall hunt down and murder anyone who smurfs best tonight karl and jill are porn stars i cant keep it up! *frumpy!~noexcuse@NS.fyi.net* perhaps if you spent as much time keeping your servers linked as you did /killing for vanity, two of YOUR OWN servers could possibly stay linked *sigh* * LarZ just nailed a few of his clients damn larz, promiscuous arent we? I fully support opering women that give sex to Admins rodent I may be, but gerbil I am not why I couldn't I find a guy who LIKES being gnawed on half the employees here are virgins *Blaxthos* EYE WANT TO STROKE MY COQ WHILE SEEING YEW WERK that lined up just right so that I thought blax was msging ME that relationships are great! even if I DO have to go and set up her entire network tomorrow, but that's love. * sQurl takes off da shirt to see how bad things really are i think i gotta give microsoft credit for finally getting it right 7206 == ISDN Router ? Sammy's that chick that ruined Van Halen, right? ;) you must admit, "smurf attack" is a pretty amusing phrase. I want a hummer <_Melody_> this cold rain is doing weird things to my nipples. :P BE GLAD YOU HAVE HAD THE HONOR OF ME DOING YOU squrl is more psychotic than most of the chicks on this channel yes, best wants to be on top. bah, and wutt do I need a woman for? Hell, I have an entire city that sucks my cock hohoho alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.hornyrob! 1-80204 rob bowman? ### KILL for DeeCee. Cypress (danks) it was 5 cm not 10 and nothing pisses me off more then kids fucking aroudn i like that dick * sQurl pets rodney and rubs him the right way * Snowpaws deletes more porn I just figured out what jeff looks like Chilli Willi its not often two good-looking women are fondling themselves inches from my face ,ahbea? I did kaffy heh i could never become that much of an asshole just let me pay for my computer habit and occasional tahoe trip and i'm happy * mskathy enjoys it! * jimmie sucks on marcus whats this damn efnet thing you keep talkin about? jimmie is bering meant o my ass!@# Mark my words, there will be no widespread deployment of IPv6. great, the kernel thinks my printer is on fire. What's the size of it? We are sorry, due to a fiber cut, your Phone, Power, Internet, Water, Air will be off until we can call Cisco to fix a bug. your the first girl i know thats under 300 lbs that got a speeding ticket *ring* "Network Operation..." "Yes, I would like to order the can opener you have advertised." ?!?! I AM MARKETING I need...a tree I'm STILL wet though I know enough to tyope wiyth my eyes closed when drunk See, the best thing about Keli was that (1) she liked it when I made pancakes and bacon for her and (2) she liked to talk about gas chromatography how big is it, xney? what if my pimpl on my ass is bigger than your brain? *liam* they want me to fuck them *liam* whoops wrong rodney *liam* sorry harder, Xney I would rather have faster and wider ;) dem; im not at good at pin ball as i am at masterbation I donut think I can swallow that much.... kim likes to hire the expensive lesbian hookers 'why not run half duplex fddi connections for inbound and full duplex for outbound?' "oh no.. I've contracted abuse!" mae-west-mfs>sh ip bgp regex 206.86.0.0 * Schrade buys dave a pair of bondage pants damn it, sam got my shorts wet anybody in here wanna give some good halloween head? I want it yes ... turn shellx into a coffeetable .. .we need a coffeetable 'No, I think "rchen@shell1" is some kind of clown. ' - best.dialups post harley- I wanted you er warner you warned *** Signoff: rodney (Killed (Ami (spamming bitch))) i'm so meen one of our rsp's reloaded with a memory parity error so i sent this mail out to the group Subject: Re: dan would you please stop using FRY's ram in the RSPs? ;) only jimie could go from anthrax to fleetwood mac * jimmie bats her eyes at xney When someone goes out with Jonathan... it's not called a date... it's called "time served" I didn't know it was a yoyo until I saw you with it later. I thought it was a growth. can't tell if this is metallica or country stupid pcn [After telling Flashman that doing this hung my router hard...] nicholson-gw3(config-if)#int s4/0/0 nicholson-gw3(config-if)#encap frame-relay [hang] * amanda- needs something warm * jimmie does nasty things with tay's sock wow, where do i go for a room full of girls without bras? i need opers in #edmonton ... a takeover [05:15PM] girlfriend#wr e [05:15PM] girlfriend#reload [05:16PM] there, now she's a blonde If you're ear is ringing then answer it, duh. (cyarnell) @netbsd:~ > grep -ic channel .KillLog 226 aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhcccchhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I will do things with M&Ms you've never seen.. heh I could probably score with a chick before dave jered can only handle 6 hos I NEED SEX!&%$#!&^@#*^@%$(&^#@% and it gets worse. sprint said that ascend techincal support said the problem w/ fast busy's on my PRI was due to my radius server. I'm gonna sprout another ass so is rodney the chen who used to be a girl and is now a boy? I got really confused earlier. a *good* suit is like $500k holy shit piker is satan it all makes sense now jwhyne: Yeah, but I have a HUUUUGE clitoris. I just came out of the closet... *** Current value of LASTLOG is 20000 besides, 10" is a little TOO big. I think you bruise even more easily than I do, squrl * rodney needs his ass spanked. tho gimme a boy, and i'd love him even more those are MY balls thank you I think I saw a boob what about ops, can we warez? :) shit wrong channel Listen up! NAKED GIRLS DANCING OUT OF XMAS PRESENTS IS NOT FUNNY. larz yea i'm just bruised and sore IL rox for xmas *** Signoff: cdy (Killed (irc.ionet.net (cdy(?) <- irc.best.net[irc@206.86.0.23]))) * Fjoder diciplines cdy <_cls_> i gave deecee KY jelly for christmas.. he made my hole bigger.... <_cls_> Fjoder : would you like to know where the nick "8" Ball(s) comes from? :P wow.... Canadian coffee tastes like shit! But why have a clue, when you can have an attitude? every 46 minutes aol asks if i wanna stay on line psyber hoe big is it? * marcus bends over to larz * jimmie marcus hi this limo was so big, craig said, "that must be some cat they are sucking up for." i want a choochoo hate since persis left me for jimmie, i guess i'll try men for a while I tied larz up in the other room :) i can score anytime i want.. i got 2 good arms you know I kept rose up all night well you can tell by the way that i move my hips, i'm a womans man I love clueless network people feels almost like I'm back on exodus usually when a guy has his face buried in my chest the only thing you hear is this muffled "help I'm suffocating".... * mskathy sticks a big jawbreaker in her mouth. i think its goat sex time PUKEBOX? sounds like a machine for jered wonterey aquarium you should just stay with mucus i mean, atleast i didnt name my hand :) * sQurl laughs and karl's in the tub *** Signoff: marcus (i'm finally gonna sk0re!@#$!@#$!@#$!@#$!@#$!@#$ ;)) <_Melody_> Hemwlp I"msfdklhjh be8hing sa8yhtth onmph besides, girth counts, not length 8inches off the front. wooo I almost wrecked my car looking at you [referring to seussy] * seussy bushes i drive a saturn! i'm no yuppie! xney: cygwin32 full kit is 13MB, hope you got a fast link Ray from Pac Bell: "Yeah, I can't get this line up." Voice in Background at Pac Bell: "Ray, are you sure we're supposed to be hearing your personal problems?" we'll have biter moments it's hard. :) EFNet: only the strong shall survive. I CAN PET IF I FUCKING GODDAMN WANT TO BECAUSE I HAVE A GUN AND I'M PSYCHOTIC GOD DAMN IT!#$ the schwartz, albeit small, be with manda Holy SHIT thats a huge cock New York Times just interviewed me When they strip-searched dave, it was very exciting * lump really needs people karl just tried playing patticake with my tits *** Xney3 has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to kathy in real life - "it was a SNEEZE, not an ORGASM" it's sad that i'm ircing from my gym I could kill someone with a toothpick, at the moment. I am brocolli.. I have IQ of 10 *** Signoff: errata (Killed (redbird (Oh! A well hung 20 year old!))) karl, i don't know. i don't even know how hung i am. *guilty demonic slutty blondie polaroid moment look* * mskathy wanna go to the beyotch. I mean, beach msk- I'm having fun telling people about your vibrator *** mskathy has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to IT'S A HUMIDIFIER THAT MAKES NOISE craig kicks so much ass, even his shit is useful. * Snowpaws loves Ken's rocket launcher, too marcus: you could sk0re with asian chicks if you drove a lower honda civic xney: almost like the jonathan 'the employee at mcdonolds made eye contact with me, they want me to tittyfuck them' gimmie cute asian chix!#@$!@#$!@#$!@# =frontier1= course, we can do it in a mens room real quick +if we have to =frontier1= ack :> =frontier1= stupid query love is like a mousetrap you see the cheese and go "wow, cheese!" then SNAP you're dead. man, i'm gonna have to go home and turn on the cam and show you what satan looks like w00d is g00d that came out wrong! i have a headache I need a blowjob limp - are cable modems cheap to rent? small ISP's are some of the tightest people I know * lump puts on her crown. they never should have given me this thing for christmas * sQurl turns off the tool before opening hte office door someone rebooted mbone I remember when I first met Harv. I thought he was a punk and he thought I was a prick :) I was, and you were :P * FlashMan sniffs contact cement for lunch My dick is gone! hrm......my tongue hurts *** sQurl has changed the topic on channel #best to I now have a BIG penis! woohoo! Humidifer at work! *** Unknown command: QUEERY *** Unknown command: QURYE *** Unknown command: QUREY *** Unknown command: QUREY nothing is quite as satisfying. squrl - I think I've had more /kills today than the entire time I was at netcom hey, mebbe I liked spending two hours in a small room with craig... dude! * mskathy does squrl I mean * mskathy outdoes squrl where on earth did I come from Chris can say "I got a lump on my peter" and it wouldnt be bad. my nads hurt my jeans are all twisted nevin's only counted 13 new cars in the parking lot in the last week I forgot my shorts today. Damn. * sQurl needs da crack pipe ComStud is a Closet Spice Girl! I thought it was just whacked really good, but I think I might have deep bruised it :/. who needs pussy, i have a hand :) You know, if i had a beautiful woman around i wouldnt be playing with my palm pilot :) marcus: you're not worht $80 * morkeleb- snifs errata's elbow - "where has this been?!?" I AM NOT DATING ANY PART OF ROBERT'S BODY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH UNLESS YOU HEAR OTHERWISE, ASSUME THAT I STILL CAN'T GET ANY. medicinal crack cocaine is a priveledge we fought for! larz has a homosexual router i bet chris is gonna get sodomized as long as i live i will never try to score with an irc chiq mark my words man my wrist hurts asian markets are bringing my FRO down *** rodney has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to Marcus Schwartz - The Seventeen Second Stallion hell, i've spent years on chix i never had a chance with :P marcus: your sister doesn't count. And just because she can outrun you, that doesn't mean you never had a chance - you coulda cornered her or gotten her in her sleep or something/ does anybody know how to get blood-stains out of a curtain? kaffy needs a good petting * E is still pulling out his little dick that sucked. i booted a machine up to install FreeBSD on it, walked away for a while and came back. and it had NT running!! 'surprise!' heh MS is invading. good thing, cuz i'm about to blow i'm a good girl i am Hmm. AOL is stupid. kanan makes funny noises when he plays quake * Melody-_- grabs a dildo and looks at rodney again. I'M READY DAMN IT jon how's your penis? did you ever find it? I was walking around with half my pants around my ankles fuck this pizza is making me toot my keyborad is all fucke dupo i irc... i read... i masturbate My system is being eaten by eudora after best, taco bell is high paying DARREN BROKE MY SLIPPERY COCK all three arent sposed to come up at once, craig hrm. just found a tie i've been looking for stuck in the back of my chair is it worse to suck or blow ? i like a little of both. I should find that skirt for you jered my pleco is so big! it's cool ; Plecos == sucky things * mskathy watches da nudes. where? I mean news they're asking "are there any girls that work at @home that are younger than 20 and know unix?" i have a ballgag. but your penis can't shoot 622 Mbps hey that squrl's penis is bigger than mine you like to laugh at me cuz I'm hung just like a squirrel it's already been used quite a bit today jon2: can you pat your head and rub your tummy? sabre: not only can i do that, i can do it while masturbating a skill that only amm and I can do bleh this sex er sux mskathy: can you feel anything? wireless wants to become and intern and play swallow the leader Mutt - Yeah, and I can't stop touching myself now! ;) Who the fuck is dillon@shell16.ba.best.com?? xney: Oh. When I get tired I just masterbate. no slurping squrl's flailing her penis at me wow, my neck is sore. i'm cheap i'm marrying phisher for his 12" penis *** mskathy is now known as azzpir8 Jered is walking around looking for his clothes palousa; but yer cute ;) well, brian is at least ;) *** Xney has changed the topic on channel #best to "I have a kevlar ass" - Aaron in real life i thought i reserved tay least I got the balls to do it :) wow it stayed up longer than 15 min you've never tasted ass? i bought vio a whip and phisher a dildo squrt CANT STOP BLEEDING... MUST GET PAD... PANTIES DROWNING ... msk: Have you ever done ty You masturbate with your left hand? "if life were a fairytale all the women would be princesses and all the men would be peas.. because at their best they are a nice side dish and at their worst they are a minor irritation in bed" Q: What is the difference between pink and purple? A: Your grip. anyone want root access before i leave Best? heh noel thought my penis was wood it's official, I'm fucked!##$ the tow truck guy fixed me it's very looooong. Man I hate shopping for computer perifs... It used to be you could at least get it home before it was obsolete.. * Paige pets Jon2 * Jon2 gets hard woah well, what do you expect if you're gonna pet me? well, uh.. you could be like the majority of people and just purr.. :p *** Jon2 is now known as Gerbil HEEELP!!! I am TRAPPED in JIMMIE'S ASS with another friend!!! We CAN'T get OUT!! We've been in here for FIVE DAYS, and if we TRY TO ESCAPE, we get SHOVED BACK IN!!!! HEELP!!! *** Gerbil is now known as Jon2 We break more before 6AM than most people do all day. POS, it's what's for dinner set novice_mode off No shit, it's up. i can no longer see my penis when standing straight up. have i ever not come? lump: can i be your friend? rodney: are you qualified? it wasn't hard I just misjudged the length customer quote: " thats really tight" or we could go check out chicks at the peppermill Geez, I'm going to have to set up a procmail filter to deal with employee farewell notices. *** Xney3 has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to "How big can this get?" - dem in real life * sQurl eats xney's popscicle Everyone wanted to fuck the new meat my cat is attacking my Best Internet ball DUNOT TURNOFF THE BONER you got a stiffy off the voicemail, andrew. at least it's a woman I masturbate to pictures of myself. squrl is talking about stiff leather /msg squrl thanks for inviting me wow... i totally thought tay was a chick * sQurl looks down and tries to find her penis on a string I said I was playhing with MY penis * sQurl needs a quickcam squrl is %40 boob jered couldn't figger out why his pants were still wet after putting them in the dryer ;east sp,epme dod least someone did * sQurl feels arian's boobs heh, my dipshit roommate put his pc on a claper he thought it was a surge protector i dont need to smack him he's busy trying to save his data, left his tv on when he went to work and it turned it on and off all day * Kanan salts his stick. jimmie: I sweat to god you're on irc 24 hours a day. *holey* yer not denniger? subtlety on usenet is saying "you nazi scum, you deserve to die" when you really mean "i am presently stalking you and will be executing you soon, followed by a mutilation of your remains" mskathy needs to be serviced???? doesnt everyone? Karl Denniger reminds me of a famous TV personality.... Anyone remember Mr. Ed? which end of mr ed? I had a nightmare about cheesy poofs the other night. I dreamed that I was surrounded by naked women who were chanting "cheesy poofs! cheesy poofs! cheesy poofs! " and they kept bringing me more and more cheesy poofs to eat and I couldn't eat them all and eventually I was asphyxiated by the sea of cheesy poofs surrounding me. That's when I woke up in a cold sweat. I stop using the backaspaeceeeeeeee when I get drunk My grandpa once told me that fucking an old lady is like climbing a moutain.. hang on tight and don't look down. i would install a spell checker but the disk woldnt fi in mmy ear I only like to spew on Mutt Dave spends lots of money.. After all, hookers aren't sheap anymore. :) well, it could be fast, but I'd prefer something else. fear my beavah * mskathy tries to find her pants i was gonna say, i dont mind being sucked ;) for some reason the canadians aren't resolving too well i'm going to the gym tonight to try to get me a date for tonight :) persis asked 'can we go out to dinner tonight' and i said 'depends if i fidn someone better looking than you at the gym' :) and to think I'm nice enough to give you rides but, I also have dreams about beavers and happy stuff. hang on, lemme see how large it is I just put the bottle to my lips and BARELY aborted before spewing my right hand i sreall sore for some reason xney, you are... you are.... jua jua jua jee jeee jeee jiii jiiij jii joojojooj i wonder why it is that all the chicks that visit marcus are on irc all night just thinking about irc makes me cum grass, gas or ass ok sleep me for * jimmie # karl is to cef like i am to rsm's :) i was gonna spell something with our inaddrs so when you tracerouted our network it said stuff ehud: its like AOL... POINT AND LICK FlashMan has a nice slinky hey, i got called by the phone directory people here at Ames, and it turns out that the person who had my phone extension before me was... jonathan jills penis is even smaller than mine I had Chevy's for lunch today so my cube reeks pretty bad make sure you fart it all out before you come home or I won't let you in the door okay, discord what size are you ? because my penis is in a monogamous relationship damnit do you need it then steve? * plan9 kisses his new 19". karl stop bahhhing before i get excited I always thought bdsm was some sort of unix !@# at work the only station i could pick up was the mexican station then i broke the radio more, and it got stuck on the arabian station it ruled, I bugged the shit out of my manager, I was sing someon song called like Fuh-tah-gee-wagoo, and she got pissed. Its the U of H radio station. pouring liquid oxygen on charcoal is the equivalent to throwing a live squirrel into a room containing 50 million Labrador retrievers. [13:08] *** Notice -- Hacked ops on opless channel: #gaysmalldicks i didn't realize how large my nose was, tho :) #6 - persis will have sex with you Wireless: now I have trauma, thanks. * sQurl almost left her top down this morning * sQurl falls over laughing thinking about last ngiht er that didn't sound quite right I'm cleaning out our bedroom closet some more we must have like 20 bedsheet sets damnit, i fucked my mouse finger on the toilet last night you sucked off a secret service guy in full riot gear and body armor? * sQurl hits xney with a sledge hammer THAT'S male intuition *** mskathy is now known as slavegirl top or bottom? * lump peers out from jimmie's fly. hrm.. nothing currently in my pants * lump has a PGP chastity belt. * rodney purity rating was upgraded to outperform from neutral *** Signoff: dem (I'm outta here!) *** dem (demit@shell7.ba.best.com) has joined channel #Twilight_Zone there are easier ways out of a relationshit karl- we could do it again with 6 people =) Mike: Ray asks "One of the BEastie Boys wants to meet me?" Frontier Persis Center? LD, I'm a one door man ;) too bad someone put your door on backwards E 332 Topic for #Twilight_Zone: "Let us see the sucking powerz of this evil empire." 333 #Twilight_Zone Xney3 895353870 Man, routers with front-panel push-button configurations suck. I'm listening to this guy try to config his router....beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep There's no ... cummunity... on the net. *** gavroche has changed the topic on channel #Twilight_Zone to Noodles are str8 too.. until you get them hot. but i'm not sure i'm quite comfortable with the stick yet I am working on an MIS guy, tho that is what cisco is like.. sex all the time. i think my sister's trailer just got repo'd never thought that i'd say a quick man is nice. Oh! Its coming up our bandwidth makes my penis hard :) i need clothes on. i remember when my boss got in my car when i gave him a ride bahaha, xney and z00p are black chix skars: you work for best, what you felt wasn't a recession , just your normal salary Jon: No, I'm not going to get a prostitute and, if I were, it wouldn't be a blonde. It would be some flatchested brunette or black-haired chick who looks like a boy. my piece of cron is excited! corn cron? shit * mr-hankey smacks self. my underwear is totally riding up my buttcrack! * sQurl looks for more screws we scored in the last 45secs hmm.. a rodney creature.. little guys with funny hair running around buying everything up coring is about as close as robert will get to scoring ;) *** morkeleb- has been kicked off channel #twilight_zone by morkeleb- (that's my nick, fucker) what I'm not enough for you you have to poke the router? it will be up shortly. man I'm just poking everyone tongiht i am about 45 secs from being done here I was wanting to show you my penis last night and I spanked eve today i'm a big guy * sQurl strips tay and jumps in i've been sexoring goats for 2 1/2 years blah.. i guess i can yank mine and come over * sQurl wants to see jeff squeeze it in his room wanna buy me? it may be small, but its not inverted! NO one makes me squeel like MsK! my god, i'm shedding like a golden retriever what do you do with interens squrl? * jimmie schedules his wedding via email I can see it now, Rodney doing informercials "I'm Rodney! I AM A MILLIONARE! YOU CAN BE ONE TOO! msk has a tongue that just doesn't stop if they are shaped nicer, you don't have to wipe as much, so you use less toilet paper, and that saves money the shape of your turds has a direct financial impact my throat hurts it's the fuckstration getting to me I know it i'd just do it by hand purple hooter came out of my sweater! nobody is on my burrito. the last girl i was with, thought she'd dropped a cheeto down my pants, it was my penis I dont need viagra, I have no problem cumming too early :) * SwedeMike is master of snot and cum. wanna see whut I been playing with...? i still can't believe i'm going out with a mac person. * mskathy finds beaver ascii art well, I have enough for everyone I wonder where my package is hmm, i'm trying to imagine spanking it with astroglide on leonardo dpkaprio phisher; i need to know what irc people you've slept with man this ice is cold actually, I do.. its BIG I AM IRON BOX hang on jeff I turned mounting on no i manually did it you know, I play with my tongue too much I can't spoink myself heh.. this guy's ont he phone calling his computer pookie.. "Oh come on pookie, you can do it pookie.. there you go pookie, thats it... " I can't get em tight enough it's been hung this way for an hour now [to marcus] hmm we should swap some sticks mj: grr, you keep doing this and it will keep getting harder I was born sold. * mskathy gets her bag o' smack. * CosmicMJ bends hax0r over her desk gets out her 15 inch cat o nine tails, rams the butt up his ass, makes him scream " MY MISTRESS IS THE BEST FUCK" then I whip him till he jisms all over himself and make him lick it up * Arian speechless * CosmicMJ goes after Arian with her cat-o-nine ARGHHHHH THE DEMONS AND TROLLS OF HECK HAVE COME FOR US! * sQurl unsucks mskathy * CosmicMJ is away: giving death a blow job newp, I like clean-shaven men. *jimmie* Adair2 i havent touched that in a long time I kissed fable, jon, marcus, eve, rose, karl, and I think tay.. * _Melody_ sucks on a stick * sQurl accusses xney of altoids * CosmicMJ gets on her knees behind Caine, pulls his pants down and puckers up <--- now that is KISSING ASS :P "Try inserting some latin rythms in there." I have a penis! OH MY GOD. MY PENIS IS STUCK IN A TREE. "My paswird omly wirkd onw tome our of ten! Besdt sux!" when i had it set on viberate ty: Is it true Canadians are jsut Americans who 'couldnt cut it' ? (I gotta ask the mall this) we need 2 so we can make it longer I DONT BEND THAT WAY, CARLA banging the boofs, a #tz experience * marcus wants anything that moves crack? *perk* my friends call me bj, and the seniors when i went to high school called me blowjob :( I'm on my knees welcome to efnet, pick a channel and grab your smurf.c 9" is nothing The kitten eats an elf corpse named squrl.--More-- Prillinger Newtsbane You put a wand of cancellation into the bag of holding. :(( | /% &.&.&| | % -- ) .&&&&T| | -- &&&@D.-- | ------- -&&&-- * drGonzo problem I need a freaking pencil he who controls the pussy wins hey, what's the best windoze newsreader for grabbing pr0n from alt.binaries? "BBN will be getting to exodus' web sites just fine via Sprint." -dorian I DON"T NEED A VIBRATOR you and boufa can come over and play with my balls afterwards it doesnt need to be big So Xney...what did you do to piss off Norway? You post thoser pictures of Caine's mom? *** Arian has been kicked off channel #best by Caine (MY MOM DIED IN NORWAY) Doug... are you looking to leave tivoli? Try: not actively, but it's always a thought ... i know in the next month or so a junior sys admin position is going to open heh. I don't want jr :) jr pays ~70k here but ok :-) hmm, I want jr. The little dog is confused from hunger. The little dog dies. * CosmicMJ doesn't have penis envy.. she's had her share of dicks in her lifetime flashman you liberal *** Xney has changed the topic on channel #best to "MMMmmm, d0nuts..." - RJP you must make a sacrifice to Masturbatos, god of wank something wierd is causing it to die jimmie didnt make me sweat last night my buffer isn't that big Three sizes of women: LARGE, X-LARGE, & IT'S HEADED RIGHT FOR US! * dem goes to brush teeth best is probably the worst ISP to irc from. unless, of course, you're just chatting with people. oh man it makes funny squishy noises when you put it back in u could suck on my nipples and floss your teeth at the same time. my ass isn't even worth 100 bucks I was very good, I did not even take it out to see what it was TAN NAIR, shave your legs and get an artificial tan, too! my ass hURTS! well time to go get loving from my wife now that i spent $$$$$ on her car * jimmie # *** jimmie has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to This channel rated : IRC-J2 - Jon2 may talk about his fecal matter I think I need a slave. my ass hurts!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am not here to educate you I like good catholic women, they give better head. i have no flaws. They are "undocumented features." w00t I missed my space sp00ge and bubbles that I can't eat but can i thought BOFH had something to do with Bi sexual blah blah blah grep -ic channel operkills.log 1592 candice:~> grep -ic bot operkills.log 10565 * sQurl is everyons furry forest friend mmm whip yes good whip * CosmicMJ & giving death a blow job yay I know I'm REALLY hopping im here to bitch slap reid <_zerox> which one of you niggerz admins shell8.ba.best.com * jwhyne sucks down the whole thing ifitwaspuffing,itwasme her bowling ball sees more action than my balls do and paige doesn't feel good, so she probably would use that as an excuse not to have sex with me i don't need excuses not to have sex with you i don't want warez, i want a woman of course, a realdoll won't run off and sleep with another guy and break your heart I"ve only had white men, AOL IS FUCKING NOTHING COMPARED TO THE SWEDISH GOVERMENT i have enough trouble controling her myself ok everyone who wants oper, ASSUME THE POSITION (o) (o) (_) ___ / \ \___/ anything less then a Ds3 honny. put it away im not interested there is no way that someone could get their entire mouth around one of those things You get supersize bitch I can bend over *** redbird has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to I swallow. damnit I can't get the cork out now I JUST SUCK IN EBD X is one of those wham bam thank you dem people my beavers rule. I have an apron it says: I'm the bitch of the house, now let me do my job! *** Signoff: carrar (irc-w.primenet.com *.sprynet.com) *** carrar (osburn@osburn.com) has joined channel #twilight_zone hhahaha shit I typed /restart by accident tay is single with no cheese? *** Alkaline_ has been kicked off channel #ircu by Alkaline- (CTCP flooder) that's more like "S&M pee traps" me and mr hand will go into the bathroom for a little bit now... !irc.exodus.net! Received SQUIT irc2.exodus.net from hmz (reroute) next time hmz will have to give ME a blowjob instead of reid be nice or i will tell tammy that she isnt getting deep enough :) I feel like a woman i don't hate sexist people... just sexist women. I am not easily offended, I just don't like semen do not stare at FDDI cable with remaining eye Man, if I wanted to be Canadian, I'd shove a hockey puck up my ass and go around saying 'Eh' i lick tacacs+ BBN's not sucking in a good way, not in a $10000/night call girl way, they're sucking in a $5 blow job from a crack ho way. OH BY THE WAY WE'RE BEING ACQUIRED. AGAIN. hey, at least we didn't merge with tab.net Yes, we did. Verio owns tabnet. o fuck *** _Melody_ has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to Xney in RL: "Jeff that pepperoni is too big to be yours" * mskathy puts her hands down brian2's pants, to warm them up. pikers chances + of getting laid is 0 did you get new batteries also mj? xney: you have to be "clipped" to work at verio. new corp policy. I got completelt naked once in front of a ton of people when I was drunk hrm, need to get the penises off my netscape screen first. i own jimmie' s pants xney got neutered =/ i would love for tay to fly to austin and do ANYTHING to me IRS IS MY LIFE err iRC i own a penis but i don't own an AK-47. <_Melody_> marcus has a tiny penis Our place is easy to find, I'll email you erections. kanan come eat my candy ! It suxors, because sometimes a chick will be like "Hey tober, wanna dance?" and I'll be like "uhhhhhhhhhhhh...... errrrrrrr......... couldn't we talk about linear algebra or something?" tober was part of a secret government experiment where they surgically removed his fun gene. *** FlashSTL has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to You feel trapped. You are now wearing a cursed +5 ring of reduce sex (on left hand). this is going to be LONG! We already know what hiway's execs make. $100M. You are now wearing a-a cursed, -5 ring of increase sex (on left hand). You sense no gold in this vault! --more-- Perhaps your wife was here. *Rogue_F* If we do kline all of aol, are we going to change our name to AFNet? 'efnet oper' can be rearranged to spell 'repent foe' or 'pee for net' jesus too many geeks around here.... "whats in the queue" "these chicken wings are unformatted" "no they are low level formated" all the free peanuts from Ascend have three nuts in them, not two i got aroused by mrtg stats earlier. CRL is useful. I download from cvsup.freebsd when I'm doing other stuff and don't want to saturate my ISDN. and of course matrim was too high and mighty to come last nite jon2 has aids ? blax: i dunno.. i had unprotected sex with persis so you never know just phear jimmie's cock in general is this a channel for dum people? * tay lubs boufa * tay lubes boufa *** boufa is now known as iwantu *** iwantu is now known as spankit *** spankit is now known as boufa im not small, im just right! i have a windows 95 theme of my penis when you click on things i ejaculate prematurely are you sure this isn't squrl mating season? xney: I've got forearms that make a masturbation-crazed-benny look like a smurf ;-) i have to: while [ 1 ]; do cat /usr/demo/SOUND/sounds/drip.au > /dev/audio; sleep ; done and wander around the machine rooms for a while ----- The following addresses had permanent fatal errors ----- majordomo@nanog.edu yow wake up steve shell3:/users/u3/kirchner# ls -ald b/in/ shell3:/users/u3/kirchner# ls -ald /bin/noshell lrwxrwxrwx 1 root bin 8 Nov 17 09:26 /bin/noshell -> /bin/ksh I've never had any desire to kiss jon2 at all OBEY DA TAY * lumchan notes that her forearms exercises have helped her masturbation abilities from ami: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ that helps my masturbation abilities. blown.net - when performance counts, get BLOWN well i got some penetrating to do bbl my linux router is immune to your little smurfs pwwwwwwwwwwwwhr-=13U(RU@!!%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% i have no money I'm hung like a protozoa. dude i fucked this black guy and his penis was SO BIG One look at Nicole, and you can see she was made for basketball... dem go up, xney go down, xney go up, dem go down in case anyone wonders what that loud noise was, I hit my knee on the desk, sending lots of stuff crashing that wasnt my mom that was a sheep i spend the whole time trying to find it before i can play with it why do we have to swallow? if I can't swallow water, I aint swallowing nothing else HOW COME I CAN'T GET MY DICK SUCKED WHEN ALL THESE NETWORKS ARE SUCKING DICK? I'm 100% bitch in canada anything under 10000 ms is good no steve cisco's playtoy is its own network cisco's minefield is your network. eve is watching guys masturbate on cu-cme eve got gass 5 times we had joel for dinner *SLURPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP* * jimmie is larger then karl I belive that my penis is larger and more robust than jimmie's. i was just thinking that darn it doesnt fit Having Nicole mad at you is kinda like offending a deformed fetus. It's not a threat, and never will be. like computers: "cheap, fast, reliable - pick two", women it's "pretty, smart, sane - pick two" *sQurl* push it in ALL the way wow my right nut just started hurting i wonder if it's because of my wireless ethernet antenna my kittens tried to find files with name "77777777777777777777777nnnnnnnnnnnnmmmmmmmmmmmm" on my bedroom computer This is too funny. I can't believe we stumbled upon a packet channel just cuz we wanted to talk about furbys #furby I mean it needs to be wet but not soggy daemon - I learned the benefits of releasing clutches more slowly on my dad's tractor I popped a wheelie on it lm its messy but easy vaguely reminiscent of 'verio', the alternate spelling of b0rg arian doesn't have a penis, he has a wenis he's the exception to the no penis rule wenis is a nice term for penis This is DPK, he's in charge of the skanks * drGonzo & exercising the plastic last year, two lesbians got in a fight near the door over another woman doh, what a time to find out im out of tp isn't pantera a car? because i'm starting to be suspicious that i've never seen cdy and kalbfeld at the same time.. maybe he doesn't exist ive been to lammersdorf before *** Your user mode is "+oiwszcrkfydn" I want a larger member. that's what y2k will really be... a couple of weeks of things screwed up, a bunch of wackos freaking out, and then a 2-decade-long lawsuit fest strap-on! strap-off! strap-on strap-off... the STRAPPER lightning's under attack. from its own news server. * Darkshde cores exodus like a ripe apple * CosmicMJ makes a mental note not to bend over again I am so drubj abnypojnewana come over dor sex: and someone recently called me the "#tz women welcome wagon" i have nuts in my mouth I'm hung like a guatemalan citrus bat. I sucked that one down fast.. sheesh, record time for me Hey..it's much bigger when it's hard. Tell those two to come over..then grab me again. I think the funniest thing I've ever seen was when I was asking Dima something, he brought up a man page and stared at it for a moment, then uttered: "This page is not useful at all." if.you.touch.chris.s.prostate.you.can.make.comstud.com ( . )( . ) = squrl (.)(.) = boufa but after 2 weeks, we were ready to come here speaking of lotsa pussy they just ran in the room I can do amazing things, all by myself Xney3 Xney3 Xney3 Xney3 Xney3 Xney3 Xney3 Xney3 Xney3 Xney3 Xney3 Xney3 Xney3 [01:48am][rox-(+i)] [#Twilight_(+inst)] [Lag 0] [O/60 N/61 I/53 V/0 F/0] [U:a:S:b:h] [#Twilight_Zone] Bus error (core dumped) :( <_cls_> dont say Xney3, itll core dump bx! we must have at least a few crackheads in here * PetrDoubt prefers women who look like...women. mmmm 12 year old boys. oops. did *I* just say that? bah...I think the dsl is fucking eww my juice just spewed all over me jill, come over here and spank me I'm cheep I admit it my husband is cheap i know this someone is packeting something I see One day, we were sitting at a stop light, and Ginger, my gf, looks forward and says 'Honey! look, he loves Tina!!!" his licsense plate? "ILVTNA" * sQurl tries to fucus i bend jimmie over every night tsk knocked me up. tammy AND a sheep thank you very much * sQurl s are ALWAYS in season hmm slip and slide? is that what tammy is preping me for? *** Signoff: aClient (Killed (SuperTaz (u@h spoof))) & drunk high school girls PEEGEEPEE for your BEEGEEPEE which runs over TEE SEE PEE which runs on EYE PEE which can run on PEE PEE PEE or ESS ELL EYE PEE or AY TEE EMM or EFF EEE or PEE OHH ESS Yeah... and I don't kiss smokers... not, mind you that getting kissed by tober is actually much of incentive to stop smoking... oh, actually, it might be a disincentive... I got carded at the fucking VITAMIN store do you have your coleco adams networked? karl is mjr right? why does it matter whether or not I give good blowjobs that is one ugly guy he is working on in the picture wahaha isnt that clive? well with angel funding god is on your side man my right bicep is TOAST actually mine is bigger than both of yours Yes, everything you've read in the policy is true. receptionist: "He's just getting off, can you hold for a minute?" Hey I am not called the minute man for nothing. <_Melody_> <_Melody_> it's so hot my tits are sweating <_Melody_> ya know what that is called dont you? <_Melody_> it is called mountain dew you haven't seen how big this donut is I can't eat something this big this donut has like more mass than one of my breasts verio.status last updated 12/20/98 He still works her? err here at least I have a backshit again er seat no, i'm perfectly trained i'm an MCSE heh.. X, scorpio women are good for ONE thing. and a lot of it. *** tay has changed the topic on channel #Twilight_Zone to *Jon2(jon@quad.quadrunner.com)* wanna come over and fuq? and here I was thinking "wow. xney is so cool. unlike the rest of #TZ and #unix, he's not making dumb sexual comments!" she must have this "my daughter is having sex radar" I just almost spit tang out my nose A word of advice: never try getting out of a lazyboy that won't close while exclosed on 3 sides in a confined area and standing on a slick chair-roller plastic pad while wearing cotton socks it was like 1.5in diameter and about 5in long huuuuuge hearing essam next to me is funny this morning. he is talking to telco first, he is arab... he said 'you are the worst telco i have dealt with. you hung up on me twice now. i will shoot you' I think I overdosed on chocolate milk i havn't used my forearm so much in some time kleenex boxes run scared when they see me coming i'm not a chick! i don't think i am anyways :) Wow it hasn't been down this long in a while usually only 2-3 mins I ate users sometimes.... rant #1892891: people who call their sattelite dish a "sattelite" what about people who misspell "satellite"? hmm, my penis isn't feeling too lively. no fertilization or world destruction today, i'm afraid. oh my god- look at how big that is can you backdoor me? guess it wasnt in vibrate mode :P I like jizm er to spell it jizm heh.. now here's a headline: Lucent Must Swallow Ascend Without Losing Talent hrm, I dunno that I've actually been riding them per se dealing with but yes, I've had a lot of interesting experiences with my professors today. PacBell: "Well, it doesn't look like they've forgotten about you, but they haven't done anything, either." beak is such the yupster. 4x4, skiing, fooling with the stock market. he's like wireless, but cooler. how long does it take for best to turn up my FR from 128 to 384? like a day or so? About 5 minutes, I think. Now ask how long PacBell takes. blah. scat is is for people who aren't strong enough to just eat it DIRECTLY inside the other person already * sQurl swore off dating....men prolly set to start up automatically on insert verio, no thanks! you're DAMN RIGHT I have a woody that isn't full size dear i'm living the high life tonight.. leftover tuna helper and red wine SOMEONE PLAY WITH ME tammy's not interested in men she's with jeff BAHAHAHAHA I did a global search and replace on quad with "puffer" for this new machine my email address got changed too chuegen@pufferrunner.com __ __ _ __ _ _ / _|/ _| ___ _ __ | '_ \| | | | |_| |_ / _ \ '__| | |_) | |_| | _| _| __/ | | .__/ \__,_|_| |_| \___|_| |_| oops shit wrong window there are 4 patriot missile batteries outside my window yes, but I like walking funny :P verio is hardly an internet company. they're a marketing company that happens to own internet equipment. anybody know where I can find standards/measurements/etc for a standard 19" rack? got to meat the new admin * Taner pets his panties I'm in heat, get away 'ahh so you're Ken Krebs... I got your email' <_Melody_> ok. no more movies about psychotic men dressing as a woman killing nude models * _Melody_ turns off the movie about dem * Yamin was tied up and fucked by 30 underage korean girl scouts. this person has issues This is the biggest weekend of the year for wife beating. why would they lag? i thought verio peering was good i have to leave the room for a minute my roommate has mad gas squrl: fro's are black pony tails. I will NOT play golden showers with you da5 god you people like to complain a lot can I claim my kittens as dependents? I think that was one of the worst thigns i've ever put in my mouth you KNOW how I feel about nuts DUDE I can't NOT bounce I feel like I work for Mary Kay or something. We should make John Chapman Promotion memorial t-shirts. No one LETS me in... I go where I please!! MUAHAHAHHAHA gee..my tits get flashed and i get attention its this thingie that measures how hard you blow [MSG FROM|conceited|15:05:04|i bet your just a donut eating ircop.] It's the whole "quasi-lesbian schoolgirl anime" thing I have my rc vibrator er no, some guy in jersey just unplugged the irc server because ti was 'in his way' Verio BUZZ? is that like a vibrator buzz or more of a coffee buzz? well, it's clearly obvious that artificial sweeteners turn you into a communist why do you think it comes in pink envelopes MY EJACULATION WILL REND YOU FROM CROTCH TO NECK, BABY i'm piker, i'm not stupid :) i'm a bitch i'm piker my jammie party has suddenly been turned into an orgy. 12 more inches and I'll be happy with it it's still too short now er heh. yeah.. id love to see that. maybe she can write me another message in her blood.. that would rule. muzzy II: because the first time only lasted 2 minutes so instead of buying roses, just fuck the shit out of the one you love never looked how big mine was that depends entirely on size comstud br0ke tay last night *Unf* People who own Jag's buy them so they can have conversations with other Jag owners about why their Jag is in the shop *** Xney3 has changed the topic on channel #Twilight_Zone to "If you hear vibrating noises, ignore it" - sQurl in RL that felt kinda good, both ways ITS NEVER TO EARLY FOR MASTURBATION FLAWLESS WEDGIE I"m on telnet from Kinkos on Ventura Blvd I WANNA GO TO MARINE WORLD AS SOON AS IT CHANGES TO SIX FAGS !!!! WHO WANTS TO GO! err there's nothing wrong with pacbell but taner, you have dth * Taner bends dth over * dth grabs its ankles * Taner pumps away ooooooohhhhhhhhh xney: i'm not putting my penis anywhere where munchie's penis has been 4 times.. thats a record for me :) what happens if we turn off mae-west? Aeris calls. im on 100mb to a t3..but the t3's on digex, so cdy looks like a white steve urkle my GF doesnt fuck canucks Xney: my GF drags me to the gay bars ok..I'm about to start enjoying this pager too mcuh i actually gave money to a homeless dude today i like fell out of my car laughing at his sign "road rage practice area. for only $1 per time, you can practice running me over" and then he flipped to the next sign and it went on.. he had like three of them my boobs tried typing again * rjp finds a gun to commit double suicide with core * mr_bill just replaced his "foofy" soft toilet seat with a manly hard one it will be the best 3 inches of your life i'm playing with it now i should stop having sex in the morning. i arrive here later and later every day my god Exchange server is slow noodles and balls that's all * marcus licks tay's balls I'm doing everyone i cant even spell alcholol * Caine kiais and goes limp < #cpa;cja,ber pl whoa that was soposed to be '/m #coalchamber ok' dude, i'd never let a woman tell me where i could drive. i'd be like, HEY, why don't you go back in the bedroom, and dress up like a fireman, and wait until i get home so you can exercise my hose, bitch!? Tingles all through me making me all hot and wet for you...alas I cannot do anything about it but mmmm its such a delicious feeling er hi I once got 'floormat burns' from the back of my mom bronco its maybe 18" if that Xney there were 3 7500's sitting in the whore house and I petted them and nothing to happened to them whore/whare lol I thought I was your girlfriend fjodder s/girlfriend/boyfriend hrm the on site sleazy male type is hitting on another asian chick * drGonzo listens to stupid one-liners fly behind his cube * drGonzo tells marcus-type to shut up shit.. who sold my nuts?! xney: I cut 9 inches and my shower time went down 20 minutes. -> *son* showkills from xney* *** Signoff: son (Excess Flood) A Craig full of beans ought to be considered to be a munition. yeah, my back seat still hasn't recovered from the last time craig was in it it sucks!!! run for your lives!!!! cool, I'll poke it when I get to office tonight have sex with a comforter with a little head poking out of it isn't as interesting Missi's all the ma...woman I need. As for me, I have to work out my sexual frustrations by writing software. unf unf unf unf unf unf sp00. . o O { Mmmmmmmkay, now let's go to IHOP } I really like cartman's attitude I think he most closely represents me when I was a kid except I was skinny Randy Bush is one of the most acidic pompous jackasses you'll ever meet needs to have his hands in everything he's even more of a pompous jackass than me. *slurp* ack umm *** Da5id has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to Welcome to "The Wrong Window." i think i've done every room *** dem has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to it's nice to be on the bottom for a change wahahaha tammy just called iron horse champagne 'iron maiden' squrl's coming to eat me s/eat/get freudian slip, sorry whoa. i've been fisted. HAHAHAAHH Subject: Req For Winframe Account Hi Jason, Can U pl... Create this account Immediatly. User Id : crapolla Password :crapolla Other Info 1) User Full Name:Claudia Rapolla no no no i said *PLUCK* the chicken [(msg)murphy69] lezzy sex? can i watch *drool* *murphy69* sure (demongirl@dynamic39.pm01.san-jose.best.com [01:02]) hrm yay! * js meeps you realize she works in the walsh ncc? oh shit no * morkeleb goes DOWN HARD What goes vroom-screech, vroom-screech? A blonde driving through a flashing red light. I've seen ads where a couples want to meet other couples with large animals its sick I rather hump a sheep than getting a golden shower i'm marrying andyd * TikiGodd is applying to cmu. cause it looks like cum marcus doesn't scare them off he just turns them into lesbians touch my penis and you will be redeemed (but only if you are female and good-looking). vivek: 'where's /etc/services?' * PetrDoubt redistributes Bleet Goat Protocol into Oh Shit Peter Fuckedup one girl and I were talking about solarix x86 durring sex craig: i have ceiling fans at the new place. bring the kittens over =) I get the bong Mr Gates donated $38 million to aids research?> yeah, outcaste, he wants windows to be the only deadly disease affecting millions Career Goals: To find a job where I can afford a Happy Meal without using two paychecks. *** Schrade has changed the topic on channel #Best to I've never been able to get length on mine gonna be a monk I've had it with girls Uncut men look odd. what does "uncut" mean? my hole is VERY barred oooh batteries I never realized just how big Vanessa Williams breasts are. i masturbate several times a day. i'm hardly sexually frustrated. er Ok.. Hogan's weenie is NOT a peice of shit damnit but i could do this much faster without taking my hand off the keyboards and you'll find that Cisco stuff tends to work outside of Exodus there is no penis on my tv if there was, I sure as hell wouldn't be on irc me+man=sex i always thought paige was a d00d i like how your nuts will gently bang up against a chick's ass while you take her from behind ok...the baaaing noises from the living room are... *** dem has changed the topic on channel #Best to I'm Going to stop eating meat and go on a protein diet my pants are shaking I'm going to bed dreaming of my wife & rose err my wife & jill i made use of the flight attendants. My God it's full of morons you've had one rodent you've had them all nice repetitive *thump* i just sit and watch it grow its not the size that counts its how much it holds.. gods that is small I noticed that when I'm having sex with my cat, it claws the hell out of my legs. NO FUCKING SQURLING er talka bout typos lalalala "Warning - Severe Anal Damage" "Do Not Pull Out" hey I've kissed your girlfriend too i do believe i've found the source of the problem ;-) *** koitsu has left channel #best hahah Problems solved. I need Missi's boobs to suck on must be the bullseye on my forhead * sQurl tucks small vibrating object into her pocket and gets ready to leave (I'm tlaking about my pager, you perverts ) Astroglide > KY <_warchild> is best.com down? <_warchild> shell2.ba.best.com yes the hacked accounts are down dude I could use much more than a pacifier right now can we PLEASE talk about something OTHER than my breasts for a change THANK YOU your posts did go through without me approving it I think "but xney's dsl was dead" heh the dsl outage hampered our ability to tell you about the dsl outage i cant masterbate and type ...i can bearly type with two hands less then one ..Oh god now there would be a typo hello * Tsk gets down on his knees * redbird unzips Tsk, wanna come over here? stay on your knees though your sharing your penis..is there enough to go around the whole cause if not put it away mommy says share with everyone or dont share at all here comes a long one screwing a saw horse is not my idea of fun 40% isn't that big of a pay cut is it? well...semen is a great source of sodium and protein, that coupled with a balanced diet can give your girlfriend a healthy sheen to her hair and nice teeth. oh, well, I have an idea lets talk about MY favorite subject ME I have one more input? i swallow wow these wieners are SPICY ya little karl would be cool I could keep him in my pocket imagine if it would've gone in my mouth I got these mad perky tits! yea, I come in chicken and ham too. MY ASS HURTS!@! my ass does hurt. ouch. Pete Sampras on Babs Streisand: She's what I call a pitching wedge. She looks good from about 150 yards away. i like a big penis penetrating my quivering anus Jon2: That must be why you bought a house in the BA i went flacid after 30 mins of repeated attempts i paid him all i had frendian slip he is huge sorry, we are verio, no one hears yours screams I WILL FUCK YOU UP THE ASS I don't think I've ever had sex while computer chatting. Maybe a blow job, tops. when I was like 16. I shall excuse this behavior with the age card, thank you. dem-: how could you give a blowjob and type at the same time? i hadn't realized just how annoying No Doubt really is until my cubemate started playing the whole album. I hate shell news readers for pron TOPSHAM, Maine (AP) -- A Missouri man who came to Maine to pursue a relationship with a woman he had met over the Internet died after cutting his neck with a chain saw on her front lawn to prove his love. sex? is that a type of cheese? im HOT!!!! *** Signoff: andyd (Local kill by coremon ((Auto-Kill) links looker)) two knots per stem, if it's long enough sorry, I was eating a pickle (really). so were gonna meet up when he gets a chance, to go over waht the company is about he's got a package and everything semi doesnt' count, less youre really tight uh I mean HI who did kanan marry? brian2? hell karl got laid ... anything can happen smix & x11amp & ack damn irc window getting in the way <{Mantis}> Im talking about the whole ball of wax, scorps usually only know how to use the equipent welll i own more csco than jered ;) BGP with PB and Verio...that sounds like a recipe for total reliability... no time even for a quickie whats up with verio? it's verio man, tori amos just cannot suck enough "I'VE BEEN WRONGED BY EVERY MAN IN MY LIFE, KILL MEN, MAIM MEN, FUCK MENNNNNNNNNNNNNNN" whoa that was nbad I could identify this one porn star, by his dick hahahahah whoa that sounded bad this is funny: one of Jason's email messages to a customer got ROT13'd before it was received. karlos, are you huge? i have to adjust my eyesockets after sex. X: How big is it? now there is just a memory of a once round and firm buttock dont look at me, I just provide the pipe My ethernut hub has so many blinking lights, I think it deserves a spot on top of the Christmas tree. <-- LIKES VAGINA er hang on larz let me grab my ankles "If Winoze is the answer, can we please have the problem back?" --sig from earlytime (earlrob@mnsinc.com) Can't everyone just buy everyone else, and get it over with? -> 107 May 15 Got Milk? (49) SIX FAGS MARINE WORLD * sQurl falls over laughing I still don't believe tay typoed that I've decided, Karl, to work on my resume every time Verio has a suck I've had a lot of time, lately heh i'm walking around with only one contact in my eye i should go and put the other one in Karlee..Karlee reads a lot of scifi/fantasy too.. I mean..Karl my turtle is covered in apple sauce brb All our representatives are busy looking for new jobs. Please hold while we attempt to hire newer losers. man... back when SGI spun off MIPS, i wrote a little slogan for SGI: "SGI: We buy `em, we ruin `em, we spin `em off!" prophetic words what kind of man are you rone? after sex, a sleepy one yer one of those roll over guys huh? no, you see, the big dick was supposed to go to another channe. * _Melody_ is away: sex that I wont' have bad dreams maybe I'll have a hawt sex0r dream with nicholas cage yeah, me too er kpd: Verio can beat any price on packet loss that AGIS quotes you. "Now, the Verio strategy is moving into another phase where it's focusing on execution." of it's employees? *** Strahd has been kicked off channel #twilight_zone by drifter ( drifter, you kinda look like jon2) alright then. let me see. i will visit a website in honor of st1ng this is MUCH softer on my ass ... not my fault all this wood hurts my ass ... maybe i should try this mountain dew bottle linky's is bigger than yours I think In certain positions, it's pain free, and in others, ouch, it hurts. *** MrEddie (eddie@tntport0120.cwjamaica.com) has joined channel #Best begone *** Signoff: mjf (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer)) damn, wrong target nude men ? that sounds good <_Melody_> sheesh <_Melody_> you get a guy a decent buttplug <_Melody_> and he doesn't even take it with im. :( * _Melody_ sniffs. sh dialer int dialer2 ack I ahve my standards. Yes, i am gay. Yes, I like women. It could be worse.. I could be hetero sexual and like women. sQurli: i'm putting money on ryan as being the bigger of the two hrm, I like the new def leopard er leppard Someone is at the reception desk with a routing problem. haha "Our local support is in Dallas, sir." Remember, when you call Dallas, you aren't calling across the country, you're calling next door! think of best.com as a deck chair -- one with a good view -- on the titanic this is a weird conversation i am typing on irc to tammy she is talking on the phone to me Controller Memory Size: 64 MBytes DRAM, 8192 KBytes SRAM 382836 crashes since last restart. *** drGonzo has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to Anal Sex: lube or no lube? no lube but thats cuz i'm small i am touching my penis We got married when we had no money, so I think I'm safe. no, you're safe because you're a complete submissive i swallowed, but i didn't SAY i did DSL ... it's like some sort of dream that'll never come true rone beat me you expect us to believe strahd has a woman? it's every-so-slowly increasing in size :) * amnesia just submitted his resume for a position at burger king theyh are pretty selective :[ ah. now this is an improvement: shell3 now seems to have disappeared. s/et novice off You are on shell3. Passages lead to shell2, shell4, and shell5. I smell a wumpus! *Strahd* /me kisses shannon *Strahd* ack yea, so I'm just gonna have to buy a bigger strap on I paid like $700 for my 32" c'mon, kentaro... you ain't had ass until you've had latin ass. I just realized my turtle is the same size as my Microsoft mouse lol personally i only wear heels with cocktail dresses We've also got NOC people editing zone files with pico, and breaking them. Lots of them. I'd rather have no car than a broken window. OK, kids...what's the maximum number of SOAs per zone? If you said 2, you have a career waiting for you at Verio! but I have absolutely NO interest in "getting laid" efudd: okay the ehater and fan works Dallas' phones are screwed, so they are going to route their calls here. That should really help! yes, the dine.com people tend to be incredibly random. "This is the best chinese in the world!! and I should know, I am from New Jersey!" etc. and its so BIG! note to self: do not autorun through lavastorm I can not keep my clothes on dunno, did what #BitchX told me * Tsklight sits at home waiting for reid's package confreg 0x2142 ack and nik heard the dolphins on it riiiight the earth is spinning in your living room and what the fuck amj i talking about i'm stoned whoah this is wild I think I neeed ot take another hit my fingers won't stop typgin holy fuck help me now lala bya We say we're sorry because...we ARE sorry. hey squrl, do you think my ass is sexy? only when you're bent over and spread for me and my strapon to you... *** CTCP PING from Ka_Shima everyone else is 15 sex wow I get points for being dumb I had a cd in my burner under the blank and never noticed no, no problems cept it took him three times to get the thing positioned in my throat right so it would go into my stomache the right way or whatever er Security = fumbling with filters until the attack stops. besides im a big girl and I like big things.. what can I say Gee, the people who moved alzheimers.net's DNS away from us forgot to tell us. which I remembered to check what size mine were flashman is about as liberal as a marble is sharp * Matt_B is gonna wear his belt buckle mistletoe...gonna be a good Christmas isn't part of being a Tier I provider having really obtuse DNS? *** Notice -- Received KILL message for Karl. From irc.best.net * sQurl laughs My god, Dallas is clever. "This customer can't get crypto software...can you make this IP reverse?" Sure. Poof. It reverses. Has for weeks. Did you TRY it?? Remember, when you call from Dallas to MV to get someone to do an nslookup, you aren't calling across the country. You're calling next door! Wow, that's elite. Customer's DSL is down, so he sends a partial traceroute. The middle of the traceroute. Not the beginning. Not the part where it stops. The middle. "My DSL is down. Here's some hops in alternet." Thanks, dude. boufa: I have a 1/2" one right now i have a 7/8" one 1mp : fuck off *grin* nono, let me do that. :-) * sQurl gets out the astroglide and strapon and heads over to mels nah I was already wet enough er my penis is a good 10" New! Wire Monkey Barbie! Comes with pink cable and crimper! There is a systems engineer who has his desk in the corner of the machine room now. *** _Melody_ has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to http://205.158.55.116/mewcowmew/music/s/SavageGarden/TrulyMadlyDeeply.mp3 <_Melody_> er my ass is sticking to the leather im netsexing squrl hush now :P yea, all fury has to do is masturbate and he's banging a 17 year old shuddup jill! let me talk to the dicks you want to see a REAL root spell? kill -9 `ps -ef | grep dork | grep -v grep | cut -f2` 60" is like minimum I'd love the 80" one golden handcuffs? mine are platinum i am NOT putting my penis in an electric anything thank you very much it is 2" thick. *** dem has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to jimmie you guys figured out what is up with your name servers? doh I want to go get like $1M in cash and just sleep in it for a night since best, i've waited the normal 3 month period to bring in my bat. it seems i will need its magical totem powers if i am to survive here. "How many NOC staff does it take it screw in a light bulb?" 500 to send the outage notices to nocstaff, 14 managers to escalate it to client services and back, and one to change it. can we get a head start now? "The Penis is once again...your friend." I feel so...small. you should "i'll take 'things that squeeze' for $300, alex" "anus, pylorus, jeff chan" "What are famous sphincters?" "correct!" multi-millionaire get it right god i want another penis so you can use standard flash equipment today i am thankful that white people conquered this land * LadyDeath screws like a frantic bull in a china shop :P i already have a corn on the cob vibrator jimmie, slap farlow with your large robust penis please. xney help im lost in your box :P dammit, its not done, I have to keep sucking.. being a chick rules agreed. I heard that they don't let jill have a seat cushion on planes due to 'excess flotation equipment" ok, i'll go get the astroglide, who's coming over? <_Dragon_:#fearfactory> what is it? I can't see irc and internet at ther same time. wonder if I should sell one or two shares to pay off my truck and credit cards ewps i did some work, we lost 2 points you thought that i was screaming the last time.. just try it now Xney3: my dad called and said "so about this laptop you are buying me.. it needs a case, I know of a nice itallian company that makes cases.." i wish i had a cock to suck on right about now. you could get laid here taner my hand is numb who wants to touch me? I'm contagious what can I say bigger is enough for the bedroom ok I need to mount my antenna today lammahs are hung wel you know if FF is gonna come to the states? That's what monopoly is all about! Prividing cheap service for you, due to efficiency. one of my favorite lines is (talking to a female of course) "I want to eat you out until my face looks like a glazed donut" daffy : pot :: melody : money * LadyDeth marries Daffy no wait that would make me stoned not happy Sat Jan 1 16:25:06 PST 2000 im never getting married i feel like harassing people and causing general trouble. i think i'll start "helping" in #help. * Da5id rubs his beard i smell my girlfriend. can you please do me i'm seeing two studs at once get your ass in the other room and prepare to be mounted. I'm wet rone fucked mothra? i should shave and grow boobs then get a job at Hooters ya know next time someone talks to my tits i think i am going to get on my knees and start talking to their zipper fucking kicked my power button hm, can I be a slut? I like that idea =) sex: where the man bores a woman :P * callas 's tummy is still recorvering from the in n out go get ready byatch.. if you are coming that is i can do stemish manually, i guess. *** callas is now known as ho I wanna have sex in that new sparkly bubbly jelllo shit er did I say that outloud? this statement is gonna sound all wrong.. but i'm working on a cute chick.. she's just currentl grounded. ;P I'm surprised nobody on irc ever noticed that there was a smurf named Vanity Smurf I'm hard my exwife was bisexual and was always trying to set me up with the babysitter so we could have a threesome well... i divorces the ex and am going to propose to the babysitter in 2 weeks :) mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmvibrationnnnnnnnnsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss i just spilled hot soup down my clevage * LadyDeth gets a boner Xney i ride well little black kitty just got a nail trimming because little black kitty just pierced my nipple with her claw and honestly, an older woman might not be that bad might be an improvement think I'm gonna go eat a banana * Xney3 gives tay his banana I don't play with miniature banana's. my appetite is too big. dude I would totally boink her, in a second, flat on her back booyah! er that sucked ass you don't like lick it, your mouth goes inside it was it big? hype34r kit776ty on383 the key78b93ard i'm blowing my nose, not you * LadyDeth smacks xney] you are such a MALE tay smacked me with her dick is aol like best? I'M PISSED OFF.. .BUT I'M HAPPY i never had to get it turned on before I worked for EDS once. I know what not to do if I want my business to survive. Petr: they go work for Verio NOC because they dont' have Fry's out there, eh? maybe all shell3 users could share the console connection my wrist hurts being single sux err * frash licks Loverman back err KICKS woops! a dick is a terrible thing to waste how long you gotta keep em before they're hard callas it should get hard within minutes of takin it out yea, but I can't get back there, or on the floor to do it the right way or whatever tay: I am an 'all anal' penguin person now I just realized I was watching a program on hair restoration. * brian2 reads through a letter to the editor about how this 18 year old chick can name the hospitals all the members of NSync were born in, but can't name even 10 of the 50 state capitals.. I can't believe I just did that I lasted ALL day what the hell is a "debian potato"? a cookie for an irish Linux user? good guess I know how sex works Between MJ and Celia, statistically I should be dead Mand when Karl nad MJ adn Tammy and Dem went at it all at once, dogs down the street started howling from the noise when do we set our cocks back? clocks? Hey, I can have sex anytime, but my beer only stays cold for so long.. Define bigger....first of all...everyone's going to have a claim based on a different measurement.. i like dog head *Perly* pardon this silly question, but are you the same karl that used to run mcs? LD:should i come over for our quickie lunch now? jonas is gonna make me ride that thing i was so stoned last night i saw a piece of black plastic on the ground, and thought it was a dead bat and i stared at it for like 10 minutes I found out it was daylight savings time when Nox crashed out becuase the desktop 'Its dayulight savings time' thing poped up in Win95 ummm cucumbers werd boufa. Don't make me come ovah there bitch... hahahhahhaa, and what's that oil on my nuts? tober: do you do guy stuff? What constitutes "gay stuff"? True story. My friend Brian used to be a radiology tech.. and someone came in with a vibrator stuck in his hass. In the OR, right before he went under, the doc asked if he wanted him to remove teh vibrator or just change the batteries. in a freaky note, my boss's 5 year old son put a sparkler gun up to his dad's head and said "dodge this." "Blackout for 00Q1 begins on 04/07, so there should be plenty of time for the options to be credited to your account before then." Date: Fri, 07 Apr 2000 16:29:31 -0700 Thanks, Verio! my girlfriend barked then she is in the bathroom want some? It's good look, bitch, you like your O: line? argh my shirt keeps trying to make a break for it Apr 8 12:13:33 bonita suhd[23392]: fataT: Loca(/ Corru=/ed cheru bytesoon inpu *** Signoff: vx0 (Connection reset by SWBT lineman who CAN'T RECOGNIZE A FUCKING T1 LINE) *** Caine2 (caine@nod.malkavian.com) has joined channel #best *** Signoff: Caine2 (Local kill by Caine2 (Thanks aaron)) "Believe me, dog-rape is the least of your worries." * Tsk blinks overhearing parts of conversations from co-workers is scary I dunno how long it is, never measured it metric assload is a technical term. fuckton is shorthand. i'm just getting in touch with my inner fascist This thermometer is on crack. my ass is NOT 105 degrees Tsk- most people dont LIKE rectal thermometers Why the fuck are you taking your temp rectally? Yes well, this one is special. It's got a lazer. you are putting a LASER IN YOUR ASS? Only legit excuse to put something up your ass without coming off as being gay? I don't felch MYSELF er, i dont felch ANYONE craig and jered look more like cousins than brothers that's because in my family, my cousins *are* my brothers JASON IS A GIRL oops hahaha how'd that get on my buffer? <{Mantis}> we had an interesting conversation once while we were both doing nitrous balloons... <{Mantis}> pure...pharamsuetical grade nitrous I might add <{Mantis}> we were in the middle of this awesome conversation and then we both looked up and here walking up to us....was this naked woman who was painted from head to toe as a cheetah... <{Mantis}> with wiskers and all...I thought I was hallucinating...and then she walked up to me...and reached out and said...."can I have some of your ballooon" <{Mantis}> I was so startled I let it go......and it went zinnning around,.... <{Mantis}> she went damn.........now I'll have to blow and another one... karl, yes well.. at least i didn't scream too loudly.. i don't think.. i just did a man on it too =) looks like they just blew the entire second floor thats me, i work for dick I like S&M but only if it's a female dominatrix can it stay up for more than 24 hours? take viagra I can hold a lil bit, not all of it it just takes a lot to suck it all out er uhm. just cause i have to blow 3 legged monkeys for crack money dont mean it is a bad thing the trim was all kinds of fucked up on the plane I flew today, thing was stiffer than a 14 year olf boy in a whorehouse, no matter what I did errr wrong chan I cant wait to go home and get undresed alcoh9ol, rules I was in the store the other day to buy a new pair of shoes I picked up a sorta-plain pair of running shoes brought them to the counter and the kid with his trousers hanging about 4" below his boxers said "so, you like the retro-look with your shoes, eh?" I'm like "uhh, you mean the plain look?" craig == dennis leary hey Karl i got one of those wrist things and your nuts! WHY DOES MY ASS HURT EVERYTIME I GO OUT TO EAT WITH TSK ?! Man, when the DMV is a relief from your job, something is wrong. So you're a dyke. :) no, still bi :) You swore off men I stil.l like dick, just dont' really want any right now * Arian bits tongue to avoid being overly crude See, as soon as MJ can get on her knees again, it will all change. ktm: I ate your eel what's your ring size, jill? what? i don't have a penis so much for german. the only place tsk invites me is his bed :( I wanted to say this, but... I can't believe how stiff I am. It just makes no sense. You don't need money, you just need a way with sheep... AGATE, Colo. (AP) -- A volunteer at an exotic animal refuge had her right arm torn off by a Siberian tiger that became startled after she reached her hand into the cage to pet the animal. lesson one: do not kline yourself. IM BORED AND MY PANTS ARE TOO TIGHT DAMMIT i haven't worn a bra in over a week ls -l windows ack I'm going to wet my panties tomorrow i'm sick of smoking pot, bleh Tue Jun 6 16:24:48 PDT 2000 the set up, the SLAM, and da5id is down for the cunt ! count * cooksii doesn't have a gag reflex anyways. * cooksii adjusts her halo around her ankles againl. ``Cable is to the Internet what lightning is to the lightning bug,'' said Jack Valenti, head of the Motion Picture Association of America, at Thursday's hearing. Mr. Valenti said "I don't know" 62 times, "I don't recall" 29 times, and "I'm not aware" 16 times. we had a guy at pyramid who was stupid enough to plug a mac monitor (DB15) into an AUI port on the mac and fizzle pop crack zzzt dead monitor sorry, i'm a bit rusty on mounting places the kitchen table is good. er. i dont' have a kitchen table :( Improvise. last time i did that, i ended up with faucet shaped bruises on my lower back, with the cool knob bruises on the sides too i need an elephant to ride. * dpk looks through older messages from af.mil From: TinkerARSMail Subject: Help Desk Ticket Open Notice Ticket Number TER000000000033, has been "Opened" for problem: OPERATOR ERROR..USER IS MORON...///ABC by the Help Desk. yeah, i checked the headers.. definitely from af.mil Then maybe you'll find this amusing: The Verio newsletter now has summaries of each mail sent to all employees. In case you missed them. I go to funerals, and look for the hot chix with the lace face-covering on. You KNOW she's available. hrm. there is a movie called 'the package' on not what I thought it was about. * tay dissapointed. Tammy in the kitchen - "Wow these are some large breasts, honey!" Stupid Internet rone is running around the house saying "your mind to my mind" in cornholio voice honestly, i'm sitting in #zen answering some guy's questions about the meaning of life. engrams are starting to sound rational. * cookstv noticed how much she swore when the parrot said "fuck you" to piker's mom. hell, in the last week i've driven expensive cars, wore a bra (don't ask), watched girls kiss and strip, etc dull is not the correct word. [on #best] hmmm. will irc.best.net stay online till they merged to verio.net? i mean...do the irc server will stay up? Power supply 1 status: good Power supply 2 status: failed Fan 3 status: failed Fan 4 status: failed Barbara Walters had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. Ms. Walters approached one of the women for an explanation. "This is marvelous," she said. "What enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?" The Kuwaiti woman replied, "Land mines." i can sleep on my stomache. of course i wake up with my tits in my chin, but i can do it! let me swallow first er finish this bite of foods Holy shit, I've never smelled such a rancid dog fart I thinkthere's a bug in Solaris8 xney; i once had a cco developer call me to ask for help debugging his script and the problem was #!/usr/local/bin/pearl (i'm not kidding) root@chuegen-sun:28:/usr/src/bind-9.0.0rc1#ls -l bin/dig/nslookup -rwxr-xr-x 1 root other 6444328 Jul 13 12:50 bin/dig/nslookup JESUS H. CHRIST The closest thing to a woman I have in my life is the melons I have in the fridge. i just ate reid! uhhhh i just ate, reid man i wish i could give myself oral SHOW ME YOUR TITS oops we found some that were 1 1/2" that seemed larger than the ones i'd seen no this are the kind you put in your mouth It's Usenet. I can do anything. fuck I just had to take apart my entire keyboard.. every key, and clean Daemon: why? due to a plumbing problem.. no figure that out.. ;) haha this guy on leno just said "when I'm out, i cheet on my wife.. but she doesn't know" and leno goes "you are much to smart for that right?" at the end he goes "can i use you on tv?" and the guy goes "sure!" I was expecting something much bigger wjr client quote, "Well, we were running https on 80 and http on 443....they're all the same thing after all.." *smack* i spend time on it so i can pick up women! and men too i used steve's handcuff to hold my shorts on * brent through with online/irk chix :P Mon Jul 31 23:29:38 PDT 2000 you know, the concert tonight reminded me how much i like to watch fat white trash chicks dancing. it makes me want to run up and smell them ready made for jerry springer, i tell ya <_Irish_> The suggestion of beauty is often more enticing than its raw state Irish: true... gaping snatch shots arnt exactly the best I cannot belive I just said 'gapign snatch' in mixed company I spent like 5 years beating off to green bar paper ASCII pr0n I still sorta wood up at the sigh of a line printer dude, if you squit, it was JUST LIKE ALMOST SEEING HER squint My idea of "roughing it" is "no readily available connectivity faster than dialup". * jimmie27 is nekkid and alone with the two p's.. persiscam and playboy tv we have a customer in central america running our equipment in a non-airconditioned room.. they are afraid if they install A/C that the locals will break into the office to get into the cool air I did Tsk i don't need to go to a party to get laid, i have my boyfriend in a drawer upstairs i have an 11" but at GC we had 10" ones but that's it <_Melody_> moogle, coming to dinner? <_Melody_> bring your bf :) <_Melody_> err <_Melody_> gf *** Signoff: sara (Local kill by sara (ghost)) I've tried uploading images. How can a name be invalid? If I name a photo, that's it's name correct? I have a Macintosh..is that a problem? real user mail *** drGonzo has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to THE FIRST RULE OF PHISHER'S PENIS, YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT PHISHER'S PENIS. "I'm not sure it's actually possible to become friends with a British teenage guy. His idea is to to ask two questions . . . and then feel entitled to stick his tongue down your throat." W Fifteen-year-old Mary-Catherine Lader, daughter of the U.S. ambassador to Britain, assessing British boys in an article in Tatler magazine. "I have an assignment on medieval music for school. I visited your web site, but I did not have the time to search for the stuff I need. Please send me everything you can on medieval music." That's one smart kid. Wohoo..I am playing with myself and I finally beat it mcse: microsoft certified solitaire expert mine's the size of a quarter exactly mine too If you both enjoy it, then what is the problem? It doesn't matter if it is a little strange, whatever works for you! Oh hell, wrong window sorry!!! we lost the vibrator last night it sucked. I've finally gotten over my shyness of asking people for sex, and now I've discovered that so far they all say 'no' anyways, so maybe it wasn't worth getting up the courage to ask. ask? you mean, you walk up to total strangers and say "Excuse me. Can we screw later, or should i just rent a video?" But the biker chick said no. She said I won brownie points for finally getting up the courage to ask, but that she wouldn't have sex with me. I don't think the brownie points are redeemable for valuble prizes, either. this is great... we now have two printers, one called "apfinance" and the other "apfinanc" [talking about madbomber's exploits] madbomber's penis is a regular ellis island na my penis is more like.. alcatraz mike: what, it quarantines all the diseases coming from overseas? madbomber: unused for yearS? that's too bad :/ * MaHacker sticks her finger in xney oops i meant to say, "in xney's mouth" DONT DISS MIcHAEL JACKSON ok wrong channel <_Mikey_> who wants to go to exodus with me later? can we blow shit up? hehe.. looking for domain names. i wrote a program which reads www.news.com and www.zdnet.com and similar crap sites and puts together random consonant/vowel combinations based on it. it's pretty lame ;) dpk has too much free time eeigoua.com avail eeigoua.net avail eeigouanet.com avail get it while its hot is that a cat5 in your pants or are you happy to see tsk? <_Mikey_> Erotic is using a feather, kinky is using the whole chicken. <_Mikey_> so are you gonna date me or not? uh no i will not date you, you scare the living shit out of me. [talking about visiting a girl's house] oh but i still messed up karl :) you did? like i went there around 2am to drop off some stuff for janine and i'm talking to her on the phone and i'm like "ok i'm here, come outside and get the papers" and she's like "no its cold out, come inside" and i was like "ok, but my car is running i cant' be long" then when her dad woke up at 6am we went downstairs to get something from her car and i find my car still running outside i'm like "oh crap" with the lights on and everything :( Why did God invent women? Answer: Because Sheep can't cook. [talking to Xney] if she sees a chick, i'd say she'd be sitting on mj's face before you even say hi :) no man in here is keeping it up for hours on end I'd rather have my 30 seconds of QUALITY sex are we keeping it small? it thinks -6 is a flag hm, i wonder what fag that means * RoadRuner is good (in bed) they were going to take me into a whore house, bvut the guys at the door wouldn't let us in <_Mikey_> no wonder my shift key sticks. it's gonna get 10 times that size in a minute if it wasn't for yahoo chat, i'd never get laid. gimme beanie penis, or gimme death xney: stay away from my woman! or i'll lay my Latin vengeance upon thee. rone: ezekiel ? ezequiel, sure. all i did with marcus was get a case of the giggles * marcus has a small one too I just got this webvan.com ad, it starts out: "Welcome to Webvan.com, where you are first in line. How about shopping at a market where you always come first?" if KrON can "flex" his ass, I wouldn't wanna go near it anyway cooks: 2 or more in 1 night, 5 or more in a week, and 8 in a year whoring is gender independant altho even if it were just 1 horse a night that'd be really wrong. I can't measure up to a horse :( * cooks crosses xney off her "to do" list. cooks: :( sorry.. I guess I am "a good size" did i look like i had problems eating dem? I got these boxer shorts from Zeus the band says "Godlike Performance" MY COLON, IT IS BOLD "What kind of car goes 100 mph in 1st gear?" "Any rental car." i wish i had a girl roommate so i could borrow her clothes [10:34AM] jimmie: irix in latin means "owned" world.anarchy.com <-- is that a plubib host? what's a plubib? .... plubib? and where can i get one? a what? yah if it is plubic i wanan get one *** een_ (irene@adsl-63-200-58-69.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net) has joined channel #best een has a boner yeah, jealous? no, just impressed. ohyeah baby i wanna cover you in CHEESE oops. wrong window. I want the full thing i'm not sure that it's odd. it's a normal symptom of a monolithic organization that's grown too big. not unlike the linux kernel. dont swallow so much then 24468 www 1 10 0 73M 72M cpu0 3:58 46.74% python a mailing list that has 3000+ administrative requests pending thanks to some retard spammer. i haven't been able to stop touching my tits all day like you could get me in to bed :P why would i need to get you into bed? i have high speed internet at home sigh...everyone is doing double penetration midget amputee amateur webcams now...i remember when it used to be fresh and exclusive! THOSE WERE THE DAYS! you can be the bigest bitch in the world, but if you clean your toilet with yappy toy poodles, you're alright by me -driz:$*.dal.net- My apologies to all of you who were just accidentally K: lined from twisted.*. It was an accident, and the problem has been fixed. -> *driz* you just messaged about 60,000 people and bots can you make a cisco route packets based on their source address? marcus: yes. policy-based routing marcus - yes, using policy routing marcus: yes. policy routing anyone else? marcus: yes. policy routing hrm. i think i need to start taking my life more seriously Sun Nov 26 23:47:55 PST 2000 (talking about Austin, TX) to quote a former #tz person (try), "the chicks down here are so hot they end up fucking each other" : [staff] disks moved around on pinky karl: i read that dicks moved around on pinky And the rules of Golf have changed. Instead of saying "Fore!" you say "Gore!" and get to retake the shot until you get it right. Please do not come to my cube in search of assistance in the future. It would be unprofessional of me to ignore you outright, and this creates too much personal stress. would it be bad to put that in an email? Try AOL 6.0 With Our Best Offer Yet -- Up To 700 Hours FREE In A Month! Sign Up NOW! demit: a few lesbians proposed to me so they could move to canada if bush won. you would think lesbians would LIKE bush why? oh bush, haha 18 inches would be nothing here:) "Computer games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids, we'd all run around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music..." marcus.. you just described a Rave so i called pacbell the guy anwswered "how can i make this the best call of your day" i said "it already is... i'm cancelling my pacbell service" 902: SLOT 6:5w3d: BATMAN error cause (0x0000087E) my last 2 serious gf's were 5"11 & 6"1 Both were fucken psycho... so I came to the conclusion that women can't handle the altitude over 5"9 i need some new high heels you can use .. uh i cant remember the name... on log files for analysis.. and its free Xney so we can do it on the bed like last time i was doing more sideways pushing than anything... note to self: www.manpages.com is NOT an online resource to get *nix man pages Newsgroups: comp.sys.sun.admin One of my junior sa's performed the following incantation: 'chown -R user /' Oh GOD how fucking lame, you need the CD to uninstall Visio and it's at work. big cock erm that ws a bad mischan *** xyst is now known as Caeser * Caeser Marcus Aurelius *** Signoff: Caeser (Killed (irc.exodus.net (irc.lightning.net(xyst) <- irc.total.net[ali.total.net]))) Your mouse has moved, Windows NT (tm) needs to be restarted in order for this change to take effect. Reboot now? [Y] i just had a cock in my mouth. i knew i sholdnt have said it after i hit return So cooksii is a transvestite. naw, efudd. i went to AAMCO. they fix trannies. Motherboard Temp Voltages 255C / 491F / 528K Vcore1: +3.984V Vcore2: +3.984V er uhhh uhhhhhhh bleh.. time to work on the resumeRead from remote host ennui.org: Connection reset by peer Connection to ennui.org closed. thanks xney. I will NOT be some man's fuck toy. [blakboot(blakboot@gateway.sektor1.org)] I'm a gay transexual, and I'm in the process of finding your home. comment on mir.. they are unable to bring it down right now due to power problems.. Dennis Miller said "Great, these assholes don't even have the technology to CRASH the damn thing." -Xney:$irc.best.net- one of our core routers is being rebooted in 10 minutes, except network outages -Xney:$irc.best.net- er, expect -Xney:$irc.best.net- All people making fun of me will be K lined -Xney:$irc.best.net- you can try to stay on, it'll probably wedge for a few minutes.. it will be back soon after that -Xney:$irc.best.net- for those of you who are best customers, no, it's not just irc -Xney:$irc.best.net- If I'm unlucky, the router will burst into flames and I"ll die a horrible death -Xney:$irc.best.net- If I'm lucky, our customer base will burst into flame and die a horrible death -Xney:$irc.best.net- And if god really hates me, I'll wake up as a network tech support flunkie -Xney:$irc.best.net- Oh wait, I am one -Xney:$irc.best.net- Oh well, here I go to slay the evil router.. but instead of a maiden as a reward, I'll get a beer :( [yes, this is quoting myself.. but I found it in somebody else's quote page and it cracks me up.. sue me] CNN headline: "Quick drug use improves heart attack survival chances" "Smoke this crack... HURRY!" *** Signoff: frash (Local kill by MagicMon ((Auto-Kill) links looker)) in the event of a tie, breast size wins. :-) i like anything with tit's and a pulse. /bin/laden * callas likes a man with a smooth nutsaq hahah. these guys have a dedicated oracle server... an e3500 with 4 cpus and 4gb of RAM they've had it for 2 years now doing nothing but oracle with oracle configure to use no more than 128MB of ram and recently they've been complaining about performance they thought maybe they needed more memory i was like "uhhh. your dataset is smaller than physical ram" did u no that boredom has bedroom as its anagram? * Xney doesn't remember irene having a penis a lot has changed in a year um jayson: hurry..elephant female in heat..elephant sex alert (methamp) Does any one here recommend a SNMP daemon so I can gather stats from my router in use with MRTG? British scientists have concluded a study indicating that penguins who cran their necks skyward to watch human aircraft pass overhead do not lose their balance and topple over. The study took five weeks and consisted of 17 carefully-observed flights of helicopters over King Penguin colonies in Antarctica. AT LEAST IT'S NOT US TAX DOLLARS doc: thats what you think. mel: id fuck you if you can get me ken@hotmail or kh@, kmh@ or even boii@ id eat you out. * MaHacker must behave now rone is here * MaHacker goes to sit in the corner again you want these manacles back? * __Mikey__ gives relationship advice to a 17 y/o girl <__Mikey__> *sigh* <__Mikey__> <__Mikey__> ya know that mythology dude that is forever pushing the rock up the hill? :) <__Mikey__> <__Mikey__> visualize yourself in his place stuck between a rock and a hard place? sorry.. couldn't resist XDice's definition of a sensitive guy #12d: Putting your woman's vibrator on UPS (if it doesn't tak batteries.) what does EFD stand for again? <_Mikey_> Electro Fag Discharge <_Mikey_> that's whne you get shocked by touching a gay man. Seems as how he got 'AnnaKournikova.jpg.vbs' and he double clicked on it. Windows compalined because it didn't have the Visual Basic command interpreter installed. So what did he do ? He went to Microsofts web page, downloaded it, installed the VBS module.... so he could see the AnnaKournikova.jpg.vbs!!! i dunno, once you have the ballgag on em, it all works out ok. life aint nothin but bitches, money, and root. well they're pretty big, and i figure it's just gonna be us 3 prolly er i hate hangovers they give me a headach how nice. the last time the ants swarmed, they got into the vents. the last blast of ventilation just deposited 6 dead flying ants on my keyboard. "bitches, money, and root." *** Notice -- K-line active for AllYour *** Notice -- K-line active for BaseAre *** Notice -- K-line active for Belong2Us * depresso falls over those were actual klines that just poped up on my screen I'm plugging and yanking, so I can't keep up with your incessant babble. Compaq FAQ: Where is the ANY Key? (FAQ2859) This is not a key. When you are instructed to press any key, this means you can press any of the keys on the keyboard (such as the Enter key, the R key, or the space bar). I have always wanted to be dominated er I need to think before I type my desk is sticky ha, my dba is funny, he just got back from the doctor's for a physical and he says, "It was kinda weird, cos.. it was a female doctor. and I was naked. pretty fun though," ok, on KSJO today, they were taking calls, looking for the most pussywhipped guy. They found, who I think is. This guy has a girlfriend, who has a phobia about taking a dump. So, she won't go for like, 4 days. When she does, she asks him "Honey, can you come take care of this?" So, dude, goes into the bathroom, and there, in the toilet, is a turd the size of a damned baseball. whipped bastard has to get a BUTTER KNIFE to cut it up, so it'll flush. I laughed my ass off when I heard this. T1 2/1 is up. Applique type is Channelized T1 Cablelength is long gain36 0db Description: Verizon Circuit # 83YBGA265604 (circuit from hell) No alarms detected. like in pornos how the guys smack their ^U er shit ????? hi I AM NOT AN ASSPIRATE er hi santa clara looks like the ghetto this time of year it's "throw all your base out in the street" week s/base/crap * sedriss found an oooold tz quotes page. [FlashMan] nethack is installed [Jon2] An IRC chick stands in your path. She wears a +5 ring of decreased mental stability. * sQurl kicks jon2 [sQurl] I AM STABLE GOD DAMN YOU [sQurl] DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU [Jon2] The IRC chick attacks. She misses. My roommate bought a hair trimmer which he lets me use on my pubes. * Efudd goes to shave his ass tober: you should see my quite vast collection of ducks :D You have a vast collection of ducks? yes sir ducks are my favorite thing in the world :D It depends exactly on how one defines virginity. Depeneding on exactly how you define things, either I'm a virgin or I've had sex precisely once. Okay, now y'all can make fun of me. I mean I do know how to play, use a cue and suck.... such...I didnt mean suck i also need to be fsck'd wait that didn't sound good *** Signoff: naughTay (Killed (Scott (tay pertekt))) Xney you couls alwaays ask carolyn to do you for lunch do lunch with you getting your own AS: $250 setting up your own network: $100k having your upstream forward your stupid request to NANOG: priceless Dear Peers/Colleagues, We will start to announce a new prefix: AS13197 192.168.0.0/16 Please update your filters. Thanks, Reinder van Amerongen, Junior. System/Network Adminstrator and Senior Cabling consultant. i want someone to serve me - [MS Word window] "Dear world, I _cant_ take it anymore. I'd" --- "Microsoft - Office Assistant has detected that you're writing a suicide note! What - sort of suicide do you wish to perform?" i don't want to exploit cows... i just want to eat them. I feel like... If I solicited a prostitute, I could offer her 10 times her usual fee and she'd say "Dude. I ain't interested." (I actually have an inflatable sheep...it was a present after many years of joking about them) (I probably still shouldn't have admitted that...) women tend to express fear when they see me naked :\ log: well they're not expecting it in the elevator at the mall *** Signoff: ParaGod (Oh shit, cops at my door!1!!@!!1!1!@!@@1!!) greg: my tool got confused rr: my tool gets confused sometimes too.. happens to everybody xney: this current girl im with said "The first time I meet you I thought you were a really really hot chick" > hahaha haha > did she want you ? :) > while she thought that.. hehe yeah > cool then she was like 'oh your a really hot guy, Ok I still want you' microsoft excel has determined it needs to print out 40,870 rows of blank lines because some idiot put a formula in cell A40xxx VIBRATE GODDAMN YOU I called my friend a breeder, and he called me an aids basket it was the highlight of my morning I just remembered beefcake he was this one idiot that actually listend to what I said. He wanted to make his modem go faster then 28.8, told him that it had to do with condensation on the phoneline that made it go faster. To unplug the line, stick it in his mouth, and use another phoneline to call it...when it rings you will know that the line goes faster actually fell for it..apearantly after he picked himself up off the ground, he comes back online to cuss me out and tell me that it didnt' work..but that he blackedout for afew seconds and something smelled like it was burning conan has a dog that screws blow up dolls (with richard simmons heads too) watch this weekends talk soup tsk: I eat bacon, hamburger, cheese, heavy whipping cream, etc frash on one sandwich? wow crys just told me "I still have a bruise from fucking jered" when i was drunk in college Rogue_F used to abuse me If I shave then I'll look like I'm 15. :P chuegen@pearl:167:~>su - Password: Yes, but which self do you want to be? I love fortune From: "Lim Seng Chor" tober, freebsd-security@freebsd.org Cc: freebsd-question@freebsd.org Subject: freebsd rootkit Organization: Sepang Institute of Technology X-mailer: Pegasus Mail for Win32 (v3.12c) hi, any idea where can i find freebsd rootkit? thanks. : ) hahaha i entertained you enough friday night, Xney ACK that didn't come out right just got to call a security guy at my company a 'weak-stick scriptkiddie' he was claiming that being able to download a zone file was a security hole, since people like me weren't supposed to know how to use named-xfer (?) ARRRCH i told a guy at work where to find a password for a server so he finds it then fucking privmsg's it to me on irc "is this it?" oh man i got my ass whipped last night literaly strippers at my stag stripped me to my underwear and whipped me with my own belt > did you like it? talk about adding insult to injury dude it was ok till i was dumb and asked them to go harder > haha i think the one chick wetted the belt and then whipped me again the pain was equisite i felt like i was in a hell raiser movie nbothing cas be more frusustrating than tryig to type shell commands to kill a projcess while drunk o feel sobver but i really do think of myself as a female now...since the operation it's not THAT big i'm sitting here wondering why i'm so wet...it's all this licking i need to tie my hands behind my back thank god i'm a country boy! thank god i'm a pubic hair! *** Tskk has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to its my duty as an irc oper to always be idle #twilight_zone has services. EFnet does not. :) i dream of a big cock too bad i don't know anyone who has one i only date straight men. [nyt@dp1:~]: telnet katnap.org 113 Trying 127.0.0.1... Connected to dp1. Escape character is '^]'. 0 , 0 0 , 0 : ERROR : NO-USER Connection closed by foreign host. server prolly timed out connecting * Efudd names his new firewall box "cannabis" It's a gateway box! To Other Bad Networks. *** demit has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to tober you're not gay by any chance, are you? cause i think you would get along with this guy i know really well. *** milli has been kicked off channel #twilight_zone by boii (how did a girl get in here without giving me head.) (06/12/01, after playing with firewall configs) cabal# Message from azrael@cabal.anarchy.com on ttyp1 at 18:14 ... _ _ _ _ _ (_)_ __ | |_ _ __ _ _ __| | ___ _ __ __ _| | ___ _ __| |_ | | '_ \| __| '__| | | |/ _` |/ _ \ '__| / _` | |/ _ \ '__| __| | | | | | |_| | | |_| | (_| | __/ | | (_| | | __/ | | |_ |_|_| |_|\__|_| \__,_|\__,_|\___|_| \__,_|_|\___|_| \__| EOF ok first thing we do is get rid of all opers excellent! then we get rid of netsplits *** Signoff: log (Killed (Mat (#1))) All sysadmins should understand networking!@#!@#!@ Angelina is the only female that if god forbid my i got brain damage and became a lesbian i would do Jesus, the other day some kid said to me "I want to get my girlfriend pregnant so I don't have to worry about getting her pregnant for 9 or so months afterwards.." * golightly wet I just gave MS $9 so I could download XP and it said "Thanks for your order" and took me back to the XP homepage...HOW DO I DOWNLOAD?! I've been on IRC too long.. I said "laugh" in conversation earlier today. *Realistic* HOw can I become an IRC operation oops wrong window. $ /me coughs up a loogie, smokes it, and gets high. bash: /me: No such file or directory oh. my fucking god. I just went through the lobby at Exodus to go get my lunch from the fridge. I put my badge up to open the door, and a little 13 year old kid saw my badge and said "Oh, you're RYAN from the webpage!" i don't believe this double-D dicolletage woah now thats a mouthful Police believe an American woman whose remains were recently unearthed in Malaysia was used as a human sacrifice in a ritual to obtain lottery numbers from the spirits, newspapers reported. you probably caught a disease just by /nick farlowing I suffered a Distributed Denial of Sex last night mail1 procmail[15005]: Error while writing to "/dev/null" on my mail server at cisco screen -r oops, already did that. I think I'll shower and go to the store and see if any meat makes me hot. yea I know, once you've had penis you just can't go back.. even anne heche proved that one anyone heard of "OpenView" ? I tried on my sister's bra... it was refreshing. I feel like a bullrider 8 seconds 8 seconds!! hey, i'm honest. * Efudd got laid last wk though really? what was her name? or do you know? Did you have to pay this time? 220 ready, dude (vsFTPd 0.9.0 (BETA): beat me, break me) I think I like that.. on the package for a rowenta iron it says; DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY. on a korean kitchen knife: WARNING, KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. ha ha, from fuckedcompany: "Justballs.com, the site that received $13 million in funding last January to sell balls on the Internet (yes, i'm serious), has changed their name to Affinity Sports Solutions. So... now I suppose they're "JustBalls and A.S.S." Around 200 people were laid off from Storage Networks. Rumor has it, it costs them $8 to maintain their customer's storage infrastructures for every $1 their customer gives them. Wooohoo! When: 7/20/2001 Company: Storage Networks I have th is 14yr old hitting on me HARD "Don't you wish I was older?" to which i said "Don't you wish YOU were older?" she's fucking -hot- pervert :P really sucks i'm not a perv.... i'm 24.. she's goddamn hot... im not a perv im 39 shes 8 shes fucking hot? is that sort of what you are saying fudd? McExodus, get a Happy Meal with a free stock certificate. Collect all 5! What is this "sex" people keep talking about? It sounds familiar... > hogan: it's what you did with missi before you got married Ohhhhhhh I remember that, vaguely! > she doesn't our new senior unix sysadmin can't change the ip address on a sun workstation. man we had a japanese customer tell us she hadn't had a date in 8 years and that she "had forgotten how to do it!" of course her English was bad, but still it cracked me up she was trying to say she had forgotten how to go on a date Did you still have your pants on? U.S. Couple Sues Over Flaming Pop-Tart - Report PHILADELPHIA (Reuters) - The popular breakfast pastry Pop-Tarts has become a burning legal issue in New Jersey. The Philadelphia Inquirer reported on Saturday that a New Jersey couple are suing the Kellogg Co. for $100,000 in damages caused to their home when an unattended Pop-Tart allegedly burst into flames inside their toaster. A Kellogg spokesman declined to comment on the lawsuit but told the Inquirer that the cereal maker's products were safe and do not cause fires. ``I never thought a Pop-Tart could turn into a blowtorch,'' Hurff's attorney, Mauro Casci, told the newspaper. Wow. People are utterly fucking stupid. i had my foot on the mouse Government inspectors will be all over a suburban New York hospital Tuesday, two days after a six-year-old boy died after being struck by an oxygen canister that got sucked into an MRI machine as he was undergoing an exam. Westchester Medical Center said the oxygen tank had been accidentally "introduced into the exam room" while the exam was being conducted. The tank was "immediately magnetized" and flew through the air "to the center of the machine, causing head trauma to the child," the medical center said in a news release. In Rochester, N.Y., last year, an MRI magnet yanked a .45-caliber gun out of the hand of a police officer, and the gun shot a round that lodged in a wall. my dog was just attempting telekinesis cooking is so much fun thats why women should be proud its their job. cuz its fun, ya know i see it like this God made women to cook, and he made it fun for them so to compensate, cuz us guys dont get to cook he makes women clean too it balances out mmmmmm hairy-stomached fat chicks... we're passing a pr0n store on the way home and my mom reads "BIG SALE -- $10.00 off previewed" and says "i don't think i'd want to touch a previously viewed tap"...then she's like "think about it...no WAIT...DON'T think about it!" I AM SHIFTLESS i read that as SHIRTLESS * Tolim still anal enough to correct typos tho unlike some people on here :p you mean though? * tober gets down on his knees in front of tay and oinks obligingly well, that's not true, I always seem to hit it on the desk when I come up for air... kinda distracts chris *** Signoff: Schrade (oh god.. it's karl.) i am 32 flavours and then some... and i gotta keep rubbing my boobs cuz it makes it feel better... >:| I need a sql monkey! you rikey sql? speaking of my recruiting, why is it that HR loves the biggest morons? "this person is FAN-TASTIC!" and I talk to them for 5 minutes and wonder if the rocks in their head keep them up at night. I went to olive garden today And ordered a pina colada But I said "can I get a Vagina Pina Colada" And the waitress looked at me Vagina pina colada = virgin pina colada :| She looked at me hella weird mmmm penis i mean coffee sure you do... <-- just got accused of trying to be a human bra if Katnipp liked trance, i'd send this track to her ;) wtf are you tlaking about? i'm asian i LOVE trance Yeah, I remember when my boss' wife had computer problems...she asked me to go over and help fix it, she wasn't seeing anything on the screen and has rebooted, checked the connections, etc...so I go over there And the monitor wasn't turned on. Her excuse? "Oh, I never turn it off so I didn't think to check that." actually last night I got to whip her er OPMFG my shift key got stuck And I just opened 100 progs How do you spell Canada? C ehh? N eh? D eh? anyone have another idea of how to switch from one hard drive to another? cpio made a recursive /mnt/mnt/mnt/mnt/mnt.... until it filled up the hard drive and i didn't notice this until after i switched hard drives :P Yeah, tay's had sex with tsk, so she should know * Tsk nods excuse me? * tober adds an edge to the efnet sex chart tay and i fuck like bunnies Man my hot pocket blew up in the microwave The company doesn't understand how to poke holes in it Omg My sister took a shit and left the door open OmFG bash-2.04$ cat /etc/passwd | /bin/grep -i cls cls:x:1042:1000:cls:/disk5/cls:/bin/bash bash-2.04$ cat /etc/passwd | /bin/grep -i disk5 cat: /etc/passwd: No such file or directory id say this box be in trubba From: robby@bluesky.com To: Subject: attention time travelers and aliens Date: Sat, 25 Aug 2001 18:28:19 If you are an alien disguised as human and or have the technology to travel physically through time I need your help! My life has been severely tampered with and cursed by a very evil women of my past. I need to be able to: Travel physically back in time. Rewind my life including my age. Be able to remember what I know now so that I can prevent my life from being tampered with again after I go back. I am in great danger and need this immediately! Only if you are an alien or have this technology please send me a separate email to: core0139@aol.com Thanks Gonna get a starter castle next to tay'n'comstud's? practice safe sex...lift with your legs not your back do you KNOw how hard it is to get hard on with someone wearing 'I <3 Paragod' on their boxers ? (in Counter-Strike game) *DEAD*[cL]XSn1p3RX : my headphoones were on backwards *DEAD*[cL]XSn1p3RX : i was like wtf how is he shooting on the other side of that wall Co-workers on our internal IRC server are mocking Ellen. please help me! why do you all hate me :-( *sniffle* EH was kicked off #exodus by N8 (N8) sorry EH, you don't work here no mo. *az0* i was hopping channels looking for someone, and got hit on -> *az0* haha by a girl or guy? *az0* 38/m/kentucky -> *az0* you stud *az0* i feel so violated -> *az0* you're wearing your leather pants, I bet * kitten pounces on oli mm, lesbian action. Oh. haha. * Xney3 looks at john Dude. Olivier isn't a chick. Yeah, I know. I read wrong. > 100 of near-perfect gorl. gord GOLD arg 100 lbs even damn i suck at this typing shit =( exds dropped 14 cents? exds has 14 cents to drop? yeah pre-sales systems engineer ~= prostitute hey i was a sales engineer elek and your point? <--- points to halo see I'm good Tasia: that's not a halo! that's a cock ring! this new keyboard is going to kill me. I was trying to kill a process and kill -9 1 killed the box (went to hit the delete key to change the pid and it changed on me) [12:04AM] canada has a rich history of being an aditional division + for some other countries military [12:07AM] i like it but you think canada is better because it is not + in the position to either be expected to react or the ability to + independantly react to a situation I do strange things in bed ARGH!!!! MS and REAL are fighting for control of my other machine and won't let me do anything while it happens! ARRGHH!!!!. Real player and MS Media player are both trying to play the audio cd, and if I kill one, it comes back, they keep fighting for it, argh!!!! make it stop!!! argh! > MR IP MASTER : OURS FIREWALLS WERE DETECTING A LOT OF TRYINGS TO VIOLATE > THE SECURITY OF OURS SYSTEMS FROM THE NEXT IP UNDER YOUR DOMAIN > ADMINISTRATOR > > WE WAIT FOR AN INMEDIATLY SOLUTION When asked what he thought about Fred Durst being such a fan of Tool, Maynard replied with: "if the lunch-lady in high school hits on you, you appreciate the compliment, but you're not really gonna start dating the lunch-lady, are ya?" *** rone is now known as crack| heh. what the heck is an "Etrade daily show"? you rip your pants off, then sit in a bucket of ice water. ahh. well, then that's nothing new. now, if it were a Flash-enhanced Etrade daily show... [talking about almost getting arrested at car dealership] I tried to pay for getting my van fixed with a stolen credit card. They didn't think it was funny. I had to get new cards, my old ones were compromised. Bank of America listed my new ones as stolen and left my old ones active. I suspect that in a few years, the low level of Usenet service provided by many ISPs will lead to laws which require them to maintain some minimum service level. hahahahahahaahhaha fsck just segfaulted this is not good. Oh, you'll like this... my wife's school now has Special Ed kids doing the sysadmin jobs. Free pork: Good. Dead TiVo: Bad. uh oh. stupid me, waiting until the warranty was expired to crack the case and back up the hard drive. So the hard drive dies. i'd mock you, but the challenge is gone. <_Will> after I got back from living in taiwan for a 1 1/2 years I went to visit a good friend of mine - when he showed me his roomate's 10 ft python <_Will> I got hungry <_Will> THAT'S when I knew I had been in asia TOOOOOO long just use OWA * csm runs owa ? outlook web access AM FEK N))B *** Signoff: csm (Killed (frash (Mercy Killing))) I swear.. if you read karls quotefile, I end looking like a real goober frash: hahaha well who's fault is that? the quote maker, or the quote taker? ;)) wait, are not you a real goober? i was in chelsea wiht my best friend and this guy smiled said want to come to a party and handed me a fliar and i was like oh hell yeah im hot i look at the flyer its for a gay party he was smiling at my friend shawn my ego was deflated for months. mm preteen er I've met some pretty damn fast chicks. Er. Fast on motorcycles. we found another snake in myoffice today snake? I was in a meeting with one of my peer managers looked up, saw a baby black snake looking at me [09:01PM] ask prex [09:01PM] hey, loph, lisa is available now [09:01PM] she dumped my ass for playing truth or dare in a hotel room in san antonio with three hookers [09:02PM] yeah, i drunk dialed her ass from their hotel room erogenous what's that? sexually arousing Do you consider your anus (or anuses) an erogenous zone? ack ok # wc -l fucklist 14 umm. You've done it with 14 guys? i think all of the people with above X IQ should constitute the voting population from which they vote for a dictator to run the country unconditionally then you can groom your population until theres nothin but goodies left! "You're IQ must be at least |----| long to enter this country" "Your", HTH ;) [16-Oct:20:36] -> *spiacente* Actually, I'm neither a loser, or ugly as fuck. Then again, you -are- trolling from AOL. [16-Oct:20:37] -> *spiacente* Yes, it is. And you have a dick up your ass with someone else pulling the strings. * Efudd fun fun fun so he knows you? jeff, you suck. > Sometimes a girl just needs to kick/knee a guy in the nuts. If you are > that girl, and you happen to be in the Los Angeles area, then I am > that guy. <^Bear> heh <^Bear> rone: i thought you were going to stay way from the personal ads. no comment. will liv tyler show her boobies? that's what i want to know. "the elven rack" some chinese herbalist dude looked at kim's tongue, declared she was running low on blood, and prescribed dong quai. so, she'll give that a shot. I'm not sure I'd take anything called dong quai so give it a German name. I'm going to take the high road and not mention xney eating Cream of Sum Yung Gai. That's very kind of you. I'm all about the high brow humor. dem: they still let you on the high road? Hey, it's even multicultural... i have never seen one too big too grasp with one hand oh boobs "Postal Workers Angry" -- "Only postal workers are allowed +to kill postal workers" farlow has now pasted his oper password into a public channel, had me change it in the configs, and then did it AGAIN with the new one! vi ircd.conf dd :wq :) oper farlow C4bl36uy err shit RYAN Oh my fucking god hahahha hahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahha lol FUCK YOU ALL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH Rather: I'm Defying Terrorists by Not Being Tested for Anthrax CBS News anchorman Dan Rather says he's standing up to terrorists by refusing to be tested for anthrax or take antibiotics even though the deadly germ was found in his office. HEY. I CAN BE PERKY, DAMMIT. I'M GENERALLY QUITE PLEASANT. there are chiropractors that say they can cure epilepsy with cervical manipulation i don't uynderstand what a cervix has to do with epilepsy callas: CERVICAL VERTEBRAE UA male flight attendent in the downstairs galley (747-200) pressed the wrong extension on the interphone handset and announced to the whole aircraft: "Dianne? Dianne! I've just dropped all the fucking first class steaks." if that wasn't enough... Apparently later, when asked what she'd like for her meal, a little old lady (who was in F) said, "I think I'd like one of those fucking first class steaks!" i kinda fucked up my box (i chmod'd /usr to 744) and i cant su anymore to root. Is there a way to fix this? suck...blow...still gets ya off ;) ack Xney is gonna be in a Pacbell ad next year. they'll quote him "Their customer service is shit. Their incompetence is amazing." and condense it to "Their customer service is... amazing." i'm gonna get a tattoo of strawberry shortcake holding a heart that says "paige" !%#! damnit steal my idea :( * marcus goes off to think about elek and paige errrr shower bbl * rodney tries to register paigesucks.com but someone already beat him to it. HEY! remember in school? remember the kids upside down stuffed into the garbage can? 20 years later, ircops. do the math hah...I dated a lot in highschool and was known as a slut by other girls...LOL...fuck them :) But I have never had sex with anyone but my husband ack tigger that was to you Yeah, I just got naked and...well...it went *thud* on the floor. alrighty then * aah just had one hell of a visual i don't wanna know about your constipation, hogan. * Stemish- copies data around in preparation to nuke 4.4-stable from orbit it's the only way to be sure. <[RP]TonyMontana> wtf is shotgun wedding???? <[RP]TonyMontana> ??:( girl = pregnant, dad = shotgun get it? [CatnMouse left her Colts "rally monkey" (a silver and blue monkey puppet) at my house after football on the weekend...] -> *CatnMouse* by the way, you left your monkey here.. and I spanked it a bit *CatnMouse* UGH!!!!!!!!!! -> *CatnMouse* ugh? *CatnMouse* my poor violated monkey!! -> *CatnMouse* I already violated him when you were here, remember? -> *CatnMouse* I was just giving him what he asked for *CatnMouse* bullshit! it goes from "i dont want you on my internet" to "fuck you you abusive asshole" to "hey can i have an I:line?" * log boggles Of course, in the kiddies mind that is completely rational. "hurry up" yeah i'm really confused. was i like that when i was new? back in my day we had to build our own servers to get I:lines and we liked it I'm all hot and sweaty maybe i have you tied too tight? I knew I shouldnt have added binary groups to your feed omg my kitten is playing with my bullwhip "Hillary Rosen, CEO of the RIAA?, spoke at length (PDF of Speech) yesterday, during the 'O'Reilly Peer to Peer and Web Services conference'. From what I can surmise, the speech dealt both with her love of money and her desire to roll around naked in a pile of money" heh heh.. man.. the dorky guy here, mr. p/t cruiser, buy-a-bride, et al... one of the guy's here is dating a girl who went on a double-date with mr. character and has some funny stories. do tell. apparently this girl was out with a bunch of friends, and Mr. Character shows up with some girl he had taken out 2 or 3 times.. so they're drinking and whatnot at a bar, and Mr. Character's date loudly asks, "Are you SURE you're not gay?" ..apparently that was the last time they saw that girl. ha ha that guy.. man.. every time I hear something new about him, it tops the previous stuff. it's amazing. When your dates are asking you if you're gay, wow... I don't think I'm likely to have that problem. Heh. todd: what kills me is that the had went out with her a few times already. so she musta really been intrigued by his gayness. ha ha. could be. either way.. asking a guy that, and then asking it in front of a buch of others.. damn.. that rules. oh, also: he was interviewed in some "dating life" type magazine on how hard it is to meet "the right woman" in silicon valley. ha ha ha ha. dem: They interviewed HIM? todd: some how, yes. about how he had spent $5000 on dating services, with nothing to show for it. "Creepy losers say it's hard to find chicks!" he really rules beyond all ruling. oh, apparently his buy-a-bride marriage is "rocky" because of "culture and language issues" - heh heh. I tell ya, he just tops himself day after day after day. Um I dont know anyone in the world who really does cum in their girlfriends' face tskk; i dont think its a girlfriend thing <_Will> Jayson - it used to be - "pinch me so I know I'm awake" Now it's "pierce me so I know I'm alive" *** MaHacker has changed the topic on channel #best to Happy Birthday Rone, you old man! *** Signoff: rone (Ping timeout: no data for 242 seconds) you killed rone! you bastard! some luser calls me up: "My virtual drive is full and my outlook says the shortcut cannot be found!" translation: "windows ran out of virtual memory, and double-clicking the VPN dial up icon generated a not found error." I don't even know where "outlook" came into the picture. Maybe software authors should make the error messages really long and detailed so they require more attention to read/relay. dem: your users rock They're like retarded children. It's hard to work up any real hatred for them. in other news, microsoft today said that to simplify the user experience it was replacing *all* error messages with the polite, friendly "i hurt. fix please." heh. one of the machines in the training room is broken, someone affixed a piece of paper on the monitor with "I am not everything I need to be. Please choose another workstation." written on it. ooh. i like that. ...I guess that is also a subtle hint that I should fix it. my favorite MS error message happens when I click the "Open Office Document" button in the start menu. It says "An error has occurred and this feature is no longer functioning properly. Would you like to repair this feature now?" If I say yes it tries to reinstall Office but fails. If I say no it opens documents just fine. I bet Harry Potter makes a bank of money this weekend fat bank. hrm, we need a maryjane version of that movie Hairy Pothead: The Sorcerer's Stoned http://www.capalert.com/capreports/harrypottersorc.htm ha ha Harry Potter: 55. Hannibal: 33 the only women who say size doesn't matter are the women who fuck small ones. *** Blue_Dreams is now known as Dreamer * Dreamer loves to dream :) hehe *** Signoff: Dreamer (Killed (omega.ca.us.dal.net ())) -> Police have charged four people for the robbing a Chinese takeaway -> delivery driver. -> But they were caught when officers followed a trail of curry sauce to -> their second floor flat. have i stated how much women suck? thats kind of the point sens i used to think it was just women well women and a good percentage of lightning opers heh comcast has very poor security i called up the other day and i was like "yeah i wanna sign up for comcastonline" "ok, name please? .... phone number?" "your name isn't listed on the account. we need to talk to a peter kubaryk." (who doesn't live here anymore) "*sigh* hold on." (i hold the phone away from my head for a couple seconds) "yep, pete here." "ok, do you want to add any authorized persons to your account?" "yep, greg." "alright thank you, mr kubaryk" "no problem. here's greg again." (hold phone away from head for a couple seconds) weee sold my old laptop to my gf's sister she just called "i got the cable plugged into the network card, but the plug is too big for my telephone jack "Give a man fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life" <_Melody_> our developers are morons arent all developers morons by nature? <_Melody_> steve, looking at a monitoring daemon that we use (the source) <_Melody_> which is in perl <_Melody_> they use about 50 if..elseif..elseif... combos <_Melody_> one huge tree with 50 elseifs HEHHEHEHHEE * _Melody_ phears which one is that or is it an internal one * rodney trades melody his engineers. <_Melody_> log, it's internal <_Melody_> but jesus fucking christ shouldn't they have some kind of select loop? my engineers did yet another 8 way join with 20 million row table scans. <_Melody_> it's simple i'll take your 50 line elseifs any day. fags are a lot like pornography. i know it when i see it. Sometimes my package is accused of being enhanced, but it isn't. it's allllllll natural. The Saudi Ambassador to the U.N. has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he meets his American counterpart. They shake hands and as they walk the Saudi says, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America." The American says "Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you I will do." The Saudi whispers "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there are Russians and Blacks and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset. He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek." The American laughs and leans over. "That's because it takes place in the future." mopi thinks demon is a girl [17:35] * Demon shakes her hiney. case closed. demon is a very ugly girl darkshde: you be nice to .. er.. her! Now THAT is some truth. <[tsn]Govt_Geek> dude, i once made a football player pass out from blowing so well..... Men can enlarge their own penises: all they have to do is lose weight. For every 35 pounds of weight a man carries over his ideal weight, his penis will appear to be 1 inch smaller. Overweight men tend to have fat covering the pubic bone at the base of the penis, making the penis appear smaller. that means i'd have to lose like 140 pounds to have an average size penis everyone go watch 9 Friends and a Ring bwahahahahahahahahah I don't get it. *** Signoff: Tuwanda (Quit: and the cat goes a fiddle i dee) Doen't the cat go meow? last night at the bar my buddy orders a manhattan or something and when he gets the drink, there's a fruit fly floating in it and i'm like "return it" but he's acting all tough "haven't you ever been camping before?" so he picks the fly out and drinks gets to the bottom of the drink there's twelve more that didn't float. ! i laughed so hard <[tsn]Katsumi> Red <[tsn]Katsumi> ! <[tsn]Katsumi> i wann you to play with me.... :\ <[tsn]Katsumi> on cs i mean. dude i dont even like blowjobs !@#!@#!@#!@# my bank account has had a kernel panic i'm going to a bondage party er i mean uh i'm going to a small informal get together yeah thats it head is an important part of any relationship I think sex is my primary motiviation for anything these days I saw a cute shirt today chick wearing a tanktop that said "ISP's Full Racks" Im a man for true lesbians dykes who like the right parts :) tober is not completely unlike a wumpus hehehaha "my mom has kicked the crap outta me all my life. She even has a wooden paddle hanging on the wall with the words 'fuck psychology' engraved on it. hehehehhahhah comedian named robert patrick kelly I can't get wet right now :P I WANNA DIP MY BALLS IN IT$@#&* I'd rather have a picture of tay naked sitting on a ferrari than persis naked sitting on a router, though. Definitely. and tober, jon does for the psychiatric community what marcus does for the lesbian community haha. *** Signoff: sedriss_ (Read error 54: Connection reset by peer) <_rone> he laughed himself off the channel. if somene told me i could either slap britney spears or punch navas.... i'd punch navas. no contest. Why should I be expected to know who Harry Potter is, but not who Aleister Crowley was? because aleister crowley doesn't have a burger king cup, silly having to argue with your drycleaners about how they didnt give you back 2000$ worth of clothes sucks huh. at your age i had tshirts and jeans. "dry cleaning" meant whacking my clothes with a stick. for $.50, I play muzzy like a fool. <^Bear> what do you get for $1 a punch in the kidneys * ^Bear hugs rone. "Your humor has made my day." it's phlegm. <^Bear> that explains the slimey feel. Seattle Star Wars Society member's Jeff Tweiten & John Guth have become the first in the world to begin waiting for Star Wars Episode II - Attack of the Clones. Jeff began his wait on January 1, 2002, and was soon joined by SSWS President John Guth. They will wait at the Cinerama theatre for nearly four and a half months until the release of Episode II on May 16th. *** p`zzzz (ajminn@rdu57-78-015.nc.rr.com) has joined channel #tsn *** Mode change "+v p`zzzz" on channel #tsn by ChanServ what's tomorrow's CAL match for RTCW? oh uh hmmmm this isn't teh shoutcast network doh *** p`zzzz has left channel #tsn --- The House Ways and Means Committee "is probably the most appropriately-named committee in the House," quips Committee Chairman Bill Thomas (R-CA). "Our job is to figure out ways of separating people from their means." (Source: Wall Street Journal, December 5, 2001. Thanks to Libertarian Party News.) --- japanese women. no butt, no tits, no fun. koreans have it, but they get hit with the ugly gene at 28. how goes the job search? xeeneee....it'll go, once i start it :) oh you haven't started? not seriously, i'm not hurting yet brian: You should start way early.. it's quite ugly :) no shit. one company i applied to went out of business between posting the ad and my email to them [talking about a game crack] <[tsn]Aznrocker> bah this crack is harder to get than real crack =\ <[tsn]Aznrocker> which isnt hard to get btw [ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww] mmmm nyquil is yummy LONDON (Reuters) - A hospital admitted Thursday it mistakenly sent letters to 30 patients, including six elderly men, telling them they were pregnant. They were sent by a computer system that automatically generates letters telling patients their operations have been postponed. * callas puts her cosmopolitan drunk ass in bed i awm about to goo to bedd vuxcz i need slep <[tsn]Katnipp> but.. shirley manson is hotter. :D <[tsn]Katnipp> i swear to god i'd do her anyday. *CatnMouse* oh, the website is absolute.corsets.com One of these days.. *CatnMouse* ACK! you didnt see that <^ShadowRaven^> whats a kiwi with a sheep under each arm called? <^ShadowRaven^> a pimp 869853 packets transmitted, 847275 packets received, 2% packet loss round-trip min/avg/max = 57.800/73.732/6457.553 ms hm. white asparagus looks like a penis I feel like a complete mom momo even No! Ima country hick. :P I can be prissy, but I prefer my jeans, boots and a flannel oops Gateway has found a new ally in its quest to convince consumers to upgrade their PCs: a half-man, half-tiger beast that wields a mean sword. The struggling PC maker announced Tuesday a partnership with Sony Online Entertainment and chipmaker Intel to sell PCs optimized for the Sony online game "EverQuest." A: "Ron, please restart the web servers." R: "OK, restarted." T: "It's not working @#!$!@#$!" S: "Hey, this file is missing!" T: "Whoops. My bad." compared to the colo move fiasco, this is refreshing. Who put me on all the small penis spam lists anyway? From: Jordan Hubbard Subject: Gosh, how NICE to see that Slashdot has released FreeBSD 4.5! Not only am I quoted as somehow having announced it (EH?), but slashdot has just announced the availability of FreeBSD 4.5. I am the dot in dot-com FUCK THE DOT I always thought of you as the umlat in dot-com. Yeah! Fuck the dot! Then I'd get laid! Woohoo! "This message is not intended for residents of Washington or California." good job, mr. spammer! hmm, found some porn groove. http://www.vitaminic.com/cgi-php/get_file.php3?modo=1&bid=109927 it's cool. slamfuck? "Slamfuck Me" I like the way the porno samples break up the noisy techno into more digestable chunks. oh my confidence in pac bell hosting is SO high.. quote from support guy about the pop server disconnecting ONE of 32 users here 'well sir your tcip session is your internet connection, it has nothing to do with our servers' i thought it was someones finger :/ i really am that small :( why do people think I'm odd just because I suck the marrow out of bone? dark: To be perfectly frank, I think I can attract a better caliber of woman without you around. You attract those chicks from Quincy and Reveah, you know, the ones with the overly-liberally-applied eye makeup and really really big hair. fuck you I think Xney is the most perverted guy I've ever met online Pentics Network Information Systems (NYSE:PNIS) announced today that Craig A. Huegen has been promoted to Chief Oriface Officer. play EQ, I hear there's hot single wimmin there. Oh Jesus. Someone just uploaded a Word file as their .htaccess. Hm, the director of Blow died of a cocaine overdose. Quite ironic. "Fox NEWS is like the world's longest DEVO video, plus Muppets." Someone broke into a doctors office here in Houston and they ONLY thing they stole was $2,000 worth of Viagra. *laff* dooood.. my new chair at work comes with software, a cdrom.. that's WROOOONG IRC is a joke actually it's not cuz if it was a joke it'd be funny karl: my new girlie is *really& kinky hm, freedb thinks that my UNIX Power Tools CD is "L'opera des rats" by Leo Ferre close enough [after finding missing part for a "some assembly required" set...] I AM NO LONGER SCREWLESS!!! So I had a girlfriend for all of 9 months. She dropped by one afternoon when I was sick with a pan of brownies and a video tape with the simpsons on it (my favorite show). so I start eating the brownies and turn on the tape. midway through it, it cuts to her sucking off some dude. he nuts in her mouth, she looks at the camera, and says "you're dumped. enjoy the brownies"-and spits the mouthful of cum into a bowl of brownie C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. hmm is there something for linux that's like KDE for unix? huh? you can run KDE on linux. !rox-*! OPERWALL - BTW where is our christmas bonus? I don't want another male hooker this year.. !xyst*! OPERWALL - I'll take "expressions commonly heard at EXDS" for 300, alex.. remorse wants to eat tsk? errrr eat with * remorse kicks xyst#%$@&!* heh oops play nice$%@#&*( well you DO spend a lot of time @ lightning think I accidentally deleted /bin fucking A A stream called "CHAOS Incorporated" is playing backstreet boys Ugh, shoot me now. I just tried to use 'tracert' in Unix. a penis can't pull your hair. 18 or 19... depending on what i can find that's straight ikuhiuhiawoeijf now they just rebooted the dist router in the datacenter ;p damn maintenance windows! oh.. i guess i'm not really here :-) THERE we go * Gersh notes he should clean up the cum stain from his leather couch from the last girl before the next girl comes over you need a 28-30 year old woman.. they're old enough that they're starting to feel pressure of the 'ol biological clock ticking & start lowering their standards.. at least, that's my latest tactic :) i went from 303 to 190 you've lost 2 entire supermodels! [talking about mom finding porn collection on computer] i didnt think shed look int he folder named Kyle Pr0n Pre-martial sex0r is a no-no <[tsn]Katnipp> martial? [03:10PM] <|sym|> I just talked to a cox.net rep and he said that cox.net + dont use domain names or name servers...I can name it whatever I + want [03:13PM] |sym|: though normally the dhcp server gives you the dns + servers to use. [03:13PM] <|sym|> yeah, in ifconfig, they are already there [03:24PM] "routing? no, we're an internet company, we don't do sewers" <[tsn]aNg3L> Balls are just pitiful additions by God. <[tsn]aNg3L> He was like...ooh..extra clay. * roman #best points and laughs im a big fan of gay people less competition for me. but the bra is so cute! it pushes my boobs together. it's girly. what about a bra that pulls boobs apart? would that be manly? the economy is picking up again I'm beginning to get asian porn again err, asian porn spam <@jafo> pardon me, but isn't that my arm in your anus? * tinman- looks concerned. karl, did i tell you what allen did? he switched to tea instead of coffee... and became a bit 'ill' had a fondness for the bathroom turns out the tea he was drinking, was the tea i had gotten garnet when she was pregnant and constipated bitter? are you kidding? it's friday! i'm a happy guy! wow I'd spent the past several weeks thinking rone was female my woman ran into some guy she went to high school with.. he used to be a Marketing Director for a dotbomb.. now? he's manager at Fresh Choice - and really psyched! Some quotes were like, "Man, at my old job, no one listened to me! but here.. Fresh Choice is a great company to work for!" I'm tryin' to imagine the sort of ideas you have input into as a Fresh Choice manager. "Man, I told them.. not enough peanuts in the chicken salad.. so.. they put in more peanuts!" karl: lightning was hit with 1.6gbps there !oz-fix! LOCOPS - 30 second output rate 1658396000 bits/sec, 18189 packets/sec how nice.. just realized by #tz window was scrolled up no wonder i hadnt seen anyone talk in 18 hours hmm. "We have all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare...Thanks to AOL, we know this is not possible." Count Porkula i vant to suck your lard. wheee * Wohali2 accidentally did /etc/init.d/sshd stop instead of restart we had a lot of fun.. there were ppl paryting in the feild behing the orchard and riding dirbikes n shit getting fficked up till 6am.. and we heard cows screaming haha cows scream? ummm no one would go with me to see what was going on... I think them rednecks were out there fucking some cows that would freak me out. i've never heard a cow scream. oh i've never fucked a cow either... that must be why maybe they went cow tippin its a very unhappy and loud mooiOOOOooooo ugh stunnel cores with my certs wtf annoying this shit is sposed to just work! heh it was my fuckup i had tcpwrappers set up to send back a banner mac chicks are also significantly hotter than PC chicks. It's a law of nature. HAHAHAHAHAH tech suppport is gloriuos this lady is telling me the ghost of a former employee is reconfiguring her computer and making it crash toyota called me this morning to tell me that i get a portion of my rear suspension replaced for free you gave an oper your phone number? :) Itdoesn't. I'm a natural, I can do it in my sleep. Sex doesn't involve skill. ;) buni, hows married life sweets catty: Wifey hates her job buni, aww :/ wife hates cooking and sex? bahgagagagaga I AM RUNNING ON TOOL BOX 9. I HAVE A HP COMPUTOR WITH XP-4 WINDOWS PROGRAM. SEVERAL TIMES I HAVE FILLED OUT THE URAR AND GONE TO SAVE AND THE SYSTEM GOES BLANK AND RETURNS TO DESKTOP. I LOST EVERY THING. LAST NIGHT I ATTEMPTED TO FILL IN THE URAR AND THE SYSTEM SHUT DOWN 7 TIMES IN A ROW. IS THIS A PROBLEM WITH THE TOOL BOX #9 OR THE WINDOWS PROGRAM. IT ONLY HAPPENS WHEN I AM IN THE URAR PROGRAM. i want a computor XP-4 WINDOWS hahahahahha oh my and hes an aol user *shock* premature ejaculation doesnt' affect men. it affects WOMEN true story, a kindergarten teacher was reading the three little pigs to her class, got to the part where the one pig is asking the farmer for some straw so he can build a house. she asked the kids at this point what they thought the farmer said, one little boy raises his hand and says, "He probably said, "Holy shit! A talking pig!"" she was unable to continue teaching for about ten minutes Apr 16 21:38:38 boredom /kernel: '..' that's a fantastic logged message. *** Pyrr has changed the topic on channel #Twilight_Zone to i'm not opped bwayayayaha oh wait Rose 0wnz Craig. lm: hush mr. i'm-sick-but-i-have-to-go-get-missi-dinner now this isnt' something I've seen before line con 0 transport input none stopbits 1 speed 100 spanning-tree portfast <[tsn]bunnyrabid> #tsn is like your web browser <[tsn]bunnyrabid> [RP] is like those porn popups <[RP]Euphoria> its all about flipping out in the produce section of a supermarket seizures get you soooo many bitches <[RvL]Prodigy> (@[SiW]-Paci): omfg this girl today on the bus feel asleep on my shoulder and i didn't have the guts to moove her so i missed my fucken stop back da dogs been walked well, it's nice you're making sure rone gets his exercise i could be an expert in "how not to get laid" and i don't share my personal life here, like you do ;) these people don't "share" their personal lives here, they "live" their personal lives here It's OK to pack tweezers and nail files in carry-on luggage again, federal transportation security officials said Tuesday OBPF == open buggiest path first i bet episode 3 will be a love story about jarjar binks fucking a wookie i just went to get more to drink and realize i'm trashed bleh netapp running out of room again since hw people are like 'OOOOHHHH look space, lets fill it up." hmm lets see how does that quota on command go again? 32642004 ibmasok someone on #cisco just asked how to convert a mac address in xx:xx:xx:xx:xx:xx form to xxxx.xxxx.xxxx I feel miserable. In two days I will be 28 years old, and it's hitting me that almost certainly I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life single, and I just can't take that. *** Mode change "+o marcus" on channel #Twilight_Zone by dth *** tober has been kicked off channel #Twilight_Zone by marcus (get a grip. jesus christ.) I'm so bored. Maybe I'll hire a prostitute or something. i know a nice one his name is alex I'm married fucking microwave every time someone uses the microwave in the briefing room I lose wireless connectivity craig you are married to a microwave? "Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product." * Chris tests out another popup * Chris hugs {{{{{{{{{{{$1}}}}}}}}}} -nobody- [network wide notice] you are pls to kill drone alot, kthx bi [no replies pls] -DALnet- [DALnet Global Notice] The last global notice that you received was a mistake and should be disregarded. We're sorry for the inconvenience. [No Replies Please] okay..let me try this again... and don't make fun of me if it does a $1 again..LOL * Chris {{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} lora GOD DAMN IT FIX YOUR STUPID ASS FUCKING SERVERS SO I CAN STAY CONNECTED AND CHAT WITH MY NET SLUTS! livejournal: men = gay, women = issues ROMANCE MATHEMATICS >Smart man + smart woman = romance >Smart man + dumb woman = affair >Dumb man + smart woman = marriage >Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy [01:23AM] so were at dinner tonight and the waiter asks me what kinda soup i want [01:23AM] i mean to say "clam chowder" but somehow spit out [flashman on UK keyboard] you've all seen @there's something about mary@, no? ARGH PUT THE DAMN @ KEY WHERE IT BELONGS, ON TOP OF THE 2 well, unemployment will pay for my t1 :) heh. my boss just reminded the people whose server i broke that, when the server was initially deployed, he asked them if they would care if the server were down for 24 hours, and they replied, "not enough to get a second server" a custom becomes a tradition when the people doing it can't remember the reason why they're doing it. omg dina just sent me a limerick There once was a boy from upstate Who met this girl who would keep him up late. While they spent the night talking His nuts were just rockin 'Cause no sex even on the third date. "Buffering a >4GB file in swap space is not my idea of a performance web server." - Jef Poskanzer heh heh Angelina Jolie gives me a stiffy. perl gives me a negative stiffy. wow, inside out & everything? man No no, just a limpy. It is thought that "Tober" is a corruption of "Toiber" which is Yiddish for "deaf person" id like to get married someday minus the whole marriage part of it <_Mikey_> STRAP ON .... STRAP OFF .... <_Mikey_> I was watching some fags at a club... and a girl walked up to one of them & started flirting. The fag turns around & tells her, "Grow a dick, bitch!" last time somone warned me to watch out for power cables in the colo, they ended up knocking out power themselves. well at least it wasnt synchronized cock sucking * FlashMan catnmouse Jennifer and I were staying after school and I had to develop some pictures -- never got them developed but had one hell of a time GAH erm ignore that. ooh great ibm server story we used to do work for the USDA and they bought for their farm service centers, i think 4,300 IBM eservers (3U p3-500's or somethingorother.) well, they started having a problem with failure and called a big meeting to discuss the IBM sales rep stood up and said, and i'm not kidding, "the failure rate on those is 71%. it's industry standard." [rone waiting on conference call to finish, politely] GOD DAMN IT ALL TO HELL. I WANT TO GET ME TACOS. LET ME LEAVE YOU GODDAMNED MAGGOTS. THANK YOU. i had a straight boy give me head yesterday. i can do *anything* Actually, if tay said to me "I'll sexor you if you let me watch you have sex with a guy" I'd at least consider it. i never believe marcus when he talks about getting laid. just like i never believe rodney when he talks about how much money he has man, i blew my nose and my nose ring flew out that's not happened in years * WXWhyZ happened to go home to sleep I just read that as "* WXWhyZ happened to go home to sheep" Woah east coast people say hella now ? Yeah. Hella hella hella. I'm hella phat. jimmie, yes, you used to be married to a Canadian, that now makes you the official #tz Canuck-Greeter. You have to stand near the entrance and whenever a canadian comes in you have to say "Hi! Welcome to #twilight_zone!" and smile. there's a group of females.. on this mailing list.. that occassionally bitch out, another female who is on the list just proposed to those that get annoyed .. to figure out the cyclic pms dates and setup a calendar to ignore/filter mail based on dates/sender. I just find it oddly amusing. a huge boom rocked my neighborhood this morning - thought someone had lit off a cherry bomb or something near my house till the neighbor came over saying he had no power turns out a squirrel became a conductor on the power pole kaboom! one less squirrel poor thing :( my cousin redefined redneck last week. oh/ arian: yeah... he was sitting in a plastic chair with his shirt offfeet propped up on a race wheel, and eating watermelon we all gave him shit for hours Man. You are *SO* white trash :) * remorse meeps it legal! keeps it legal even! VoIP makes me horny. * tober unF unF unF "The most horrific movie experience I've had since "Can't Stop The Music." It may as well be called ?Jar-Jar Binks: The Movie.? It?s that painful." -- Collin Souter, EFILMCRITIC.COM regarding Scooby-Doo. Jeff doesn't need a weightset, Tammy is small enough to bench and curl. ;) okay, I'm overcooking my noodle s ugh, that looked wrong Mmkay, when I see "MIB2" I think "SNMP." Mmkay, I should get out more. "I've run into code written by people who seem to think it's portable if it runs on Red Hat 6.1 *and* Red Hat 7.1." - Peter da Silva heh, I went to CNN's page and the headline is 'WorldCom execs on the Hill' and my brain turned it into, "WorldCom execs go to Hell" - too bad it's really the first one. ok this is odd I have MIB II ramen next to me. (adm) No definitions found for "verio", perhaps you mean: (adm) SUX is it a bad sign when you have to optimize your office for better airflow? :) no, because i had to do just that normally the girls sleep with me before they dis me so hard :) <_duncan> every sperm is sacred... every sperm is great .. if a sperm is wasted gets quite irate yes, i said rotfl. i picked it up in the 'hood my penis and my penis only he could have come to work for exodus, then he could get fucked a few times before he gets married pwd /data/eon/wwwroot/coldfusion/coldfusion/coldfusion/coldfusion/coldfusion/cold fusion/coldfusion/coldfusion/coldfusion/coldfusion/coldfusion/coldfusion/cold fusion/coldfusion/coldfusion/coldfusion/coldfusion/coldfusion mmm, symlink ahah a customer has this service that has a daily spending cap. so a customer of theirs writes in: > you think ou can get my daily limit raised to $100 soon? THIS IS A SEXUAL > EMERGENCY11 isn't there enough porn on the internet? $100 of porn per DAY? man.. that IS a sexual emergency. wtf theres some random dude in myass #myass <[RP]HappyNoodle> and we can be bestest friends <[tsn]BigTanGringo> I'm not going to move in with anyone named "happy noodle" Have you heard about the new super sensitive condoms? After the man leaves, they hang around and talk to the woman. <[tsn]BigTanGringo> Quote from Stephanie: The reason geek girls are Bi is because you start to like all the porn you have access to. I knwe things were going downhill at exodus...but getting an escalation because rfc 1918 space isn't routed... Uh oh. the dreaded "please give me a short job description for yourself" I suggest haiku. "cherry blossoms fall / unix systems engineer / what a joke title" tinker with machine / router is happy again / [...] flapping in wind hmm, cherry blossoms work well. They will know you lead a balanced life. it needs a seasonal reference to be haiku. otherwise it's jsut senryu. stupid fucking twat, winter of my discontent, you make me vomit. it has "winter" in it. so it counts. * wrestleme:#gayteensex is a young guy 27 who has short blonde hair and emerald green eyes 5-8" tall 146lbs. I am seeking a young + guy legal aged to bully me to put my body into painful wrestling moves and sit on me, please can you msg. me * XDice will be making another trip t HE tonight. are you taking a bat? 3:24pm up 4:40, 3 users, load average: 2729.97, 1687.63, 750.05 holy shit I'll be pimping pussy when I have pussy to pimp ;) tay's exotic pussy farm! NOTICE DATE: August 27, 2002 Your Domain Name is Due to Expire ATTENTION: VeriSign(R) Customer Your domain name registration for CATPOOP.ORG will expire on 02/24/03. Buy new: $239.99 -- Refurbished from: $269.99 I was just pulling your leg <[tsn]Katnipp> don't pull too hard i'll go limp. man this guy woer this shirt yesterday it said "if I throw a stick, will you leave?" a/c powered vibrators rule :0 <[tsn]Pr0n_M0ng3r> it's bad when your step-mom walks in on a good bj spotted this in one of the LinuxIsForBitches.com forums: Linux is to UNIX as your hand is to sex... It might get the job done, but you dont want other people to know about it... I need to check into homopathy for hayfever you cant have a # in a kline comment? -irc.lightning.net- Invalid character '#' in comment It's running hybrid, did you actually expect it to work right? :) heh, spamassassin just trapped a bunch of messages from Verisign. you sure that's not "scumassassin?" For TV games at Candlestick in April, the Giants used to put cardboard cut-outs of fans in the stands to make the place look populated. tober logic is: "I don't like the taste of beer, therefore nobody who drinks beer is drinking it for the taste." * Darkshde notes tober actually said that sounds toberish the Russians are actually sending census forms to their cosmonauts on ISS can't they just count them from the ground? Two is not a large number. loveline is for chumps. and not just because adam corolla starts talking... although that's pretty scary. "Melanie, 21, you're on." "Hi, i have this question--" "Wait a second. Drew, i want to talk about my penis." that's when i want to pull my gun and shoot him. wait so if you have 1 charatcers nicks, you'd have 26 plus 9? or no becuase yu can't start a nick with a number ? well, and capital numbers. er... wow I actually might have a job interview I'm stunned fluffer? weeeeeee i definitely could use an orgasm or two... * Wohali . o O (Now where are those extra batteries...) How do you know when the whole world is fucked up? When while looking for "invader zim" in the Kazaa Network you find a video of a girl striping and masturbating while she is reading the morning news in the news paper (?!?!) WTF? bwahahhaahhaaha Hey Kev you Diablo playing, calamari hoochie eating beyatch put down the japanese schoogirl and step away from the nipple *** demphone (dem@world.anarchy.com) has joined channel #Twilight_Zone ok this is wrong ircing from a phone I Just dumped candy corn all over my nekkid body you don't give women up you escape. sugar mamma would be nice Aunt Jamima? Sherlock Holmes/Gundam Wing crossover fanfic. in French. ... there is no god. this is as boring as jered talking about cars and tay talking about cats i used to help dad with the garden.. * WolfMoon77 really misses that i used to help dad with exercise.. running etc... him chasing self with a stick and me running away my statement: "your access router is 45 miles from my router physically. The T1 that connects the two has 25 ms of latency. 45 mile T1's should have only 3-4 ms worst case latency. Here's the traceroute." their statement: "what IP address are you coming from, and what web sites are you having a problem reaching?" "I've been getting warnings for 2 weeks that my mailbox was over quota, and now I can't send anything! help help! it's an emergency!" bill gates gives $100 million over 10 years to india to fight HIV. microsoft spends $400 million in 3 years to fight linux. oh my god.. my customers need to get lives "I'm being DoS attacked!!!" I look at their graph it went from 1.4Mb/s to 1.7Mb/s being attacked by a single DSL off XO's net #> 22882 root 17 0 1492M 404M 176 D 2.4 80.4 13:52 e2defrag heh. linux defrag kinda sucks. I'm the mighty Monkey Slapper Ph34r my need to slap monkey! dude, after answering all the bigger-penis spam i get so far, it's alread 92" long. *dpk* ------------ ---.--- *dpk* |ddd@dd....---|.<%..| *dpk* --%dd@.d.....--....-- *dpk* |dd.d.--.......|.-- *dpk* --.dd.----.-.----- *dpk* this is looking bad *dpk* and i'm dead. haha. i can't wait till my girlfriend gets here... she is going to get in the shower, and then i'm going to go and take a powerslam in the shitchair so you are eager for your gf to arrive so you can take a shit? damn.. my mp3 archive is at the size where it panics the sun box when I try to mirror it back to world [FlashMan's T1 has high latency on it] so anyway, worldcom is fixing my circuit next week about damn time they did a DLR on it and found out why it has 25 ms latency my router's in germantown, il; UUnet's router is in st louis, mo 45 miles from each other the circuit goes from st louis - kansas city - chicago - germantown HAHAHAHAHAHA tour of the midwest 5650 1239 701 11846 21790 21790 21790 21790 21790 (history entry) 208.186.154.36 from 208.186.154.36 (207.173.112.11) Origin IGP, metric 0, localpref 100, external Dampinfo: penalty 3406, flapped 19 times in 01:33:25 * dpk {heart} competitor :) oh my sweetiepie cookies those are crack they come in cherry, too www.buy-order-valtrex-acyclovoir-genital-herpes-treatment.com worst. domain name. ever. oh nice. i just found searching my documents for '*irc*' crashes explorer man, ya know you're lonely when ya flirt with an irc bot ya didn't come the last 20 or so times I mass invited =) An ASCII character walks into a bar and orders a double. "Having a bad day?" asks the barman. "Yeah, I have a parity error," replies the ASCII character. The barman says, "Yeah, I thought you looked a bit off." I got another cap... It's got a tassle on it. Makes me feel like a nipple. * rone wanders back down to the server room. <^Bear> rone is a waiter *Harvester* Ok then, trust me when I say that my spawn would make damien, regan from the exorcist, and the baby from It's Alive look weak. can she suck the chrome off an atx power supply? I don't have tan lines, I have crt burn in billn: geektan i went without the riding crop today i thought it might be a bit too much i wanted to take a picture of the license plate I saw yesterday it said "zni 4 me" or something and I thought.. awww.. someone loves Karl <[RP]TakeDown> i member when i found my brothers vibrator it was hilarious <[RP]TakeDown> i mean sisters <[RP]TakeDown> that it was a stain remover <[RP]TakeDown> werd <[RP]TakeDown> im not afraid to use a dildo on myslef <[RP]TakeDown> i mean my parter E-mail from Corporate Marketing: "What drives these customers to pay more? It's the experience, stupid." this is america dammit - speak spanish! just relaxing spent the day with about 30 men so pretty much a normal day [08:43] sudo: oracle : TTY=pts/1 ; PWD=/opt/oracle ; USER=root ; COMMAND=/bin/mount nasbox2:/data/restore /tmp [talking about California State Quarter ideas] [09:46] I think they should have a california quarter with the pets.com sock puppet on there [09:47] :) [09:47] haha [09:47] or, alternatively, just a chart of the NASDAQ for the last 3 years [09:48] "I like to call the image on this quarter 'tech workers in the unemployment line'" Ducati.vs Women - One's a sexy thing that you've just got to ride, even if it breaks down a lot, costs a lot of money, and will probably try to kill you... The other is a brand of Italian motorcycle. <[tsn]Red> I love when hot chicks and gay men fight over me how can anyone be a size queen in america? we all know you're small dicked because we have black people here [on Windows XP] actually it's just win2k with a thong my daughter just announced that sleeping beauty must wear a bra, since she's a woman. "Television viewers in the US were shocked when a programme about the army was interrupted by 20 minutes of hardcore gay porn. Officials in Webster, near Rochester in New York state, are still trying to work out what happened to the community access show. "I am disappointed that the business climate unfavorably affected our ability to sell our products to customers," said Gary Flood, Metawave's chief executive officer translation: "I don't want to take responsibility for the fact our company sucks and doesn't offer any value to anyone." "therefore, I will blame the market" SET //15 { rsWSDServerName.60.60.60.200.50.50.50.7="s7" rsWSDServerWeight.60.60.60.200.50.50.50.7=1 rsWSDServerStatus.60.60.60.200.50.50.50.7=active rsWSDServerOperMode.60.60.60.200.50.50.50.7=regular rsWSDMultiplexedServerPort.60.60.60.200.50.50.50.7=0 wow, what a great CLI > heh > what is that? i thought directly setting SNMP variables went out with Bay Networks routers it's a RADware server load balancer > dude that rocks Looks vaguely like somebody's cat walked over the keyboard :) i'm guessing the CLI is not the primary configuration method on that product <[tsn]Govt_Geek> my wife sent me an email this morning since I was asleep <[tsn]Govt_Geek> --> Hey, forget hotornot.com, it should be called dorkyorjustplainbuttugly.com [21:19] i downloaded the new 007 the other night and it was save the last dance Dude, that's a lot of rabbit piss! "Mr. A.," as the patient is known in British tabloids, parted with $5,313 for a "triple technique dual increase male organ enlargement," which was supposed to add three inches in length and a ninety percent increase in girth. A. is now suing the doctor who performed the enlargement because his penis is now two inches shorter "Mind if i push in your stool?" <-- pickup line at a gay bar rodney is the official Bay Area upskirt camera operator My most complicated "help desk" type requests are always the ones someone else was involved in before I heard about it. 95% of the effort is decoding and fixing whatever they did, then 5% is the actual request. it's nearly universal. :) * tober doesn't like to mount anything by the ears only, it's... asking for trouble. Thats why you dont have a gf Ben hmm I think that XDice can vouch for me getting laid I don't wanna hear about you and xdice ok? wow pat puts out for gersh? ok so yesterday a breaker blew and took out our master and slave mysqlk servers so theres some table corruption my boss starts changing table names and stuff on the *slave* we actually have a guy named "Jerry Ming Ming Ding" A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only cling film for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts." elek< hint.... if you have to unscrew the plastic cap... it's not really wine Where's Karl, I wanna spank him for some reason :) * stars searches for karl tammys needs rear end work.. its riding bumpy .. oh, and btw, running a vacuum on the circuit that connects your lab up is A Bad Thing[tm]. MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER <|b4M|Katnipp> well i got a piece of meat stuck in my teeth that i can't get out... [talking about bad former developer at the company] where the documentation for the library is supposed to be, i found a README that says "the C library isn't documented because it's only meant to be called from perl" how do you kill an ostrich? scare it while its on concrete i dunno, its some sort of police rally ack peace rally * Mel-Home lix reid i feel...moist :o perhaps you are a towelette Gemini: (May 21?June 21) You will nearly drown when your classically educated mother submerges you in the Ohio River to give you invincibility. <[tsn]Raid> I HAVE 5* SAFTEY PINS IN MY NUTSACK! "The Yavapai-Prescott Indian Tribe is an equal opportunity employer and practices Indian preference." Aren't those mutually exclusive? :) hahaha... something funny a friend just said, "hmm, just occured to me that a protocol chart merged with old testament geneaology could be interesting ...and IP begat TCP and UDP...TCP begat Telnet, FTP, HTTP, ...and HTTP lived to be 987 years old or for multicasters: MRIB begat PIM, MSDP, and IGMP. They all wander in the desert for 40 years in search of users" [msn training] just like when they talked about "leasing" ips with dhcp, someone asked, "they have enough money, why dont they buy them?" * FlashMan watches his aunt's videotaping skills she got the record/standby backwards so she's taped about 30 minutes of people's arms when she thought she wasn't taping and the parts she wanted to tape aren't there yeah i swallow everything heh. "make install not war" "This team couldn't score with a bagful of pardons in a women's prison." Oof. the British government plans to criminalize sexual intercourse with cadavers. According to a clause in the forthcoming Sexual Offences Bill, morticians will be exempt from prosecution, as will those who penetrate any part of a dead body "fully believing the person to be alive, but who is in fact dead, or unexpectedly dies during intercourse". xney; oh man but she's SO good in bed marcus: you have to stop dating gersh's throwaways co-worker asked me today "what sexual position produces ugly babys" and the answer was "ask your mother" How it works! To start with we use a 7"x11" metal drum ( which is the outer drum) Then the motor oil is poured into the inner can, it does not use oil, it only uses the atomic atoms from the oil which is very safe to use. The oil is added only one time for the life of the unit. Then a zink rod is placed in the center of the inner drum, in return, a safe atomic reaction takes place which creates a strong reaction with in the atoms of the oil creating a enormus amount of heat. *** Signoff: Kanan (Banned: Clonebots are prohibited (DNYAMIC)) heh it's cool to watch an admin be klined by his clone watch tools as i was saying... just because my hair is black, i only wear black clothes, i only go out at night, and i say strange things DOES NOT MAKE ME GOTH. it makes me sysadmin. Joel Silver, producer of the Matrix, thinks Keanu Reeves could take Jet Li in a fight. French is the language of culture for people without any. i'd rather swallow than shoot. let's pretend i didn't say that. well, that explains why men name their dicks. they wouldn't wanna have a stranger makin their important decisions. marriage isn't all bad, just most of it :) why is it the people who get excited about pot laws are idiots I really think DOS 6.22 is the answer. what was the question? "What's the last good OS microsoft made?" correct! I took a picture of my penis, it was the only way I could see it over my fat Rodney knows all about PO boxes. They save you the embarrassment of at-home porn delivery "Plain Brown Wrapper Adult Enterprises[tm]" The car Jose Aguado Cervantes bought at a U.S. marshal's auction in 1999 came with more than he bargained for: 119 pounds of marijuana, hidden in the bumpers. Customs agents found the marijuana three months later when Cervantes drove the car from his home in Tijuana into the United States. It cost the 67-year- old grandfather 3 1/2 undeserved months in jail. supposed reply by law professor: "When I was a young lawyer, I had a lot of innocent clients, but because I was inexperienced and didn't know the system, they were found guilty. Now that I'm an older lawer and have experience with the system, know the judges and the clerks, I have a lot of guilty clients that are found innocent. So in balance, justice is fair." I forgot how dumb marketing people are. One of them just tried to print a 2.4 gigabyte file. the printer crashed. ha. "No one would ever print a 2.4 gig file! we don't need to worry about THAT." When 17-year-old Laurie Hanniford worked as a part-time swim instructor three years ago, she made $316 and paid $3.16 in local taxes. Last month, she was fined $352 for not filing a local tax return. <[tsn]frosty> omg... * [tsn]frosty slaps his forehead <[tsn]frosty> I didn't see the part on the xbox live box that said ethernet cable not included well nite all! this is like the first year i didn't get killed on my birthday. heee. *** Signoff: Psyber (Killed (KrON (Good night and happy birthday asshole!))) heh that was a stupid thing to say here shit. victoria's secret semi-annual sale and the gf took my credit card. if it moo's I sleep with it err moves ok, off to fix my life. bbl uh oh, arian's going to nip his life in the nuts. the best quote of my trip: "IM GOING TO BURN YOUR FUCKING HOUSE DOWN YOU FAT BITCH" from my mom to my sister, on voicemail. ha ha. seddie: dayumn. your mom off her meds again, eh? well, she was mixing pain pills and sleeping pills because of the wire fence that went through her skull. i told you about that, right? * gomi missed that bit me, too. it'd be nice if you included relative details the first time.. If you have an Open License, Select License, or Enterprise Agreement, you cannot use your volume licensing media to install a Microsoft desktop operating system on a PC that does not already have a desktop operating system installed. You need to purchase an Anal Invasion License from Microsoft. salesdroids are insane. they have a gong and a bell here for everytime a deal gets closed. at the last company they had a siren. "Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future by the year 2000, may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and weigh only 1.5 tons." -- Popular Mechanics, March 1949 A chicken and egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette, a satisfied smile on his face. The egg is frowning and looking a little ticked. After a moment, the egg turns to the chicken and mutters, 'Well, I guess we finally answered that question.' call yahoo customer service... "can i get your name?" "can i get your domain?" "YOU own ebay?" cs was a little 'thrown' cant find the direct noc contact number :) Ben Stein = UNF UNF HELLO?? you probably think jimmy kimmel is hot, too. Jimmy Kimmel isn't hot, exactly, but I wouldn't kick him out of bed. He has fighting spirit. you have no taste. like, ero. zero, even. hmmm. developer nerds appealed to their VP to have HP desktops running out-of-the-box red hat to be put in the colo on our external network. rone: OW so he made it happen. so now we're very pissed off because we don't support linux, but we'll have to now. DESKTOPS. running REDHAT. those things had WINE on `eem. If they didn't have names, you couldn't keep track of which one had sex with Britney. Unless maybe we tattooed it on their foreheads... The scarlet B. "20 years ago...Punchcard systems were just becoming obsolete, we had rotary phones in the dorms, and a modem was still a gizmo the size of a shoebox into which you squooshed the phone receiver itself. In short, we lived like animals." "Reuters has a story about Sony having to recall 18 thousand VAIO laptops because apparently there is some risk of users receiving a small electric shock "if you have connected your PC (laptop) to external power, you have disabled your phone line, (while) simultaneously being connected to a grounded peripheral, and you are touching a metal part of the PC, and your phone rings"!" typical. 2 days before a 2500 mile road trip and the iPod dies. * marcus gps tracks his father when i called him earlier today and asked him why he was eating at burgerking, his response was "damnit, every parent dreams about the ability to track their kids vehicles, but instead my kids are tracking me!" he's at a tollbooth on the pa turnpike now heheh marcus: What's the transmitter? a linux box with a sierra wireless card verizon's $80/mo flat rate 144kbit service And why are you tracking him? well i built the linux box to be a server for the motorcoach oh it's not a car print server, jukebox, and wireless router bridges the verizon card to wifi and hooking up the gps to it just seemed like a natural thing to do it uploads its coords to a website every minutes, and that website has a link to a mapquest map centered on his location and mapquest has satellite photography now too so its ubercool, i can say "hey check out that pond on the other side of those trees" "It has come to my attention that several employees are talking at their desks during scheduled work hours. I must convey the importance of NOT talking at your desk, or to your desk partner. Talking greatly decreases work productivity, and company morale. " ha ha. go ebay. French Government's latest attempt to preserve its culture/language: civil servants are not permitted to use the non-French word "email," but rather the Frenchy "courriel", which is short for courrier ilectronique. The curious thing is that the word was actually coined by a professor in Montreal (its deeply amusing to see the French taking French lessons from Quibicois) why me? ... me,"Just out of curiosity... why did you decide to use compress to shrink the backup?" coworker,"As opposed to?" me,"bzip, gzip or tar -z since you're going to tar it anyway" coworker,"Oh compress is betther than those, man" me,"why do you say that?" coworker,"Those are all free, but compress is included with solaris." this is the same person who was trying to convince me that you can use RAID to mirror two seperate UFS file systems. there is a zuccini in my lunch bag raw mind you a zucchini! Sometimes a zucchini is just a zucchini. you sure about that tober? Yes. Sometimes a zucchini is just a zucchini Sometimes it's a 10 inch throbbing green zucchini of love but sometimes just a zucchini ooh, i have my first ebay idiot. and guess what, he's from AOL. sent a hard drive fedex, he had a signature waiver, and now is asking "where is my dvd drive?" KUALA LUMPUR (Reuters) - Malaysian Muslim men can divorce their wives through text messages on mobile telephones, the New Straits Times daily reported, quoting a religious adviser to the government. Islamic law permits a man to divorce his wife by saying "talaq" . I divorce you . three times. think I'm having woman problems again though you don't feel fresh? how can you have woman problems, you dont even have a woman That's my problem. i like porn....but i wouldnt play a porn mod for cs..... ok....i would hey, ever since they cleaned up that fucking cc that debited $120k out of my account, i've liked bofa. <[tsn]frosty> damnit <[tsn]frosty> I just stabbed myself in the back of the throat with a straw ok that was funny watching jimmie drive off with a new DVD player box strapped to his motorcycle "I drink lots of coffee...I have like 3 of these Carmel Frappicino things from Starbucks" "Um, you know htat has like tons of calories in it" "Really? I thoguht since it was liquid it was ok" sigh Your site must be on a UNIX based server such as APACHE in order to be able to use this optional membership feature! Open the file ".htaccess" which is located in this folder with a good ascii text editor such as windows note pad. HAHAHA what site is this that runs smb on their web servers? fuck if i know m$!! "Educated in one of the best engineering school, with two years industrial experiences, I am ready to face any technical challenge." Have you noticed that people are still having sex? what's sex? a hobby not allowed for geeks For the first time, the typical American family has more vehicles in the garage than licensed drivers in the house There are 107 million U.S. households, each with an average of 1.9 cars, trucks or sport utility vehicles and 1.8 drivers The Morning News of Northwest Arkansas recently reported that a 36-year-old mother neglected her 3-year-old daughter while playing EverQuest for several hours, resulting in the child's death. when will they ban eq! Stupid kid Didn't the kid know mom was on a raid ? oh boy, my TiVo recorded "The Router Workshop" how smart it is :) my new driving hero: handicapped person in gigantic SUV using one of those knob steering wheel dealies (indicating they have limited motor control) - with a cell phone pinched up against their head with their shoulder. where did you see this? while bicycling.. on foothill. heh Dem is trying to oppress people! handicapped plates are nearly always a sign of scary ass awful driving. but this was even more impressive. "Please change my login shell from tcsh to csh." ooookay mister mental case. A plan by Japan, China and South Korea to develop an operating system alternative to Microsoft's Windows software could raise concerns over fair competition, Microsoft said on Friday. my mom was testdriving cars.. she drove a 4wd audi and started to 4 wheel drift with the sales guy in the car told him it wasn't handling well enough and bought a 325IX hahhaa nice. he was white knuckling it my brother was in the car with them and told me about it verily, the sword of procmail doth allow thee to spreadeth thine muck across many leagues of acreage known as 'incomprehnsible folder structure', instead of the inbox-from-hell. interesting If you were dumb enough to open this email then you will find a WORM has executed itself through your mailbox and by the time you read this into your hard-drive. This is PAYBACK for the Virus you disguised in the email you sent to us recently which destroyed our hard-drive and back-up system. This will proabably cost you a new computer and I sincerely hope this teaches you a lesson not to send people nasty viruses again. Evocash Administration Inc. ... ----^+Start^=Auto^Execute+^WORM^--------- haha DALLAS (Reuters) - A New York man trying to save a few dollars on his air fare is under investigation for stowing himself in an air cargo crate that was delivered to his parents' home near Dallas, authorities said on Tuesday. i love verizon saying "we know your time is vulnerable" er valuable so, here i am, shoving things out of the way to, maybe, expose old asset tags, and it's so dark, i'm using my cell phone as a flashlight. and my laptop's speakers are too weak to effectively overcome the noise of the fans, so i can barely hear my music. so it's barely better than nothing. GARRR. HULK SMASH STUPID COLO. GARRRR. COLD VENTILATION MAKES HULK'S EYES DRY. NORFOLK, Va. W East Coast residents from North Carolina to New Jersey were being urged Monday not to panic, but to prepare immediately for the potentially catastrophic strike of Hurricane Isabel. that's an oxymoron if i've ever seen one... do not panic, but prepare IMMEDIATELY!!! <[RP]nanoTech> hey, peeps read this and tell me if it is coo <[RP]nanoTech> To whom it may concern: *** Signoff: [RP]nanoTech (Excess Flood) I have a friend named Catherine (cat) <[RP]nanoTech> Trillian just meowed at me because of what ever you type xney Feh. they renamed my neato computers from 'lameduck' and 'lobotomy' to 'rone01' and 'rone02'. i hate them. gw net-mail # emerge popa3d Calculating dependencies !!! all ebuilds that could satisfy "popa3d" have been masked. !!! Error calculating dependencies. Please correct. Uhhh i grew up in a town where i was beat up by irish catholics for being german, by native americans for being white, and by the school bully just because. i don't understand racism <[tsn]Dixie> Don't dis on people just cuz they're getting sex <[tsn]Dixie> You turn into Xney A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. SunnComm Technologies, a developer of CD antipiracy technology, said Thursday that it will likely sue a Princeton student who early this week showed how to evade the company's copy protection by pushing a computer's Shift key. Use a Shift Key, Go To Jail! <[RP]TakeDown> am i the only guy that likes prison sex? or reclassify [the children] all as "learning disabled" - that's popular now. "My kid has ADD/PHP/C++!" I guess I'm more technically challanged than I hought. I'm in our SF office, ac tually at an HQ location. They have supplied a T1 connection but I can't get to the Internet by just plugging the connection into my laptop. I am using dial u p right now to get this message out. This may be a stupid question but how can I get access using the T1? wahahaha that was sent to ex-taosers (a list of network/systems admins) "The actor who plays Jesus in Mel Gibson's film The Passion of Christ has escaped injury after being struck by lightning during filming." [insert joke here] my friend has the best buddy list he has like "fat" "doable" "hot chick" "fucked her" wtf who can help me physics is the speed of light changeable? Shareholders also will be asked to approve the plan, along with a 73-to-1 reverse stock split that the company needs to avoid being delisted by the Nasdaq stock market. go redback! * budster wonders how the kb got sticky just tried inserting that last pic. faint burning smell and the juniper went down. it's back up now but with only one power supply. :( FAINT BURNING SMELL FROM ROUTERS ARE BAD mmm, MSH, the Microsoft Shell sounds like a good Halloween story and MS talking about buying Google ooo! scary! ewps... I hadn't done something that boneheaded in a long time I was hot-plugging the CDROM drive on my ultra2 and err... accidently shortcircuited the power the power supply didn't like that very much Well.. I took the drive out to repair it... first time I ever took apart a CDROM drive from craigslist: I have a brand new in the box, unopened 40GB IPOD. Ever want one and can not come up with the cash ??? I am open to trades, and discusion for barter from Woman only....let me know your thoughts. Thanks a spam just informed me I can find true love if I go to: http://dogfarthouse.com/love.html Some HR lady at this new company said 'We need unix skills, not linux and solaris' * Efudd heh holy shit, after i upgraded to 4.9-STABLE, the CPU temps in my computer dropped 25F somebody fix the idle loop? man, NOW what am I going to heat the house with this winter? nah, i got "CD" tattooed on my penis...when it gets hard, it says "comstud" ok, i'm gonna go pick up the keg, then go to the colo sicne i'm of cheap renting age and all # ssh hvm02 which tail tail: aliased to tail -f /var/log/syslog someone needs a good, swift asskicking. zaph: mkswap /dev/hda1 that won't fuck me up cplus? zaph: Give it a shot zaph0d> i got this Setting up swapspace, size = 133885952 bytes hda: bad access: block=-2, count=2 end_request: I/O error, dev 0301, sector 4294967294 Kernel panic: EXT2-fs panic (device 3/1): ext2_read_inode: unable to read i-node block - inode=74596, block=42$ hda: bad access: block=-2, count=2 mmm memories perl @/kern/makeops.pl -h @/kern/device_if.m perl: not found this can't be good. heh, the e-mail contractor bozo who uses!!! too!! much!! punctuation!!! wants us to change MX records for macromedia.com to the new servers... to the internal IP addresses. wake me up when irc gets smart * dem unplugs the life support from lammah. faster that way. * rone finds an internal address in the external dns zone and grits his teeth i put this at the top of the zone file, in vain: ;; DO NOT MAKE ENTRIES IN THIS ZONE FILE FOR INTERNAL IP ADDRESSES ;; THIS IS FOR EXTERNALLY VISIBLE ADDRESSES ONLY ;; DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE management named our ERP project "Project Phoenix". i suppose that means we're gonna have to burn the existing infrastructure to the ground first. now i must read chapter 3 of "Understanding Statistics" *snore* "statistics are how politicians lie." now you can move on to chapter 4 * jimmie does the kooky bananna * squrl raises an eyebrow jimmies sex life in a nutshell you know it it's all I think about all day My husband is not happy with my mood swings. The other day, he bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big fuc*ing red mark on his forehead. when you all hear this.. you'll go. "yeah, figures" but trust me... it was a sight be behold. I was driving down the road this evening.... and an Ambulence came over this hill.... I pulled to the side like a good little citizen.. when behind it i see.... a pizza delivery car. fast giving chase. the pizza boy PASSED the ambulence going about 20mph faster than he was... and about 1.5 miles down the road, turned into some residential area... going to deliver his pizza. only in America. cats are cool until they poop same with men egrep -ic snowtowcar.wmv /var/log/apache2/access_log 30172 total transferred: 412Gb Cramping Calf. sounds like a Chinese martial arts move. Cramping Calf, Hidden Tiger. ow my vp needs to die his last name is Au. and he ended his latest e-mail with AUSOME!!! Here is my attach resume. I hope you can read it and see in that with my experiment I can be one of your team members. [talking about LJ girl...] You know, there used to be 5 bridesmaids. She ate one, now there are 4. she kicked one off for criticizing the dress baha "you may now harpoon the bride" i love men that know what thread count their sheets are thats incredibly sexy almost as much as hdtv I've been blind to the inner sanctums of the depraved singles scene on orkut Feb 10 18:46:44 server1601 postfix/smtpd[8846]: connect from unknown[127.0.1.50] .... ? *** in4mer is now known as DCC_CHAT * DCC_CHAT request received from LoverMan: Type /dcc send loverman /etc/shaodw to accept you spelled shadow wrong I used to be big into street racing. Made 3k a weekend easy. Wayyy before all the imports tried to pretend they were fast.. I drove a highly modified 93 Cobra that wouldn't remotely pass smog tuned correctly, nevermind the visual. One night towards the end of good streetracing, or towards the beggining of all the gay imports, I got caught racing a 600hp Supra..He pulled over, I pulled over a bit before him. The cop looked at my car, checked my stuff, took the cuffs of me, and told me..."Sweet car...Go home" As I drove by the Supra, the tow truck was just arriving... it's always good to hear "the first crew was unable to fix the transformer that blew in the street, we had to call in a specialty crew" (ALAN P) WWW.ALAN@NOWHERE.COM & (JEFF) WWW.JBOND@NOWHERE.COM ARE THE FIRST ONES FOR THE SAME-SEX WEDDING THAT STARED LAST WEEK IN SAN FRANCISCO'S SAME-SEX WEDDING SPREE. BUT NOW ARE GETTING A DIVORCE BECAUSE ALAN WAS IN THE SHOWER PLAYING WITH HIS 2" WHEN JEFF OPEN THE SHOWER DOOR TO JOIN ALAN WHEN ALAN SAID O MY GOD JEFF YOU DON'T HAVE A DICK BECAUSE JEFF IS NOT A HE BUT A SHE. * rone scratches his head what the hell is that. someone posted that, twice, to talk.bizarre. an ftm? bizarre indeed! yeah.. and I learned the hard way that KY is your friend I like the short name but I have enough fun with BI as the acronym for my group at Looksmart (Business Intelligence) the weekly "I'm the bi developer on call" emails are amusing. *** Signoff: jesus (Killed (ircd.servercentral.net (Nick collision (new)))) it wasnt the jews after all! i let you sit on mine next time i'm in the bay area pants. [root@crud:/usr/ports/Mk] 30# pants. pants.: Command not found. didn't work, sorry. You know, it's a bad sign when somebody has an accident with you, and their insurance company calls you asking for hints on how to track them down. my sex life? error: division by zero A computer game addict in western China collapsed and died at his screen after playing the popular online game Saga non-stop for 20 hours, a news report said today. I guess he failed his saving throw [pompeii] [~] vi /tmp/a "/tmp/a"Segmentation fault MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE (HLN) - A Memphis woman was arrested and charged with first-degree murder after she bludgeoned her boyfriend to death with an iPod. you know, it's sad when Quicken suggests that Sam's Club is a "scheduled payment" so this guy is in my store, talkin to me, his young girl (< 4 probably) is running around like a chicken with its head cut off im watchin the kid out of the corner of my eye. dad walks over to pick up a game off the shelf, kid comes flyin down the length of the store and SMACK runs right into her father she then proceeds to fall over onto the floor *THUD* so im in shock naturally, but she starts laughing, gets back up and starts running again her father looks at me "she does that all the time" im like haha, wtf you could hear the doppler effect on the kids giggles as she ran towards daddy getting louder, getting louder, getting louder, smack usually if im near the kids, i threaten to hang them upseide down by their feet and usually they dont list. so they get hung upside down by their feet until they promise to behave. you should try an electric cattle prod well im sure parents would be opposed to that they dont seem to mind me hanging the kids upside down tho got rear-nded quite a bit tho Drive C: is 93% fragmented. It is recommended that you defragment this drive. ALISO VIEJO, Calif. - City officials were so concerned about the potentially dangerous properties of dihydrogen monoxide that they considered banning foam cups after they learned the chemical was used in their production "It's embarrassing," said City Manager David J. Norman. "We had a paralegal who did bad research." The paralegal apparently fell victim to one of the many official looking Web sites that have been put up by pranksters to describe dihydrogen monoxide as "an odorless, tasteless chemical" that can be deadly if accidentally inhaled. friend in Austria: "I can look into their routing, right over the air. I could even flood their OSPF with lotsa /32s, if I wanted, authentication is in plain text, not even a meager MD5-hash in sight." To: elmerfudd2@fudd.net Subject: Thanks for installing RealPlayer! FUCK YOU whoever did that. the sad thing is, I'm faking benny's home network, in my home network Q. How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Three. Two to hold the ladder and one to hammer the bulb into a faucet. Network: 208.36.122.32/27 vlan 334 Default Gateway: 208.36.122.33 HSRP Reserved: 208.36.122.34-35 Usable IP: 208.36.122.36-64 Broadcast: 208.36.122.65 * marcus ponders this yeah every few months I think I'm a lesbian and I log onto irc then I'm like damn real life men are attractive aren't they and I log off of irc again West Virginia Governor mad of Abercrombie and Fitch T-shirts that say "It's all Relative in West Virginia" i cant believe my boss insisted on getting a blackberry anyway instead of a treo now he's wondering why he's gonna have to pay $200 for a ssh client and $1000+ for corporate email integration actually, i can believe it A Michigan man attacked a sheriff's deputy by swinging his tiny French poodle on a leash at the officer, the Detroit Free Press reported Friday. The 5-foot-8, 226-pound suspect, a 37-year-old Shelby Township man whose name was not released by police, was arrested after a high-speed chase. He then rammed a deputy's car and then came out swinging -- his tiny poodle. i was found coming in a goat "Bush/Cheney '04: You can't change horsemen mid-apocalypse." everything i hate in my wife i love in my cats. they stay out all night, they come dragging ass in in the morning, eat, won't let me touch them and go slepp all day i now have exactly 0 credit cards i got credit cards at lower interest rates goats make poor sushi goddamn linsux is braindead sometimes ok most of the time heh. France has added two new threat levels.. "surrender" and "collaborate" taner is founding egay, where you can find your perfect match, online and bid on them People who attended Saturday's performance at Glassport's memorial stadium quoted performers as saying, "There is no Easter bunny," and described the show as being a demonstration of how Jesus was crucified. Melissa Salzmann, who brought her 4-year-old son J.T., said the program was inappropriate for young children. "He was crying and asking me why the bunny was being whipped," Salzmann said. I think american express is employing 16 year olds or something someone called I said I dont really talk to credit card companies who call me, is it important should I call them back and she goes "uh" .. so I said something and she giggled and said "oh so now you want to talk to me?" Inbox 6490 Items i hate being a manager sometimes. oh boy, i had a war with a pen and the pen won although quite a few of my men have said they hadn't realized they were gay until the started dating me The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation was created in 1982 by a small group that originally came together as a an informal support group for problems that were the result of traumatic experiences at petting zoos as children. http://www.goat-trauma.org/ WAREZ JIMMIE "I was worried about all those goats that kept congregating outside my house at the new moon. Thanks to the CGTF, I've learned how to construct an effective Goat Repellent System for home defense" -- Fred R., Salinas, CA traumatic experiences at petting zoos? I don't think it was traumatic for kids... maybe for the goats when jimmie was around... son of a bitch. the term is "puppy" Craftmatic Adjustable Floor-Whore A particularly accommodating female sexual partner When I'm horny, there's nothing quite like hopping on my Craftmatic Adjustable Floor-Whore. how would one of those look? ask reid According to the "Free On-Line Dictionary of Computing" 'cyber' refers specifically to sex chat. thats what it means to kids. that's what it means to adults too * sedriss cybers novak no you don't in my day we called it "ts" tinysex, because it was done on tinymuds This is another of those things that I'm happy to know nothing about. Although I seem to have taken a step backward today. hey marcus, last weekend at my bbq, i had a slightly tipsy naked 18 year old in my lap and thought of you. ... rodney; last night i had a slightly tipsy naked 30yr old with an 18yr old's body in my lap but i wasn't thinking of you now this is classic our admin IM'd me and asked me to come into my office because airborne is trying to deliver a package now, an airborne package being delivered to this office could only be for the salesidiot that works at this office and he's sitting at his fucking desk! dell's website just added 20% to purchase price instead of taking 20% off Dude... I was wearing my All Your Base shirt...and someone pointed out the craziest thing "Somebody Set Up Us the Bomb", when read Backwards, is "Bomb the US (united states) Up Set (upset) Somebody" * callas really doesn't care what anyone on irc thinks short of a solicitation of an opinion that elicits relevant advice damn you are like a cross between tober and tay i saw some redhead chick wearing a tshirt that said 'FIRE BUSH' the other day * > smb mario and luigi beg to differ. A cosmic single currency for use in financial transactions between Earthlings and extra-terrestrial civilizations has been unveiled at a conference on unidentified flying objects here at Sofia in Bulgaria. "We are offering the galactos as a means of payment between planets. It will represent the Earth in financial relations in the Cosmos," Kiril Kanev, chairman of the Bulgarian foundation on cosmic intelligence research, said Sunday. hahahaha said isp just told me that for a pni we have, its my responsibility to connect their gear to their patch panel oh. my. god. I stumbled into a client who had a rogue employee who fucked everything up, they hired another guy to come in and fix it.. he bought hardware, and software including a new netfinity server (ok.. expensive but not a bad box), and he bought MS Small Business Server. well they had already a Win2k domain, with SQL and Dynamics (some crapy CRM that microosft bought, when they got great plains) and they wanted the SBS server to be their new exchange server. well SBS is extremely restricted, it has to be a domain controller, it has to be at the root of the domain, and if either isn't true.. and you have to install the whole SBS instead of just the Exchange server.. and if you don't follow all these rules, the server will send messages to all, that say it will shut the server down. at 60 minutes, at 30 minutes, at 15 minutes it sends messages to everyone then shuts down the hardware. You are currently exceeding your Yahoo! Mail storage quota by a very large amount. You are only allowed -2048.0MB of storage but you are currently using 4.2MB of storage. Your account has been temporarily disabled from receiving new messages. LESS THAN THE PRICE OF A CUP OF COFFEE YOU CAN FEED EFUDD you feed me, dork. reason #108 why i love irc can someone help me? i can't get rid of a virus i got from irc Dude. If you meet a chick on irc and then you hook up with her and she gives you the clap, that is not "getting a virus from irc" *** az0 has changed the topic on channel #netledger to My pid is Inigo Montoya. You kill -9 my parent process. Prepare to vi. * jimtree cleans up his office it takes a while to dissasemble and pack 70+ mr potato heads * rodney smells burnt electronics coming from a 1u dual xeon that sounds bad WOODBURY, New York -- (AP) -- Some 300 teenagers waged a food fight in their school cafeteria so fierce that educators had to call police to help them restore order. When asked by the newspaper what was on the menu, district Superintendent Terrence Olivo replied, "Whatever's on the floor." holy shit that ass is fine err hi. Anybody else notice google has been slower? benny is running some sort of poker analysis tool on their cluster we have a group called application & security services the ASS group * Jon2 sits on paige * Paige gets smashed. * marcus takes advantage of paige while i'm underneath jon? oh you said you were smashed i thought you'd been drinking er a goat? paige: apparently jimmie bought a goat off ebay and named it in your honor... someone else named a goat Paige once. they said they named it that because it sucked really good :/ and then it died. BLACKSVILLE, W.Va. - Warning: smoking in the toilet can be dangerous. A portable toilet exploded Tuesday after a man who was inside it lit a cigarette. * tinman looks at his goat. DAMN IT! i got a girl goat! i wanted a boy goat. canadian dogs go 'ouif' so we went into some backwood town and they had never seen a persian before. I turned the accent on and told them all I was muslim. told my friends to tell them that I didn't know I was drinking beer and that they told me it was wheat soda. got free drinks for 3 days as we were leaving I turned the accent off and went around thanking everyone. ha ha, dan savage calls goth girls fat. i'm sure he's already drowning in hate mail. Being hated by goths... now there's a challenge. now, should i just IM my boss "I Quit"? I DIVORCE YOU I DIVORCE YOU I DIVORCE YOU that'd be funny Recommend an item! * 1 person recommended ROYAL AG10X Heavy Duty Crosscut Paper Shredder in addition to Computer Shopper [MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTION] I fucking love amazon.com :) <@jeff> finally got a chance to fly the little model airplane that my kids got me last year. Took me 5 or 6 flights (and romps through the woods to retrieve) before i figured out what I was doing... Turns out, a UPS truck will do a shitload of damage to a model plane, and I'm guessing that there's a UPS driver out there somewhere who needs to change his shorts he flew the plane into the windshield of the UPS truck lost a bra size? that's like losing a limb i'm purging old credit card receipts, and found evidence of jamie. first date 10/4/03 fucked her on 10/11/03 she was easy. >#netledger> so were you yeah well. WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission said on Wednesday that it declared effective Google Inc.'s (GOOG.O: Quote, Profile, Research) registration statement for its initial public offering. There are no channel registration services on EFnet registration hmm oopsie I didnt know that trigger would work here It heads off the lusers wanting channel services I need registration aww, you turned it off already *chan*registr* channel registration? There are no channel registration services on EFnet it was triggered by "exchange" and "registration" in mp's paste I will turn it off for here... I dont think anyone here is unaware of that fact ha ha. The Hilton Narita has MIDI hold music. MY ASS HAS FINALLY DECIDED TO EAT MY HAND! YYYYYES IT HUNGERS! that fuck is down to 12 dollars. man, I'm sore tonight labs are usually pretty eager to please mork: Yeah, my friend in TOkyo has fiber to the home, $50/mo or so 100mbit you bandwidth whores i miss the 1200baud bbsing days now everyone's a packet kiddie, a warezpup, and a pornpurveyor 1200 baud? thats nothing, i remember 300 baud days...... you whippersnappers acoustic manng I used a 55 bps teletype we were lucky when 110 bps came along 55bps... you were lucky i remember having to carry individual bits between machines manually luxury.. I had to assemble the nibbles into bits before carrying them between the machines uphill boath ways oh yeah, in driving snow, barefoot ;) i remember haging to get up in the morning, half an hour before i went to bed, scraping up enough electrons to represent one bit, pay my boss for the privilige and carry it to the other machine barefoot through broken glass, and you try telling the youngsters that and they wont belive you I have learned with some things you never ask why I have picked up patients with barbies in places barbies shouldn't be humans do weird things huh and I went :O lol barbie i bet they went :O too try calling that in over the radio......yeah doc I am bring in a thirtyfive year old caucasion male with barbie in his butt hard to keep professionalism sometimes LoL did he get to keep the barbie? so was he talking all normal? or was he at least a little embarrassed I don't know I dropped him off and left ASAP he was actually very talkitive, explained great uses for a good many items :O All of which I would neither advise or ever even think of on my own um excuse me mam, but can i have this barbie removed from my bum now? i wonder what his kid thought you would have to wait in the waiting room on your side The hardest part was when he said he didn't use ken cuz that would make him gay sorry, drama was last century. welcome to wimper i actually compiled bitchx for a juniper :( i was enjoying my gushers im all for a good blowjob, goat or otherwise In other wacky news, my daughter just asked me "Daddy, is there a lady Hitler?" i have a dildo on my monitor oookay big purple dildo this guy in my office is so full of shit he took today off because he thinks someone in ultima online reported him to the fbi/cops for stealing items out of his in game vault eventhough he doesn't have the guys account info. date a cirque employee like i did it gets you in easier ;) maybe you can date the same one! as flexible as they are, i bet it is easier to get it in rodney so how WAS the strongman? a blonde mating call is "i'm here" red head is "i'm drunk" and brunette is "i'm on ghb" i've been here for about 1.5 weeks now on the first or second day, i was like "what do you mean theres no vpn?" i never thought i'd be doing the rear-ending :( i always thought i'd be the one getting slammed [root@britersen:~]# cat /var/run/dmesg.boot [root@britersen:~]# dmesg [root@britersen:~]# pete you suck mnwarren balance $49.40, bet $1, collected $1.90, net +$0.90 [ As Qs ] [ Royal Flush -- As,Ks,Qs,Js,Ts ] WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH headlines gone wrong: "Cox to probe deeply into Bush matter" * rodney stares at 2 semidressed brunettes. i feel like marcus, without the thg i tied my brother to a tree at the edge of the dump and laid pork roast's at his feet the bears loved him great my old boss lost the password for our code signing cert what kinda positions do you need? i can do all sorts of different positions i bet, send me your portfolio missionary....doggie would you pass up sex to play eq2? only if i was close to leveling or on a quest Wrong answer, asshat. ok, there's now more phone numbers for hookers in my phone than there is for normal girls maybe i need to re-prioritize i think i found the source of the latency problems on our dsl just maybe its the usenet server that someone plugged in outside the firewall someone has a secret pr0n site stashed in the equipment room, marcus? cute marcus of course right now the latency is back to 12ms and i dont see any real activity on the news server but wtf man ahhh thelatecisack gah ahh the latency is back and now it seems like the usenet server is doing 50-100pps wtf are we running this on our dsl :( i'll bet you an oz of gold the US won't crash hard by 3/06 just found out I made some great free money a couple of years ago sold my lvl 65 EQ cleric to a guy for $600 he gave me the password and continued to let me play sent me e-mail yesterday and told me he quit EQ and I can keep the character * FlashMan thinks about selling him again flwr's for sale? i always knew she was a whore mp: flwr is for sale. 1.69/month. i am on teh market you are defiled flower has been deflowered. now she's just a babe :( buy my latest book.. I'll place a call then for ya. "The joy of sex with farm animals, by mUnChIe" ordered. that's "blow up farm animals" thank you very much. The popular reality show Animal Farm has been setting ratings records in recent weeks after the death of one of its contestants. what the i love that show! Todd, who was a claustrophobic, died after being locked inside a crate for three days as part of a 'Face Your Fear' challenge. A quick post-mortem by the Animal Farm's expert coroner . which was performed live on national television . has confirmed a massive heart attack as the cause of death. is it on in the us yet? the guy died??? oh it sucks he died I guess he doesn't win Some critics have labelled its producers as insensitive for keeping Todd's corpse on display after his death, but host Mindy Maleen defended her show. "We've donated $10,000 to claustrophobia research, so I can safely say that all of our consciences are entirely clear," she said. HAHAHAHAHA > hahahahahahha we're gunna leave his body out here, but we gave away 10k!!!! I am not wearing a dress! I'm wearing a floral print skirt and a silk blousse. Sheesh. i like it rough report rodney for being a cock sucker? i think pp allows that no one ever reported me i did for sucking cock? i told pp about your pp sucking you did? hahahaha worst lie ever on cheaters, guy approaches his gf and another guy and the other guy is going down on her in teh back seat... he runs off when he sees the cameras, the bf is like WHAT THE FUCK and the girl is like "what, we were just talking!" and the bf is like "WITH YOUR PANTS DOWN? HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN!" there needs to be an irc version of cheaters like maury style if you think your irc man is cheating on you, hire a sexy decoy to join a chan with your man and cyber him all while it is being logged Ooh, the milk chocolate melts in my mouth, not in tinny's hand * tober slurp * flwrbabe would prefer a hard phone over a soft one what sympathy sex? i have a bruise on my ass I vote for whoever gets me laid. so, you don't vote? Board: [ 9c Th Ah Qh 5d ] $210 pot drGonzo [ 5h 9h ] [ a flush, ace high -- Ah,Qh,Th,9h,5h ] Seat 3 [ Kh Jh ] [ Royal Flush -- Ah,Kh,Qh,Jh,Th ] TIME TO GO TO WORK *** roneQINIX (rone@boredom.ennui.org) has joined channel #best Despite all his rage he's still just a rone in a cage!! man, you will pay for that. Doh! Our turkey was locked in my sister-in-law's car. I had to call AAA. A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding. Officer: May I see your licence? Lady: what does it look like? Officer: its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it. The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer. The officer opens it up and says 'if you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over.' there are about as many ircds as chinese people on earth * tinman hits on FlashMan err. FlufEBuny nick complete =( "The French Government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide." The only two higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaborate." " heh, our virus marketing boy had a job offer from claria (the spyware people) - he said it was like looking into the eye of sauron from LOTR. ha ha. ok, this hurts my head. I just got mail about a "brown bag" presentation, of which my group has had many. This one was by our administrative person. Apparently she gave a presentation of "HR and phone functions". Ow. Ow ow ow. i'd be asexual for you rodney Where are you working now roneQINIX? * Micromus is googling qinix equinix. it's where our colocation cage is. they know that caging rone a few times/month keeps him real. I'm not sure why he isn't chained to a radiator there. no radiators, probably. That's too bad. They need a suitable replacement. yes, no radiators. just the delicious din of the HVAC chain him to a rack I'm sure rone can be rack mounted with the correct bolts. i think he's been mounted before. and how. wow, neck bolts for rack-mounting sound like custom bondage gear to me. if you have a frankenstein fetish, maybe recipe: rare pelt, rubber ball, buckle -> ball gag for justin unix: WARNING: Core Power Supply 0 Failing unix: WARNING: status 'fail' for '/SUNW,UltraSPARC-II@8,0' on board 4 unix: WARNING: status 'fail' for '/SUNW,UltraSPARC-II@9,0' on board 4 * rodney has his own problems CPU Module status: OK: N Cache: 512 Speed: 400 Version: 00000000.bad0dead slashdot on goog: "One recent hire had 14 interviews before getting the job" ... and it was a janitor! heh i have that problem too Then I had the following conversation with a floorman at Bay 101: Sam: Hey, has it been a couple of weeks since you were last here? Me: Um, yeah. Sam: Is this a picture of you? He shows me a picture of me leaving the cage after cashing out the last time I was there, taken by a security camera. Me: Yes... Sam: The cage shorted you $1000. Didn't you notice? *** Signoff: rodney (Killed (mp (requested by kate))) benny'll do anything a chick tells him to do. my current "DR" plan is a 6pack of beer and about 4 hours of me typing. bahahahahaha Trillian 3.0 shows how long someone has been idle underneath their name and one of my friends it says "Idle for 35 years.." RE: Ted Turner comparing Fox News to Hitler A FOXNEWS spokesperson responded: "Ted is understandably bitter having lost his ratings, his network and now his mind -- we wish him well." feh. time to go to the vet. Looks like Rone found a way around skyrocketing healthcare costs. To offer up a flimsy excuse I was up till three last night and the resulting exhaustion has dulled my motor skills. I hit the spell check on an email hoping to correct my butchering of the word "inconvenience" and hit the change button purely out of reflex upon its erroneous suggestion. I just sent an email to a half dozen coworkers apologizing "for your incontinence." Budweiser Select...is that like when a redneck dresses up for dinner? what kind of happy new year is this year of the cock, baby. oh good lord someone across the office is talking to her grandson who apparently caught a snail (on the phone) and she keeps going "grandma will touch your snail" "go play with your snail" grandma will touch it god our cat is such a pussy he keeps getting his ass kicked by the kitten whenever he tries to establish dominancy then he runs to me wanting to be held he's not a small cat either wahahahah yahoo has a banner ad with valentines day all around it and a search box with prenuptuial (bad spelling mine) agreement in the search box Ferris tells Qeynos_Crafting (1),"doh, my wife was making my son pb&j on a tortilla and didn't notice she bought japaneo tortilla's" I want the t-shirt that says "40,000 battered women in this country and I'm still eating mine plain?!" someone kill mp for me he uh spammed The Microsoft Exchange Information Store service depends on the Microsoft Exchange System Attendant service which failed to start because of the following error: The operation completed successfully. i wish all errors were so useful :/ have you considered that maybe the source of their duplicity is you? wtf is duplicity it a city made out of duplexes Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken. well, you can stil get one from a strange country tober< I'm home now but my luggage is somewhere in Paris still... I think my itinerary today was NEU->AMS->CDG->DTW->SEA jake: Good lord, what was your itinerary? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh MPLS == Multi-Plane Luggage Swapping heh. Terminology Changes: - The previous term "rule" is replaced with "filter." - The previous term "blacklist" is replaced with "blocked senders list." - The previous term "whitelist" is replaced with "allowed senders list." what? you mean "rule", "white", and "black" shouldn't be used together? There's about 4 things that really piss me off about linux. The VM is one of them :) I talked to linux, and it's not all that happy with you either it shouldn't be yeah karl it hates serving underage sheep porn xney's on the lamb again I'm not saying demon has issues, but he sent his realdoll back 3 times for gender reassignment the transexual midget fisting porn i have is disturbing i want a cell/pda/cam/portable game system that fits in an ear bud and projects onto my retina doesn't nokia have one of those? only in labs why would they put it in a dog? easier to train than rats if i'm ever single again (i doubt i will be), I'll just engage in meaningless sex. it's only meaningless to you.. think of all the goats you will hurt in successive hands, 10 high straight flush, four of a kind kings, set of kings snap aces, set of 3s, kings, kings full i quadrupled my limit bankroll buyin oh, and i just flopped top two pair rainbow board I dreamed I was having sex with a hawt chick last night. And then I woke up. And I was sad. he makes ME wear the goat mask when he is feeling jimmie'ish riend i would beat you a woman without a crisis is a woman on valium i'd think squrl could give rodney oral without really even noticing it him being asian and all Dear linux world: why did you invent kernel herpes? Isn't there enough herpes without that? it's an Open Sores think. heh. a friend at work got some e-mail reminding them of some post-work activity. some dude replied to all: Steve: FYI: Thank you for the reminder but I have chosen to resign, but I have not announced it yet or even told Mark yet. I am trying to keep a low profile until the end of next week until its a good time for me to make the announcement. diamonds are forever. cause you can't sell 'em for what they're worth. play with the head and see what you can figure out :) tosh``: at least one of them knows what a Klein-bottle is klein bottle? wtf is that Exactly. I rest my case tosh: http://kleinbottle.com/ wtf this is chemistry crap i thought it was something cool i thought it had something to do with calvin klein or something Yes, it says keep out of eyes and don't swallow. I think I can manage that! Heh. YOU CAN DO IT YOU CAN DO IT ALL NIGHT LONG!!! i'll take what are things jered will never hear a woman say for 200 alex plurus who'd name a network company after an abdominal disease? [talking about Drew's home poker tourney] i think us ladies should play naked next time my ear burns eve: too much aural sex! I have a friend whose girlfriend's first name is Irit (pronounced like "eereet") speaking of pictures i got new pictures are they pictures of you losing to an 8yo kid in a spelling bee? [discussion about a gorilla] todd: what else do you think tosh thinks about 99% of the time? I'm sure that has pretty much used up his entire brain for at least a decade. maybe flashes of boobies.. but mostly.. gorilla vs. polar bear. dem: It's more the realization than anything. It does make perfect sense. what? you guys never wondered about stuff like this when you were younger? no yes.... when i was 12. Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it? todd: did jesus's multiplication of the loaves and fish defy the law of conservation of matter? or did he coalesce the stuff out of energy, star trek replicator-style? i got something to eat. that's all i know. rone: Clearly we need some Trekkies to debate it. and rub the whole breast with some butter or olive oil, salt and pepper mmm feeling like a dirty counter top ++ wtf is your domain toshmysalad.com I love guys and dolls believe me, jerking off is never a matter of luck. *kellly* i'm still amaxed at how toog i tgpe when i'm tdrunk *kellly* myfacat is all numb jessicas boobs are amazing.. woah, she wasn't supposed to hit 'enter' > HAhahah BAD JESS my elbow keeps hitting them... she's all red and laughing sure it does 281 1176 61567 19 0.00% 0.00% 0.00% 0 OSPFv3-666 Hell after all, jesus said, "love thy white, straight neighbor." A post sent to a list via an email reply or forward appears with a prefix character of ">" before each line in the message. Please let me know the cause of this problem and any recommended change to eliminate line prefixes. ha ha.. the AC guy was just here "uh.. both the heat and the AC are running at the same time" - oops. "Hi, Dennis. Did Dad tell you that I got a new computer, the tower has an ASUS on it, is that a good one?" oh the pain.. the pain.. A shocker from the Drudge Report: Mel Gibson's next film will feature abundant violence. you know, for the lord it's HOLY violence. praise the lord and pass the ammunion! ammunition even. i like 'ammunion'. it's like a cross between ammunition and communion. through the miracle of transubstantiation, this bullet becomes the flesh of our savior. My stepdaughter writes: ``my teacher, who is Czech, for good luck she spit on me and then said something in Czech. Then I had to say something back, which translates into "go to hell."'' As it turns out, the nfs-utils package adds an account for "nfsnobody" that has a UID of 4294967294 (-2 expressed in 32 bits) for 64-bit systems. The useradd utility expands the size of /var/log/lastlog to encompass all possible user ID's, and the terrabyte-sized file is created to handle a UID that large. We're looking to change the bevhaviors of nfs-utils and the useradd utility to stop this from happening in the future. The changes should most likely fuck it... why does today suck so much every day is worse than the day before.. so every day is the worst day of your life. that's why. hmm, this guy is claiming that his crontab is magically vanishing every night. crontab suicide? "i don't want to run jobs anymore! waah!" it's going on cron welfare found the problem.... he would run "crontab -l" and see nothing. turns out he had an empty file in his home diretory called "crontab" that was executable, and he had . in his path. [playing kitty launch] oh the bitter irony my cat hears the cat mewing from the game and is now mewing back at my computer without realizing the mutilations i am doing on his relatives OHH THE HUMANITY! * rone sees "Two opportunities to buy stock" in work e-mail, deletes it, then undeletes it as he realizes it's actually from one of the HR drones damn spammes r titties! no titties? sadness. awww get your own I gots my own doesn't mean I can't want more squrl, you have enough for you and 2 other chick yow. "I got my car today and honestly, I love EVERYTHING about it. No problems what so ever, knock on wood. Brakes are perfect, no odd noises, car handles beautifully. The only thing I noticed is that even at a complete stop, the tachometer needle is never at 0 or close to 0 RPMs. At a complete stop, the needle's just under 1. Is this normal?" -- Kelli I dated a woman who called it the "taco-meter" - it apparently measured tacos. hey, this job I'm interviewing with "requires excellent spelling and grammer skills." - I imagine I should be able to handle that. ha ha. HELL YEAH BITCHES er wrong channel but i guess it works here too it's like when you go out to a party with a friend who's a huge raging asshole, you look like a nice guy in comparison...that's canada why isnt there some sort of kitty heating pad jeanne just uses an ordinary heating pad with a towel wrapped around it for her kitty heating pad I just put 'em in the oven. that works you put your cat in the oven? better than the microwave no no, I put my head in the microwave to get a tan. i luv it when marketing guys talk to customers without anyone from engineering around. "Marty, we told that we could do this easily on a 2.4 linux kernel. How soon can you make that true?" heh heh. marketing rules. marketing idiot here has his personal email set to flood back auto-responses out of his spam software. I tried to explain to him that our anti-spam software would declare his anti-spam spam, and then blackhole his address.. and it didn't sink in. "This is how all spam programs work!! are you telling me symantec is wrong!!" <-- his response wahaha How Long Before They Surrender to Themselves? "French Countryside Hit by a Massive Invasion of Frogs"--headline, Independent (London), Aug. 21 * jennr pets xney * Xney3 pets jennr wow xney and jennr, sitting in a tree disinfect i n g ? at least American dad is in English, but I can't get Family Man either those shows suck! what?! you are nutso "can I have something to chew on, fuck bamboo, whatever" hahhahahaha there's a weird stillness out there tonight. everyone seems to be in a collectively pensive mood. they're thinking about me tossing salad i'm sure haha I said they were pensive, not erect. i don't think that would cause an erection with anyone here cept maybe Arian hahahahaha 11:40 very little 11:40 barely felt it poor rone :-) WOW nice our accent neutralization trainer was having the class read the scripts from the exorcist and full metal jacket, they got to practice saying faggot, blow job and slut among other wonderful terms. I get to fire someone today cool. f34r the wrath of 33n my daughter got the game of "life" for her birthday. she played a round with my wife tonight. i overhear: "i need to get married. i'm not gay, so i marry a guy. right?" Unfortunately for Bush, he could nominate his Scottish terrier Barney, and some conservatives would rush to defend him, claiming to be in possession of secret information convincing them that the pooch is a true conservative and listing Barney's many virtues -- loyalty, courage, never jumps on the furniture ... depends on what you need to monitor :) i'm using mom we had heard that its pretty good you mean shes pretty good? * bun-bun runs SCM just sent me email with account information on a server i'm supposed to set up for thm. unfortunately, they forgot to tell me the NAME of the server. * martyBorg sighs * rone breaks down and tries out the SBC Web chat thing Ian Jones: Hi Ron Echeverri. How can I assist you? "Ian Jones"... right. more like Mohandas Kumar. een-vita's themesong is "Don't FUCK WITH ME ARGENTINA!!" Mick Jagger: "I don't plan on touring forever... even if it seems that way. I want a secure retirement, and that's where Goldman Sachs comes in." Keith Richards: "Hslbsdxzt qlsdfyts. Fdsgh plt." this morning's resume delight: "I am seeking an opportunity that will allow me to utilize my excellent experience and skillet ..." "I am very excited about joining your organization and working with you and the other outstanding individuals I have met." - uhh.. gah? Bonus points: Heald college. "Made software new release;" - with semi-colon. i like it both ways i had fun with the written exit interview questions: "How would you improve palmsource? Fire the VP eng" monday is the worst, because crap piles up all weekend long and I have to issue orders. and then the electrician nearly brought us down. he was fishing wire through a conduit.. next to a 1 gauge 200 amp feeder cable. the metal pull tape friction burned through the insulation.... KERBLAM!!! yow time to get some better electricians it's the landlord's electrician. we can't use our own. and they cost 40% more than ours, as a double-bonus. I pulled something in the groinal region. hopefully just a muscle and not a hernia or something. you probably split your pants, too. Only when aroused. but that's a different problem. it's all AZN chix here. not a lot of boobie action. speaking of AZN.. did I tell my awesome capitol expressway rice boy story? I can't remember. some guy in a riced up civic yelled over to me in my miata, "is there a turbo in that?" - and I laughed and said no.. so the light turned green, and he took off - spinning his tires in both 1st and 2nd. ..then a motorcycle cop pulled out of the bushes, and turned on his lights. pulled him right over. I laughed. while :; do md5sum big; done 8e61682c00d0e3f7168b2224c12ff680 big 8e61682c00d0e3f7168b2224c12ff680 big 8e61682c00d0e3f7168b2224c12ff680 big 8e61682c00d0e3f7168b2224c12ff680 big f865ed62ed666abf369cd6a9319f7e3d big that's not good. saw the doc today gonna buy him a leather mask and a rack they always want to manipulate in the most painful directions well... both women and jello wiggle when you eat them Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.' * ronePTRAD tasers Arian I would think he'd be disqualified for obvious cheating. you all make me sad any reference to chuck norris should result in castration. but that woudln't make a difference in arian's case. hint: TV camera lights use 1000 watts each. these are bad things to plug into UPS outlets. * beakman imports production dumps onto his laptop h0h0h0 *** Signoff: beakman (Excess Flood) taking me down is hardly kicking my ass! # su - build Password: ummmm. DAMN YOU AL DAVIS I HOPE YOUR WALKER COLLAPSES naneserver 10.0.0.4 hmm. i think i'll go shoot myself now. I'm running a script called "CleanBarryBonds.sql" Girl #1: Oh my god! I just heard that Katie Holmes had her baby! Katie Holmes had her baby, everyone! Girl #2: Xenu commands you to shut the fuck up while I'm on the phone with my dealer. --6th Avenue & West 4th Street Yes, system is armed. Buttons are right by light switches on the inside of the server room by the doors, perfect spot to press by accident or lean something on them. someone i knew did that once it wasn't an FM200 tho just a power disconnect relay *BWEEEOOOOOooooooooooooop.......* Yeah, and those are generally instantaneous Our datacenter makes you press both EPO buttons for them to do anything. It's like launching a nuke. er, in mythology, what's the name of that 3 prong weapon thingy that the water god or whomever carries? trident and its not just mythology..its a real weapon :) grounded electrical plug? ikjjyhjj,mkjkghhnmht5tthkjm;/ tydbhvumcbngbvfcnjmdfvftrvfr5r5fbeb3h4jfmt ftyytdfgyh6t5tru4ednft6ryueryyiktk6klt k5ktff6r5uj4ert6jfrrfjffrgr6gfferd6ertegfdrt3yrgvfdtr nmlvv7iy6evrjyefvek,f6cgkrlht6rnkb7hkfmd.j,gtmhnbm7ymg I think hyde found the computer dniunyhunnu8hihoibn fdfginuniuofuhoijujcbvbiunfdnuiujnkl; fl;l;hl.h;yh'b'y;;yypt;h['g;t;l6pgtltplgtp5pfltotpt6p6ll.llfg.tf;y;tg.ltlhlhp ;hl[ ;./.b.b/.vb.b.v / lol, i was wondering what he meant when he said, mommy i wrote a letter my friend Tom administers the comp.infosystems.www.misc FAQ. he gets lots of questions. he just got the following: what religion is this website i personally think it is french??? "Closing bell: Adobe's 13.9% gain bolsters Nasdaq" investors finally got word they got rid of rone! "Polygamist gets 45 days for sex with teen bride" i think that headline is not very well worded. mysql> drop database sportdb; ERROR 1051 (42S02): Unknown table 'NBAGAMESTATSINDIVIDUAL' mysql> drop table if exists NBAGAMESTATSINDIVIDUAL; ERROR 1051 (42S02): Unknown table 'NBAGAMESTATSINDIVIDUAL' mysql> create table NBAGAMESTATSINDIVIDUAL (c1 int); ERROR 1050 (42S01): Table 'NBAGAMESTATSINDIVIDUAL' already exists * beakman grumbles. from my friend in .th: 12:53 <@iNati> they cut off cnn!! 12:57 <@iNati> they put up some stupid sunspot interfering with tv bullshit 12:57 <@iNati> and yet hmm, only news channels are effected 12:57 <@iNati> this is comical IED is now Incendiary Explosive Dell? # Query_time: 205 Lock_time: 0 Rows_sent: 41217 Rows_examined: 1605529185 WINNER! ok so thats a first just got a call from a prison guy asks if i want to talk to inmate X sure whatever he picks our half a dozen games and a psx his mom is gonna come pick up heh they told travis henry the lines on the field were coke that's why he ran so hard from a web board: Programmer: someone who programs Developer: A programmer with ego issues Engineer: A developer with a budget Architect: An engineer who quit programming random bit of trivia: my daughter has the wikipedia page for the Care Bears bookmarked on her computer. She's 5. so there's a car accident in front of one of my clients offices about every other week some guy just got nailed about 5min ago so hard it knocked his car into the sidewalk but the person that hit him drove off! hah hah. what a loser. sucks for him, because he knocked his front plate off in the accident oh crap i just pourd beed on the dog we should have a "best tits on efnet" contest tober: I'm too modest to enter I have a client who thinks that, if too many radio receivers are turned on at once, ther ewill be no signal left for other radios to hear the transmitter. because the transmitter will be out of energy. [speaking about paula abdul after her failed ebay auction] But I'm just saying... if I woke up and found her in my bed, first I'd have her pinch me to make sure I wasn't hallucinating, then we'd have crazed weasel sex. we;ve all probably eaten something in our life we wouldnt have eaten if we knew what it was. "Welcome to the Visible Path Operations Knowledge Base, or VisiPOpKnoB." Todd: one time I loaned Tom McClintock $5 when he couldn't come up with his share of this 14 year old street prostitute we were going in on together and he totally paid me back. "I ran [a script] then hit ctrl-c when I realized I forgot to do something first. It started to try to erase my entire hard drive. # Catch Ctrl-C's $SIG{'INT'} = sub{ if (-e "$s_scratchpath/$s_jts") { print "cleaning up...\n"; system("/bin/rm -rf $s_scratchpath/$s_jts"); } die("Killed"); If $s_scratchpath & $s_jts aren't defined yet or if for any reason are unset when this runs, this code will run /bin/rm -rf /. " i think my eyes just melted im carrying on a convo in email that has the subject "sperm..." me: "Hey, whats up?" IT Guy: "Not much" me: "Hows the nagios system I turned over to you?" them: "Well it's ok but we turned off the paging feature, it was paging too often." me: "You're kidding right?" them: "Nope" me: "Have you thought about maybe a) fixing what needs to be fixed b) setting page times for unimportant items to business hours and c) disabling falses or fixing what causes any falses?" them: Chess World Champion misses mate-in-1 vs. computer somehow i'm not surprised to hear about a chess champion not figuring out mating. i am not prepared for such a big asshole :P What year did Visio buy Best? i want to see these balls in person shit. one time when i was ~12 i had my saxamaphone as a carryon. heres what the lady at the xray machien said , 'OMG what is this?' I replied, ' a saxaphone' , she goes, 'OMG its a gun!an assault rifle. SECURITY' even though i was thinking about being an offense coordinator for an nfl team You could probably do both. The NFL has an offseason. you could probably help the raiders, even being tosh tosh is qualified for being the Raiders OC. well i dont have experience running a B&B so i dunno if i could work for the raiders rone is just being ornery he's still pissed we gave him Aaron Brooks that's sort of like stabbing yourself in the eye and being mad at the guy who handed you the knife you LOVE the nurse that shoved the tube in your dick i had to pee so bad i didn't realize iw as standing IN a dead deer carcass A friend of mine said that "In Philly we would boo Jesus if he walked on water." a guy i know is interviewing with crackberry tomorrow i said, ' so youre trying to get a RIM job?' About the Site: * Transhumanism, AI, nanotechnology, and existential risk. translation: "* I am a huge wanker. Women shun eye contact." Ever feel like Bush is playing Sid Meier's Civilization, and he's wishing he built the pyramids so he could just shift the government into Monarchy so that he could start whatever wars he wanted? Me: "It doesn't compile, please revert." Someone else: "Are there any regression tests it fails?" Me: "It's hard to run regression tests when it won't compile. Board: 4d Qc 4c 4s 4h Players' hands: Player 1 : Ks Kh Player 2 : Qd As Player 3 : Qh Qs High: Player 2 wins $3807 with four fours. Proxim 8482-FC ORiNOCO Wireless 11a/b/g PCI Card Technical Details * One 6.5-ounce package * Made with enriched wheat flour and natural vanilla flavoring * 100% cholesterol free and sweetened with sorbitol * America's number one brand of sugar-free cookies * Creme-filled, vanilla cookies perfect for low-carb diets http://www.amazon.com/Proxim-8482-FC-ORiNOCO-Wireless-Card/dp/B00067AS4K *** lttlebear (littlebear@world.anarchy.com) has joined channel #Twilight_Zone you called arian? Karl was missing you * bun-bun snuggles up with karl and says not to get my fur 'dirty' again * Arian dies damn it wrong window I found the missing Iraq WMD's someone set one off in the office bathroom *gag* *die* I just heard the best story ever a friend of mine has used hookers 3 times in his entire life he's about 40 now he's feeling especially horny saturday night She's supposed to be some amazing looking student here from costa rica who will spend the night for $200.00 she has two family members in the entire US. one aunt in some other state and an uncle in CA They had agreed to meet downstairs, cuz he didn't want her to know his apartment number until he checked her out and stuff. So she calls as she's pulling into the driveway about half on his elevator trip down she tells him, "I can't come up" "What do you mean?" "My uncle lives in this building and he just pulled in behind me. I can't come up right now." "You only have TWO family members in the entire country and only one in CA--" "Yeah... this has to be an omen. I'm not doing this anymore." then she calls all her clients (including his friend) to tell them that they shouldn't call on her anymore his friend calls him up all pissed off, "What the hell did you do to her? She said she's quitting!" etc... shit i popped my realdoll NOC: Server down. SA: It's dumping core. DBA: Server is still down. SA: It's still dumping core, 43GB of 48GB done. I can abort if needed. DBA: Abort. SA: Ok, aborted. DBA: Please let me know root cause. SA: That's the point of the dump that you told me to abort... heh. an email from "Tom" Hope I ama not writing to wrong address. I aam nibce, pretty looking gairl. I am planning on visiting yaour town this month. Can we meet each other in person? Message me back at bp@FindMeDot.info tom's a very special gairl went to the doc to get some antibotics for this sinus infection today; once again he tosses in "thought about exercise?" "Yes you fucking indian. now give me drugs." Royals play-by-play announcer: "Alex Gordon ... down in the count there with no balls and a strike to Daisuke Matsui." <_Melody_> jon, frash couldn't afford to adopt me * Arian adopts Melody, then sells her on the black market wouldn't that be the asian market? WHO AM I AND WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH ME I honestly felt that sort of world-conspiring trash fatalism today; I looked out the window for 5 minutes and saw the recycling dude drive up, put out the arm, NOT STOP, pull it back in, drive away... then a dude U-turned directly *through* our trash cans. ok, so the cat sneaking into the bathroom and rubbing up against my leg when i'm pissing is not an experience i needed yeah, who wants that surprise? The cat should know to knock before doing that. does the cat smell like your pee now? jon2; some asian guy stuck his finger up my brown eye last week i stumbled into center camp one morning early visiting this girl who was volunteering and there was a freakin cuddle puddle of furries yiffing in there uh scarred forreals did they have hot paws no, they did not one had a suit made out of winnie the poos poohs even like, multiple winnie the poohs hacked together? yeah yeah, you just conviently stumbled upon it dont you mean you were IN the cuddle :P yiffing may be a national past time in canada, but here in the US it's just weird things you shouldn't hear/see at dentist: 1 - Dentist saying "uh oh." followed by "I'm not uspposed to say that." 2 - red water rinsing your mouth. 3 - significantly concerned eyes of dentist+assistant from 3" above your head. "Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer." -- Fred Brooks, Jr. i got an offer for $85k when i told the recruiter he was seriously and impossibly off in salary his response was "it's google. it's a privilege to work here. you should be proud to get an offer" heh, a google search correction worthy of language log Did you mean: "We'are sorry, this data is no longer available" What do you do if George Bush throws a pin at you? Run like hell, he's got a grenade in his mouth. PROTRADE Market ranks DCULP as the 0th worst Quarterback * rone punches beaker It's all a liberal conspiracy against Craig funded by the New england Patriots that's kinda funny arian hey, your team is in the cellar with mine we haven't lost as many games yet so we're a bit above they're still falling from the steps into the cellar At least we have a real QB are you sure? our winless QB still has a better rating that your meat-of-the-week this is sort of like a UFC fight between cripples yeah, meetup is the LARP version of myspace I flirt with you for five points of damage! i regret to inform you that i have put pants on. the world mourns your enslavement "By installing Java, you will be able to experience the power of Java" when I think fouts, I think "backdoor action" and 1% synthetic banana flavor, which is oddly reminiscent of a synthetic lubricant i use on my bicycle you've tasted your synthetic lubricant for bicycle use? For those of you who can't seem to save enough for rainy days, here's an explosive concept. The Japanese toy company Tomy has created what it calls the Savings Bomb. A piggy bank designed to blow up if you don't put money in it regularly. "Justin Timberlake bringing sexy back to PGA Tour" That's truly a sports headline for Beaker. beaker carries a torch for JT. you just want high def sharapova tits. hell yeah :) couple others too used to be that i prefered womens.. it was slower play.... easier to see... some of the mens stuff moves so fast that old SD you'd just 'lose the ball' but HD is different looks like i have ~ 4 inches. my boss brought his pc in from home and it was so infected that I can only suggest that the competing viruses were stopping each other from bricking his pc they ought to have put bhutto in a popemobile. luckly you have replacement popes it's a little different we can rebuild him. we have the technology. ROBOPOPE! John Paul II.5 Rises from the grave to resume search for Sarah Conner "Come with me if you want to live forever." "In nomine patris, e spiritus sancti, GET TO DA CHOPPAH" does kim know you spend so much time thinking about my mom? Fort De Soto Park, Florida -- New information has been released regarding the sperm whale that came into the mouth of Tampa Bay over the weekend. u know ur house is too cold when you wear a scarf to take a shit Fawesome, some n00b rebooted a live DB server today. Her excuse was simply "It wasn't on the do-not-reboot list I have." That's it, no other reason. She must have been reading up, since she's new, and thought "Hey, I'll practice using these tools. I'll just pick a random machine not on this list, these few servers must be the only important ones." hey, the only person to ask for a G4 here got fired. I noticed your background and thought you may be interested in finding out more about our new job opening, which is pasted below for your review. The position is for a Windows Software Engineer in Palo Alto, CA. I'm apparently replacing fouts. [15:46] hey chester, can you please order a metal chair when you order the cabinet? [15:46] i broke this one here at EQ [15:46] apparently, it can't support my weight when i jump down from the top of the cabinet to plug in the new PDU from another channel I'm in, one devoted to skepticism: > the neighbors in the house behind mine spank each other with a ping pong paddle in the bedroom. > i want to tell them that there are so many quality toys available online, they don't need to resort to a cheap ping pong paddle. > maybe i'll get them one and put it in their mailbox. > it's not very spontaneous, though, they do it most Wednesday nights. > also, why Wednesdays? is it their work schedules? or is there nothing on TV they like that night? http://www.alleyinsider.com/2008/4/microsoft_swallows_up_danger_reveals_organ izational_complexity Marty is in org hell i like the way that URL broke microsoft_swallows_up_danger_reveals_organ FaceBook: Join network "Got Syphilis at Digg Party" y/n? Filesystem 1K-blocks Used Avail Capacity iused ifree %iused Mounted on /dev/ad0s1e 507630 328068 138952 70% 65790 0 100% /tmp no inodes in /tmp is his, eh? aye. > ifree 0%? > oh you only have 65k inodes? > 65k inodes is not nearly enuogh for a 500MB partition thank you, doctor unix. > hey I'm not the one running out of inodes, man! heh. mmm, memfs /tmp > inodes are not being measured correctly by LIBOR, obviously there is no inode inflation problem. * roneGBOX prints out 65k more inodes here, have an inode. here, have 300 inodes. think of it as a filesystem stimulus package. "Can you use grep with a regular expression?" ah, i love n00bs. yes I am totally down for da yiffing mmm new lube smells good so one of my buddies who i'm staking in the WSOP sat next to "Strong Wang" yesterday now he has "Zelong Dong" at his table. "who wants to learn about using protection?" CyanB: I don't get it. I can undo a bra with one hand in less than 5 seconds. but only if he's wearing it... we went to three of the training rooms today and held up a MAC address on big piece of paper and said "if this is your MAC address, we know you are downloading monkey porn. please stop" whoever it was, stopped i'll probably oil it up and rub the fuck out of it tonight I think that we're going to read a blessed scroll of genocide and say "newspeople", just after the election. sure, it might anger the gods a bit, but so be it. Works for me. I'll bring the popcorn do genocide scrolls work against fungus? 12:35 < Advant> How long is a 1000 word paper ? I think thisis my favorite. 10:19 < Advant> If red, green, and blue mixed together make black.... Could you take a red led, blue led, and green led... shine them on a single spot and make it appear black ? obama for america replied to my request asking how I can donate without being spammed.. with a complete non-answer of "please donate." heh, bizarre conversation going on: "I'm just too high!" "Let me pump you a bit." "Sit on it and see how it feels." "Oh yeahhh, that feels nice." some people in the office like to sit on those big yoga balls instead of chairs. apparently she was having some issues with hers and someone was helping. heh what one man calls 'sloppy seconds' another man calls 'she's just gotten warmed up' JEEZUS CHRISTOS I'M GOING TO BE A FATHER ok...that passed I'm having spurts of OMG isn't that how you got into this? sjc-chuegen-881(config-if)#ip nbar protocol-discovery sigh. * FlashMan finds power cord (CNN) Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele says his party is going to launch an "off the hook" public relations campaign that will update the GOP's image by translating it to "urban-suburban hip-hop settings." I await the Palin pics with her "Thug Life" tattoo across her midriff I should send Flashman a pop-in gold and zirconium mouth grill. we use live meeting. i strongly recommend it as a way to destroy your sanity woopsee just realized that plugging in an old sunpak monster flash into my d200 via sync cable = bad ~ 200v trigger into an interface that's expecting .. 12 *fry* but damn, that thing throws some serious light CSS11503# show group Groups: The Group O O /|\ _._ \ O _._ /|\ (o\_)=="=# | \/ _> | (\_)="=# |\ | [_] __[_] | /| |/ | | / \| | \| ~~ /|\/|\\__/|\/|\ ~~ uh ok. If you haven't had sex with at least 100 guys, don't even bother hitting on me. My wife got some, way back when. Query_time: 18446744073709550 heh I'm kind of realizing I need to move from farm team side of the company to real team side of the company sometime to stop from going nuts ops to engineering? :) the folks who run shit for the core of the company are _very good_ plus they get the neat preproduction toys you work with cows and goats? [about Renee] here's a picture of renee and her new flame: http://tuwanda.com/reneefilipe/reneefilipe2008.jpg she's cute. hook me up when she ditches his ass! :) oh, she's your daughter? hm. maybe I shouldn't have said that. apple has 10% of the market....homosexuals are 10% of humanity... coincidence? wow. coworker gave me a backpack, and theres a thong in it. XL. :/ i sent him a note saying thanks. and that i hope he doesnt want it back because i threw it away. I guess Eagles players are pretty excited to have Michael Vick. That seems to be the main message. you think they're excited? feel these nipples! Just heard from a friend who named his daughter "Koala Tuesday Liindsay" d00d, the 60s are *over* we just got home... 81 inside. I CHOOSE YOU, HVAC-CHU! sprint is doing the same thing with the palm pre. you cant transfer your grandfathered items. Grandfathered would be nice... I mean, it's pretty silly they charge extra for SMS, which puts no load on their network. it's load, just not proportionate to the cost. OK, miniscule load. in my pants * beaker casually sucks out nutrino's miniscule load. <_Melody_> ron, I ordered mah pipes crack pipes? John Scalzi: "MINUTE 30 OF GMAIL OUTAGE THE CITIES ARE IN FLAMES AND PEOPLE EATING PETS TO SURVIVE. TO FUTURE GENERATIONS: WE MEANT WELL" google was pissed because i didn't know my college gpa that still cracks me up d00d that was 30 years ago fouts: You should have told them the papyrus was lost in a fire on the Nile You are currently monitoring 10 hosts, however your subscription covers only 14. Your subscription needs to be updated to cover at least -4 additional hosts. Synopsis: Critical: seamonkey security update what the fuck. [12:19] khufure: crap. [12:19] khufure: cat /dev/mem | strings | grep -i llama [12:19] khufure: my ram is full of llamas. SELECT finger FROM hand WHERE id=3 * rone gets a ticket to close accounts for a user terminated in April, submitted by the user's manager who himself was terminated earlier this month * rone resists the urge to set the system on fire A pizza with the radius Z and thickness A has the volume Pi*Z*Z*A today's MSFT surreal moment of Zen: GM: "We can't ship until YOU fix this bug." Me: "Can I add this debugging code? " Shiproom: "NO" hah. Poltergeist DVD rip is 6.66GB wahahahaha a co-workers mom just called him and asked what "Tossing the salad" meant hrm, one of our products is causing a DoS on another. haha. rolled my eyes at our dir of communication today during a meeting. he got all update because the coffee pot gurgled, and he said he "lost his concentration" what a fucking baby ew, the offer letter box they ship out yodels when you open it. * beaker goes to hurl. the temporary cube i'm in has 250 rubber duckies in it i'm disturbed. toss mah salad [17:04] -bash: shitemon: command not found [17:05] some typos are funnier then other Haha, that reminds me of a quiz held in the US, where a girl was asked where the country "Turkey" is located. And her face was like ":O", "TURKEY?!, haha thats a country?!" man that scared the crap out of me she was making this squeaking sound like she was in pain I looked her ass and it was all swollen and red Eat it. fragile means "drop kick" to ups. I've got a fever. And the only prescription is more late-night rone. don't get a fever then i mean, vim? seriously? when i started on UNIX, vim didn't exist. when i started on unix YOU didn't exist :P a friend writes: Me: "what browser are you using?" Co-worker "I'm in The Google." [23:59] fairybekk: i love a good competition [23:59] fairybekk: but only when i'm winning phxpyropixie: you know you're a geek when you see a keyboard on someone's desk, and want it glad I don't have to deal with that database problem anymore "ohai I just fuxed your slave" Hmm, that usually has a different context for me. glue gun ftw. yeah, but hot glue is a poor substitute for hot candle wax if you're trying to be kinky fixing the hummingbird feeder isn't, afaik, a prelude to kink oh god we are trying to name our team (developer/portal operations) and I have to shoot down DP Ops without explaining what DP is to these nice japanese ladies >.< This is a great bit of advice to developers: "$DEVICE crashes occasionally when using wav files that are too small. Make your wav files 2kb or larger." Next: "$DEVICE (same one) crashes when using wav files. Use ogg format instead." Right after that: "$DEVICE will occasionally crash when using ogg files." To sum up: "You're humped." man, the bear trap in jamie's sleepysuit always comes unbuttoned and it makes my butt cold :/ An acquaintance just posted a headline from a newspaper: "MILF braces for FAP offensive." warning: 'gycry_t is deprecated, use gycry_t' * aDe sighs instagram: "$33 per user and no revenue" i guess step 2 of the underpants gnomes plan was "get bought by facebook" oh gawd. "Project Management for Service Engineers" and the slide deck is caveman themed. ... what "planning lets caveman hunt moose but you would be prepared if you encountered a mastodon" what we need is 'fountainhead earth', bringing together Rand and Hubbard in the unholiest of books. [15:23] khufure: dont try to type bears safety into google [15:24] khufure: you'll get safety information on bears man what a day at the office I. Am. Bear. er... Beat. A Galaxy S III owner in Ireland is reporting that his newly-purchased phone burst into flames, exploding with an audible bang while he was taking a drive yesterday. and Marty is curiously absent today. What I was gripping yesterday was no myth, buddy that's not what she said. i'm behind on movies. still haven't seen moonrise kingdom. is that one of the teen vampire flicks? [18:18] Rebecca: i dunno. im pretty basic. [18:18] Rebecca: i want a really powerful orgasm and then i wanna go vacum. Seconds_Behind_Master: 1677286 someone just said 'questionable mounting options' in this meeting I like some backendy whatever stuff I am interviewing a hardcore CCIE he has "CCIE" on one set of knuckles and his CCIE # on the other I mean damn son yep... i switch into anal mode from 8-5pm. omg FactsAreuseless: There's a machine I don't understand at my gym palecur: FactsAreUseless those are girls oh ghod. my latest bug requires me to watch an episode of Frasier damn weird unviverse now you have a mystery on your hands yeah it will never be solved oh, i just solved it (sure it's nethack related, suuure) [11:44] phxpyropixie: oh, i haven't done a priest in a while [11:44] phxpyropixie: i'll have to try that he was one that i kept in the house as he had no sisters and brothers as a duckling he was a good fuck ACK! oh god our sweet older-lady new hire tech writer just sent an email about "editing $DOC for external fluffing" but setting the vendor on fire will give you some warmth and will also make the vendor useful one last time. Or one first time. [12:31] fairybekk: but also, there's only so much room in this brain for information woo hoo 1.4 50mm ordered! I am almost a real camera boy! siddown, pinocchio. hmm, now to figure out how to store this so nobody steals it german white, chilled already i have space in my wine rack I was thinking more "for the rest of the day" sounds like you're supposed to drink it they obviously know your tastes chilled german white is pretty much what it takes to date Xney We need antisql. "no" isn't enough. nothing like giving yourself a stroke on a Monday morning TMI, buddy. "Skype is being updated. Current version: 2.8.0.851. Updated version: 6.3.0.602" i guess i haven't used skype on my mac in a while Dem has many layers of bosses like onions i'm ssh'd into an altoids tin. not the future i expected. Do your fingertips get minty? no, but the bits have a pleasant odor "This is Ron." "Hi, i want to talk to your manager." "Umm, OK, what about?" "I'm a customer." "OK, well, how can i help you?" "My wife had an infection after eating there and..." python -> /usr/local/bin/python2 python2 -> /usr/local/bin/python2.7 python2.7 genuis. typo considered appropriate. oldest stepson, 22, his name is Nick he married Sept 2012, wife's name is "Brittany" we refer to the pair of them as "Brick" (as-in, "Brick are coming over") they had a child six weeks ago. Her nickname is "Bricklette" I like shooting people "In a text today I said "I ate pupusas." Autocorrect changed it to "I ate puppy's ass." Oh autocorrect, why are you such an endless source of frustration and entertainment? [22:56] fairybekk: I’m getting more coffeedent my Bears-loving sister's dog is named Staley, and that dog's dog-best-friend is named Tebow. funny story: a few weeks ago there was a kid on our floor every day.. running around like a maniac.. trashing all the whiteboards, leaving garbage/filth every where, etc. No one could figure out who the parents were.. so one of the EAs finally trails the kid in the afternoon.. turns out his father works on the floor below us. his response to "why is your kid on the 2nd floor?" was: "I didn't want to be distracted." It annoys me that the HR 800 number hold music is a muzak version of "never gonna give you up" - it's like a double troll. "call this 800 number and.. rick roll" Apparently the puppy likes books. This is not good. Asheville is supposed to be another beer Mecca mecca. heh. if you mean a bunch of noisy bozos walking in circles around a rock