Please do not duplicate the content of this file.  Part of
the fun of gathering quotes is seeing them for yourself. 

Karl
Wed Dec 30 22:04:12 PST 1998

-----------------------------------------------------------------

*sQurl* well, I had it up, so only the tip was wet

*sQurl* that almost succeeded in getting a blush out of me
*sQurl* I'm not kissing
*sQurl* er kidding

*sQurl* hey you trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me
-> *squrl* No, now shut up and have another beer

*<jill>: his is long in back but not so much in front

*sQurl* sheep aren't for blowing...

*sQurl* god do my knees hurt
*sQurl* guess I spent too much time blowing the goat eh?
-> *squrl* yeah
-> *squrl* you should practice more technique
*sQurl* hey, I had knee pads on
*sQurl* so I only got rub burns instead of the amount of skin that would have
  gotten torn off
*sQurl* and several bruises including across my palm..
*sQurl* hey!
*sQurl* no, I didn't blade then
*sQurl* and you know damn well I'm talking about blading

(bill typing as FRL)
<RedLeader> Larry needs to understand what batteries were created for
<RedLeader> wait, no, I like a good penis
<RedLeader> long hours deserve long orgasms
<RedLeader> WE WANT MEN WHO CAN GO MORE THAN TWICE

<MsKathy> I am quite happy with my beaver

<jonathan> in fact.. i'm typing one handed right now..

<LoverMan> Benny came on IRC for a second and then went idle.
<Cryo> hogan, happens when you get older

<toonz> mae-west1#sh access-lists 1
<toonz> mae-west1#oh shit
<toonz>           ^
<toonz> % Invalid input detected at '^' marker.

<benny> gimme a cuke!@#$
<benny> er cube

<nothing-> I better not go, last time I got drunk I ended up with a collar on
  my neck.

<rodney> The blonde's gaze freezes you in your tracks!  Her breast hits!  Her
  breast hits!  Her breast hits!  You die...--More--

<lump> i'm a 3 input woman

<MsKathy> we have minds on the upper half of our bodies
<nick> is that what those things are?

[talking about piker]
<lump> oh, and i got off too
<lump> i named one of my vibrators after you
<lump> the small one :P

<benny> I can ALWAYS tell when she is coming
<benny> er
<benny> I recede that

<Magik> WHO ON #TZ DOESN'T WORK AT BEST?  Geeez

<Taner> My server is JACKING OFF

<bpk> so you guys like go over to each others' houses to IRC?

<MsKathy> i think i am ging to go lay don
<MsKathy> uhhh.. down even

<nothing-> <WirelessIRL> This guy is SLOBBERING on the phone!

=squrl= *suck*
=squrl= er duck damn it

<manda-> benny..no , i have to put gas in my cat then go to ami's

=sQurl= I NEED RELIGION!
[referring to civ, of course]

=squrl= truthfully, I don't give a shit if you quote me or not
=squrl= once it comes out of my mouth it's public property

=squrl= I chewed the first penis in half that night

<Cryo> I make a great woman

<teletype> i pase ontu no the livign room flro

<todd> my little girl just got a brilliant idea... that she should pull out my
  chest hair and put it on my head

<Rogue_F> Ami's breasts are public property.

* Nada has wasted more of his life, both chronologically and in terms of
  effort, memory, and though, on IRC for no discernable gain that he cares to
  admit, recount, or enumerate in anything so trivial as single digits;
  exponetial notation preferred.

[phag = benny]
<Dice:#best> MsK: You should talk. ;-)
* phag:#best licks dics
<phag:#best> er
<phag:#best> dice

<MsKathy:#best> how big is it, Chriz?
[referring to his monitor, of course]

<Rogue_F> Damn, it.  I hate it when chix don't want to talk about certain
  subjects because they aren't 'girl' stuff.
<Rogue_F> Yeah, that sux.  I like try to talk about disembowelment with chix,
  and they just like clam up.  LIke it's not a 'girl' subject.

<Harvester> i don't spread easily :P

<Wireless> I prefer high-powered business-women... they're probably tougher in bed... 

<Tas> piraeus - i think everyone can get laid eventually - look at jonathan

<Tas> Let me make this clear - NOBODY on this channel will do me!
391 irc.best.net Monday August 5 1996 -- 13: 58 -07:00

<Demon> *yip* *yip* *yip* *yip* *yap* *yip* *BANG* NO TERRIER

<bpkDISSED> well you can only swallow so much

(in referenceeee to a NIC card)
<marcus_> Warning! Defective early revision adapter!
<dog3> heh
<dog3> ignore it
<dog3> the early ones have firmware bugs
<dog3> it causes them to "stick" in promiscuous mode
<_Jolo_> dog3:  sorta like ami?  ;)

<FlashMan> one should never try to operate my gate whilst holding a woman
in your hands.

<sQurl> hey karl my penis isn't still at your place is it
<sQurl> er..

<comstud> Barron- Even if prae fucked her [ami]...don't you have
 to feel something to lose your virginity?

<sQurl> ok, I'm REALLY sick of vibrating

<Silek> Taner, please. Barron can only do so much. He's got the whole toilet
  training down, expeting him to go back and read is really too much.

<lump> of course i sk0red

<jamesk:&best> msg cryo mmm, chocolate shake, mmm

* Sedriss eats some penis

*Dys* you are Karl Denninger, correct? (I hope I am right and not making an
  ass outta muhself)

<Rogue_F> Ami should draw little faces on her breasts so people can talk to
  them and not feel bad.

<amanda-> I NEED SOMEONE TO DO
<amanda-> I MEAN SOMETHING

<sQurl> I need to get laid anywhere

<Arian> I'm vibrating my ass off

<comstud> My poor little pathetic penis!

<mrsprae> not as big as when he got a breast pump stuck to his forehead tho

*** Cryo has changed the topic on channel #best to "Oh my god, it's a BOOB!
  Let's get married!" KaffyRL talking about some geek

<sQurl> there I go, opening my mouth n getting laid again

<UnL0vD> i came at the wrong time

<benny> lump tought me what fellatio was .. on her desk..on friday ;)

<brian2> newz: yo mama so big, when little kids yell 'kool-aid!', she comes
  crashin thru the wall

<Kanan> The word of the day is, NNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnO

<Tas> Kanan - can I blow you?

* lump is the head queen.

<Tas> I really need to buy another vibrator :( my last one got worn out and
  now my hands are getting tired :(

<amanda-> oh good, he didnt see :P
<amanda-> or feel anything

<sQurl> WHY am I sitting here with duct tape stuck to my chin?

<Try> someone asked me who the leader of IRC was, so they can get to the
  bottom of theis "connection reset by peer" thing

*MsKathy* hmm.. it almost fits

<sQurl> I am NOT typing with my tits

<lump> i just bought milk, batteries and condoms with a straight face

<sQurl> I FOUND MY OTHER FUCKING KNEE PAD!!!

* pirsleeep is in love
<pirsleeep> wonder if I can trade my wife in on a Sun Ultra

*** Xney3 has changed the topic on channel #Twilight_Zone to <marcus in RL> "I
  have three vibrating devices on me, and I think one just went off"

* lump is gonna be a mommy.

<sQurl> ok, it's play with random body part night

<sQurl> I can SEE what's going into it..
<sQurl> it's what's coming OUT that suprises me..

<toonz> craig's parties are just turning into orgy fests

<lump> someone is banging on my floor

<sQurl> taner yeah....actally I've got a bruised ass today
<sQurl> but last ngiht was fun =)

<lump> he put an ice cold coke on my boob!

<butnik> hmm is someone ping flooding me
<butnik> oh im downloading IE

<Rogue_F> asamonte = 3432:06:52 [hours spent on irc in '93]

<butnik> i dreamed i was irc'ing in the showeer
<butnik> i fell asleep int he shower
<butnik> one time i almost said 'me slaps kate' (my sister)

<benny:#best> i drabj akk the 5er if sierra nevada'
<b00ber:#best> "I drank all the 6er of Seirra Nevada"

<sQurli> I've got guys licking creamy white stuff off my face =)

<comstud> I did Ami on top of the irc machine.

<sQurl> yes I'm fucking blonde

<lump> i actually beat him!

<Dice2:#best> *** Topic for #romance is: (brian2) I JUST CAN'T SUCK ENOUGH

=squrl= I'm blonde, I have tits..
=squrl= I could be a secretary with my typing skills =)

<bpk> jack daniels ois youi friend
<bpk> bpk ghshot coung: 6

<hasbeen:#best> I was suppose to go to school tonight!

<MsKathy> the sole purpose of my life is not to get laid

<Cryo> ok, so I'm a dork.. this is new?

<madbomber> i wanna go do squrl

<Di-work_> if I try to kline *@* I get *** More coffee, perhaps?

<lump> i just got on mandy

<lump> i'm living with forrest gump

<Taner> there were like chicks practically IN the speakers

<marcus> i want a man with a big router
<marcus> actually
<marcus> a woman with a big router would turn me on too

* lump rams his tongue down your throat.

* mr_bill just wants a geek grrrl who's into oral sex and sendmail

<sQurl> gah, my nose is frozen!!!

<sQurl> heh, making me jiggle isn't hard..

*sis* you are sick. very fuckin' sick karl. very very very fuckin sick

<sQurl> mike's sitting there with his pants COMPLETELY unzipped

<rodney> BARELY LEGAL LUMP ENTERPRISES LIMITED.

* madbomber feels the woman in him

<Jon2> a female geek that likes sex AND makes kitty noises

<KaffyNUN> I will never sell my soul to a man

* sQurl watches dianora beat Xney into submission with a hairbrush

<douglas> IM STILL LOOKING FOR THE QUEEN OF MY DOUBLE-WIDE TRAILER

<KaffyinRL> [emphatically] but I can still swallow!

<rone:#best> i wonder if getting dillon laid might help

<Barron> you in the mood to eat rodney tonight bill?

<sQurl> I am NOT domestic

<sQurl> you think a banana can satisfy me!?!?!?!

<Demon> sQurl can blow me then, bause I'm Doug, and I'm outta heeeeeere!
<sQurl> NO COME BACK I'LL BLOW YOU!

<Blakberry> and i am cheap hehe

<Barron> my cat is a GEEK

<benny-> Tas: get drunk with me and beat my children
<benny-> er bear

* FlasherZ makes amanda cum
<FlasherZ> err
<FlasherZ> come 

<rodney:#best> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
<rodney:#best> Mycrobe$loth found my resume

<HugeUglee> acualy
<HugeUglee> err aactuakky
<HugeUglee> DAMNIT
<HugeUglee> actually

<FlashMan> Rezz just gave me the greatest blow pop I have ever gotten

<madbomber> IVE BEEN EATEN BY A RABBIT DEAR AND I CANT GET UP

<FlashMan> she saw one she *really* licked. 

<marcus> its holding my goddamn serial port hostage

<sQurl> pp/me thwaps XNey
* sQurl tries to type
<sQurl> my first thought ont hat was..there's more than one of me?

*sQurl* I dunno, whatever sounds good to you
*sQurl* I'm easy today

* MsKathy worships Karl

<Xney> we only support domains starting with "waka-waka-waka"

<sQurl> it's one of THSOE typiung sdays...

<benny> netcom is retarded

* persis takes out her vibrator and tells marcus to go fuck marsha ;)

<benny-> persis: you are supposed to be impaling yourself on that dildo.

<ROadruner> karl, craig is in bed getting some.

<sQurl> You see here 2 melons.

<brian2> "HERRO, I AM HAVING PROBREMS WIF MY R00TER!"

<lump> everyone thinks i'm some arab male

<Snowpaws:#best> just started crack

<Snowpaws:#best> hehe ... crack doesn't seem to work on solaris

<sQurl> ehsy str uou doing in lodon psybner dear?

<nothing-> how did you know I'm not wearing pants?

<Cryo> this is going to make masturbating.. difficult.

<Phisher> my x-gf said "give me 9 inches and hurt me"
<Phisher> so i fucked her three times and slapped her

"Indeed.  Misconfigurations just got harder.  So sue me." 
- Paul Vixie

<Harvester> thank you for not pinging me... I am sore.

<MsKathy> it's not like we can come on IRC and say "I WORK FOR BEST.. YOU WILL
  GIVE ME OPS"

<sQurl> *I* wanted to be on top

<sQurl> I just blew a diet coke all over the living room

<errata> which Odif? there are probably 50 or so running around by now..

<cdyBest> I get postcards from crisco
<cdyBest> I give them to my rat for bedding

<sQurl> U hyst gir email from my brother
<sQurl> I just got email from my brother

<sQurl> let me just get the leash

"With a name like fag, is it any suprise it goes down all the time?"
- Harley, referring to TLG's mail server

*** Kaffy has changed the topic on channel #best to <Sam IRL> I'm surprised we
  don't have more customers that have killed people.

<jonathan> So, are you in high school?
<amanda-> Uhhh...yes.
<jonathan> S'ok...so is my girlfriend

<frash> You know what one lesbian frog said to the other lesbian frog ?
<frash> "Gee, we DO taste liek checkin"

<sQurl> damn it karl <sQurl> you made me choke

<sQurl> you can give men up wihtout giving sex up..

<Jon2> i'm sure squrl could fuck and play diablo at the same time

    "People want to be able to hum a song after they listen
    to it. I've had people come up to me and say, 'You know, Pete, 
    I hate you and your band, but I can't get your fucking songs out
    of my head.' I'm like, 'Thank you very much.'"
- Peter Steel

<sQurl> I wanna penis...

*** Schrade has changed the topic on channel #best to <MsKathy> You're suckin'
  me dry, mom.  You and dad.  [IRL]

<Kanan> no Xney, kanan will NOT get laid

<sQurl> no my penis is small

<Kanan> I'll last what... 20 minutes? heheh

<sQurl> wow that long huh?

<seussy> mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm fratboys

<sQurl> PLEAASE let it come back up...
<sQurl> YE!#!@#!@#!@#!@#!@#
<sQurl> IT CAME BACK UP!@#!#!@#!@#!@#!@

<sQurl> Xney....well, occasionally begging helps...

<sQurl> shit I lost a nut

<sQurl> *I*'ve killed enough squrl ghosts

<WintrHawk> you know... 100hz is the resonance freq of a chicken head
<WintrHawk> a power company found that out the hard way

<marcus-> dalv: the vibrator is built into my phone

"I'm a videogame addict. I could have written 15 more records in the amount
 of time I've spent playing Doom."
-- Nine Inch Nails frontman TRENT REZNOR, on why he's written
   one new song in three years, in Spin magazine.

<TanerHOME> want a lick?

<rodney> i like my men slow hard and deep

<Kanan> hey, I'm very gifted at turning women off :)

<Tolim> You should try some of this cum; it's cool
<Tolim> er, gum 

* sQurl plays with her taco

* sQurl crawls around under the desk

<sQurl> I NEED TO DOMINATE YOU

<sQurl> Xney: figure out some way to keep it up all day

<sQurl> I can't handle large balls

<sQurl> heh I had my pager sitting next to the mouse
<sQurl> and I tried using it instead of the mouse

<FlashMan> I HAVE SEEN A HOT SMART CHICK

<Twazard> ewwwww... I can imagine piker..." shit, no more icing to put on the
  cake.... hey! I know what I'll use..."

<JJay> when piker finally comes, the whole of calif. is gonna get pregnant 

<marcus-> do i look stupid enuf to buy a newton?
<marcus-> and dont answer that

<sQurl:#in-line> what do I want?
<sQurl:#in-line> meat

* Taner wets his panties

<FlashMan> OH THAT FUCKING HURT
<FlashMan> I was trying to kill a mosquito and missed and hit myself in the
  nuts

<Psybre> large chested woman on sunday afternoon is typically a good thing

<Phisher> we took a screen shot of this guys nt desktop, made it the
  background and moved all his icons off the desktop
<Phisher> now anything he clicks on wont do anything

<rodney> marketing has the blonde, business development has the brunette

<Phisher> she wasnt really a slut tho
<Phisher> just confused

<Jon2> irc chiqs RULE

<sQurl> karl wanna help me find a small one?

<sQurl> karl, let me know when you've got what you want...

<Monkster> I feel very scared all of a sudden. I just called a tech support
  company, and their hold music is "Everybody must get stoned"

<Jordy> who thinks i can loose an inch in 3 weeks?

<errata> jennicam is better than no sex

<Rez_> i kept jumping out of bed with an errection.. quite embarrasing.

<marcus> he was strapped onto my back

*Harvester* I got it from kathy... thanks

<sQurl> some one give it to me

<morkeleb> anyways... i gotta blow

<fabled> at least someone beds me.

<Psybre> you gotta respect a chick who can double-fist herself :)

<petett> I was trying to use petey
<petett> but some gaysex guy nick collided me

* FlashMan and Jill want to show off our balls

<FlashMan> we got our balls drilled, then we chased some top nuts

<fabled> kaffy cannot pick you up if you do not let her know where you are

<_Melody_> I'm wet now.. arghh
<_Melody_> I hate being wet.

<MsKathy> actually, I ahd a strange dream about larz and t^ last night
<MsKathy> it was a discussion about toothbrushes..

<MsKathy> Keith just came to my cube this morning..
<MsKathy> he was like "hey.. this guy is coming here today and I wanted to
  know if you would mind spenidng some time with him" 

* seussy saw a hot boy with no shirt last night@#%
<seussy> i want him now@#5

<amanda-> sorry, i will quit licking ppl

<seussy> I GOTTA PEEEEEE

* seussy orgams cause marcus pets her

!billn*! heh. Now showing! Mr_Bill as BDSM Ruxpin!

<benny> its kinda big.. will it be able to fit?

<benny> you know, I still cant get over the fact that xney is getting laid

<amanda-> gimme some madb

* sQurl testes her mail some more

* marcus looks damn good in some lacy VS stuff

<sQurl> and I am NOT fisting my bf

* jayk hands seussy a beef stick

<FlashMan> my hand doesn't hurt as bad as I thought it would

<benny-> X: sheep are like tight

<marcus_> bennzo, didnt you move to ks to sk0re?

<seussy> mork. take me take me

* persis is a bay product

<Harvester> stick it anywhere near me and I will bite it off.

<marcus> I AM NOT AN EDIBLE SUBSTANCE

* sQurl starts a whorehouse

<cdy> (at least, I've never been denied) :b

<benny> erin was good

<grrata> exit I'm just a girl...

<Carolyn> set it to vibrate :)

<sQurl> karl- take marcus karl shopping and watch it at his place =)

<errata> I hit my power switch with my foot.

<rodney> wireless, the only boobs you'll get are the ones of a 400 pound man
  when you get anally penetrated

<FlashMan> come over andhlep unpacket

<sQurl> the sugar wasn't worth the sucking

<MsKathy> I don't just come on demand!

* seussy sucks on her bottle

* persis oh babey that feels good...oooo jon...mmmmm

<PetrDoubt> I got WINE working.  :)
<PetrDoubt> Crashed my machine a couple times, too.  Very realistic.

* amanda- should really lay off the coke

* Caine listens to his stomach growl.
<Schrade> Wanna chew on my pink thing?

<amanda-> i'm scary when nude

<FlashFL> I need some  chick trhat wills dodo me

<FlashFL>  i wznnz fuckyou

<jimmie> i'm suprized igot on irck

* DrManda shakes as she puts down the crack pipe

<mr_bill> xney3: no, I just have a woody coming on for no particular reason.

<piker> women type drugs = credit and chocolate

<sQurl> EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

<seussy> flash what exactly is it that you do at bay?

<Harvester> as a female friend of mine used to say, why drool over meat you're
  never going to sink your teeth into

* ParaGod slings his ircd penis around the channel.

<lump> we gotta stop talking about it and get it done.

<butnik> 21" is too big for me

<sQurl> heh I think I like the floor better now...

	"All those college kids, that go see a band like No Doubt
	and thrash about in a pit, need to go see Obituary."
-Trevor, of Orbituary

<sQurl> I need a good petting right now

<mr_bill> my car may not go real fast, but it sounds awesome.

<madbomber> comstud you here?
<lump> he's behind me

<morkeleb-> what's CDA (lame question)

<Rogue_F> karl, kathy's got a lot of battery operated 'girl technology'

<Schrade> Just what I need to put me to sleep.. the melodious flatuation of
  bile demons.

<amanda-> well, i 'get' it off

<amm> I blew up a $590,000 spectrometer today
> you did?
<amm> xney: yeah, but its covered under insurance
> amm: you're just good at blowing things up, catchign things on fire, etc.
<amm> cdy: I quenched an NMR 700mhz magnet which caused an explosion in the
  computer room destroying all the sparcs in there :D

* madbomber corkas

<madbomber> I SPANK THEREFOR I YAM

<sQurl> tober- I couldn't open my mouth wide enough to put one in =)

* Dianora_ *SMOOCHES* jill *PASSSIONATELY* until her false teeth pop out.

<sQurl> I am going to turn into pudding soon

<immortal> maybe thats why I'm going blind

<FlashMan> Checking to see how big your integers are...
<FlashMan> Your integers are really really big, you hunk.

<sQurl> craig- mark says he can give you what you need tomorrow

<Pickaxe> you can't control the squrl
<Pickaxe> trust me

<sQurl> piker- stil can't suck hard enough

<sQurl> I'm sticking it in my mouth

* sQurl makes squeakathump noises by herself

<seussy> pet me

* sQurl decides it's a little breezy with the a/c on

*marcus-* you seem to be using my normal nick...

*** rodney is now known as Monistat7

* sQurl blows her keyboard

<sQurl> hey, the seats in my car go down

<Schrade>  N   17        alt.toys.my-little-pony
<Schrade> OOOOHhHHhHh
* Schrade gets all excited
<Schrade> my little pooOoneeeyyyyy

<amm> ironic
<amm> I have robey complaining about a bot

<Cypress> i need jimmie

<Rogue_F> is larz playing with nipples again?

<sQurl> damn I think it's time to find a new boyfriend
<sQurl> karl just informed me he's allergic  to me

<FlashMan> man, do I have gas.
<FlashMan> I could probably fart enough to provide heat to a minnesnowta house

* marcus is as crooked as an old stream

<sQurl> you better not be 69ing jimmie karl...

<FlashMan> squrl - you wanna page me when you're close?

* Taner pokes tamara

* madbomber dickslaps comstud 
<comstudly> hm, did i just feel a small breeze?

<jimmie> I WANNA SCREW

<Kanan> *MrWiz* you want me to talk to DeeCee. get your pretty o-line taken?

<jimmie> YOU HAVE TO COME

<errata> Size counts.

<carrar> jimmie, buy a harley, chicks dig harleys

<jimmie> pease locked me in the closet.

<Rogue_F> comdud wont be afraid, ami's already stretched comdud to capacity
  with a strapon

*** Xney3 has changed the topic on channel #Twilight_Zone to "I may be drunk,
  but I'm not a lesbian!" - Amanda at party

<Barron> I just made persis' tits my background

<Ice_Nine> Matrimony isn't just a word. It's a SENTENCE.

<Demon> I grep my cats all the time.  They love it.

* rodney gets a female-female adapter

<madbomber> chix with more pubic hair then me are scary.

<sQurl> nah, I was gonna say I'm so cold my nipplez hurt =)

<madbomber> tamara warez the pants in the relationship i can see

<Jon2> lovely.. i sent email to our web development people telling them to be
  more like cisco.. and i got an autoreply back from some guy saying 'as of
  Aug 1 i am no longer with the company.'

<jimmie> i'm in shape, round is a shape :)

<jimmie> someone give me a goat
<jimmie> i ran out

<jimmie> how would i catch the suck?

* sQurl drips a bit more

<Schrade> 6255  6254  2080  0   0:00.54  9:57AM  ttyq1    nnpost
  alt.sex.exhibitionism -s Need a Quick Blast of Nut ?? -f nut_letter.txt -d
  World -p -y The Biggest Tits on Earth -k tits jugs sex fucking fuck hooters
  anal blonde black asian oriental cunt whore
<Schrade> I love our users

<sQurl> fuckfuckfuckfuck

<sQurl> ok, I will personall hunt down and murder anyone who smurfs best
  tonight

<fable> karl and jill are porn stars

<jimmie> i cant keep it up!

<T^>  *frumpy!~noexcuse@NS.fyi.net* perhaps if you spent as much time
<T^>  keeping your servers linked as you did /killing for vanity, two of YOUR
  OWN
<T^>  servers could possibly stay linked *sigh* <Tue Aug 12 20:43>

* LarZ just nailed a few of his clients
<Kanan> damn larz, promiscuous arent we?

<Barron> I fully support opering women that give sex to Admins

<sQurl> rodent I may be, but gerbil I am not

<sQurl> why I couldn't I find a guy who LIKES being gnawed on

<Barron> half the employees here are virgins

<jimmie> *Blaxthos* EYE WANT TO STROKE MY COQ WHILE SEEING YEW WERK

<LarZ> that lined up just right so that I thought blax was msging ME that

<mskathy> relationships are great!

<mr_bill> even if I DO have to go and set up her entire network tomorrow, but
  that's love.

* sQurl takes off da shirt to see how bad things really are

<marcus> i think i gotta give microsoft credit for finally getting it right

<Blaxthos> 7206 == ISDN Router ?

<Schrade> Sammy's that chick that ruined Van Halen, right?
<Schrade> ;)

<dem-> you must admit, "smurf attack" is a pretty amusing phrase.

<sQurl> I want a hummer

<_Melody_> this cold rain is doing weird things to my nipples. :P

<FlashMan> BE GLAD YOU HAVE HAD THE HONOR OF ME DOING YOU

<marcus> squrl is more psychotic than most of the chicks on this channel

<rone> yes, best wants to be on top.

<Kanan> bah, and wutt do I need a woman for?
<Kanan> Hell, I have an entire city that sucks my cock
<Kanan> hohoho

<butnik> alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.hornyrob! 1-80204
<butnik> rob bowman?

### KILL for DeeCee. Cypress (danks)

<Cypress> it was 5 cm not 10

<mrh> and nothing pisses me off more then kids fucking aroudn

<Jon2> i like that dick

* sQurl pets rodney and rubs him the right way

* Snowpaws deletes more porn

<Schrade> I just figured out what jeff looks like
<Schrade> Chilli Willi

<mr_bill> its not often two good-looking women are fondling themselves inches
  from my face

<jimmie> ,ahbea?

<sQurl> I did kaffy

<rodney> heh
<rodney> i could never become that much of an asshole
<rodney> just let me pay for my computer habit and occasional tahoe trip and
  i'm happy

* mskathy enjoys it!

* jimmie sucks on marcus

<jimmie> whats this damn efnet thing you keep talkin about?

<sQurl> jimmie is bering meant o my ass!@#

<tober> Mark my words, there will be no widespread deployment of IPv6.

<plan9> great, the kernel thinks my printer is on fire.

<Schrade> What's the size of it?

<redbird> We are sorry, due to a fiber cut, your Phone, Power, Internet,
  Water, Air will be off until we can call Cisco to fix a bug.

<Phisher> your the first girl i know thats under 300 lbs that got a speeding
  ticket

<LoverMan> *ring* "Network Operation..."  "Yes, I would like to order the can
  opener you have advertised."
<LoverMan> ?!?!

<rodney> I AM MARKETING

<sQurl> I need...a tree

<sQurl> I'm STILL wet though

<sQurl> I know enough to tyope wiyth my eyes closed when drunk

<tober> See, the best thing about Keli was that (1) she liked it when I made
  pancakes and bacon for her and (2) she liked to talk about gas
  chromatography

<ktm> how big is it, xney?

<tosh_> what if my pimpl on my ass is bigger than your brain?

<rodney> *liam* they want me to fuck them  <Tue Oct 14 23:33>
<rodney> *liam* whoops wrong rodney <Tue Oct 14 23:34>
<rodney> *liam* sorry <Tue Oct 14 23:34>

<mskathy> harder, Xney

<Barron> I would rather have faster and wider ;)

<madbomber> dem; im not at good at pin ball as i am at masterbation

<sQurl> I donut think I can swallow that much....

<jimmie> kim likes to hire the expensive lesbian hookers

<jimmie> 'why not run half duplex fddi connections for inbound and full duplex
  for outbound?'

<mskathy> "oh no.. I've contracted abuse!"

<jimmie> mae-west-mfs>sh ip bgp regex 206.86.0.0

* Schrade buys dave a pair of bondage pants

<sQurl> damn it, sam got my shorts wet

<jimmie> <Hel-O-Wee> anybody in here wanna give some good halloween head?

<mskathy> I want it

<Snowpaws> yes ... turn shellx into a coffeetable .. .we need a coffeetable

'No, I think "rchen@shell1" is some kind of clown. '
- best.dialups post

<sQurl> harley- I wanted you
<sQurl> er warner you
<sQurl> warned

*** Signoff: rodney (Killed (Ami (spamming bitch)))

<jimmie> i'm so meen
<jimmie> one of our rsp's reloaded with a memory parity error
<jimmie> so i sent this mail out to the group
<jimmie> Subject: Re: dan would you please stop using FRY's ram in the RSPs?
  ;)

<marcus> only jimie could go from anthrax to fleetwood mac

* jimmie bats her eyes at xney

<WintrHawk> When someone goes out with Jonathan... it's not called a
  date... it's called "time served"

<chuck> I didn't know it was a yoyo until I saw you with it later. I thought
  it was a growth.

<mjr> can't tell if this is metallica or country

<rodney> stupid pcn

[After telling Flashman that doing this hung my router hard...]
<FlashMan> nicholson-gw3(config-if)#int s4/0/0
<FlashMan> nicholson-gw3(config-if)#encap frame-relay
<FlashMan> [hang]

* amanda- needs something warm

* jimmie does nasty things with tay's sock

<todd> wow, where do i go for a room full of girls without bras?

<DeeCee> i need opers in #edmonton ... a takeover

<FlashMan> [05:15PM] <Sysco:#cisco> girlfriend#wr e
<FlashMan> [05:15PM] <Sysco:#cisco> girlfriend#reload
<FlashMan> [05:16PM] <Sysco:#cisco> there, now she's a blonde

<tober> If you're ear is ringing then answer it, duh.

<cdy> (cyarnell) @netbsd:~ > grep -ic channel .KillLog 
<cdy> 226

<tay> aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhcccchhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

<mskathy> I will do things with M&Ms you've never seen..

<sQurl> heh I could probably score with a chick before dave

<Blakberry> jered can only handle 6 hos

<RoadRuner> I NEED SEX!&%$#!&^@#*^@%$(&^#@%

<E> and it gets worse. sprint said that ascend techincal support said the
  problem w/ fast busy's on my PRI was due to my radius server.

<Schrade> I'm gonna sprout another ass

<dem-> so is rodney the chen who used to be a girl and is now a boy?  I got
  really confused earlier.

<FlashMan> a *good* suit is like $500k

<billn> holy shit
<billn> piker is satan
<billn> it all makes sense now

<nMANCEr> jwhyne: Yeah, but I have a HUUUUGE clitoris.

<WintrHawk> I just came out of the closet...

<cdy> *** Current value of LASTLOG is 20000

<mskathy> besides, 10" is a little TOO big.

<mskathy> I think you bruise even more easily than I do, squrl

* rodney needs his ass spanked.

<Jalapeno> tho gimme a boy, and i'd love him even more

<sQurl> those are MY balls thank you

<Mutt> I think I saw a boob

<Strahd> what about ops, can we warez?  :)
<Strahd> shit wrong channel

<dem-> Listen up!  NAKED GIRLS DANCING OUT OF XMAS PRESENTS IS NOT FUNNY.

<persis> larz yea i'm just bruised and sore

<cdy> IL rox for xmas
*** Signoff: cdy (Killed (irc.ionet.net (cdy(?) <-
  irc.best.net[irc@206.86.0.23])))

* Fjoder diciplines cdy

<_cls_> i gave deecee KY jelly for christmas.. he made my hole bigger....

<_cls_> Fjoder : would you like to know where the nick "8" Ball(s) comes from?
  :P

<frasher> wow.... Canadian coffee tastes like shit!

<PetrDoubt> But why have a clue, when you can have an attitude?

<dem> every 46 minutes aol asks if i wanna stay on line

<persis> psyber hoe big is it?

* marcus bends over to larz

* jimmie marcus hi

<RoadRuner> this limo was so big, craig said, "that must be some cat they are
  sucking up for."

<Cypress> i want a choochoo hate

<marcus> since persis left me for jimmie, i guess i'll try men for a while

<rox> I tied larz up in the other room :)

<madbomber> i can score anytime i want.. i got 2 good arms you know

<FlashMan> I kept rose up all night

<jimmie> well you can tell by the way that i move my hips, i'm a womans man

<Tolim> I love clueless network people
<Tolim> feels almost like I'm back on exodus

<sQurl> usually when a guy has his face buried in my chest the only thing you
  hear is this muffled "help I'm suffocating"....

* mskathy sticks a big jawbreaker in her mouth.

<jimmie> i think its goat sex time

<FlashMan2> PUKEBOX?  
<FlashMan2> sounds like a machine for jered

<sQurl> wonterey aquarium

<jimmie> you should just stay with mucus

<jimmie> i mean, atleast i didnt name my hand :)

* sQurl laughs and karl's in the tub

*** Signoff: marcus (i'm finally gonna sk0re!@#$!@#$!@#$!@#$!@#$!@#$ ;))

<_Melody_> Hemwlp I"msfdklhjh be8hing sa8yhtth onmph

<lump> besides, girth counts, not length

<seussy> 8inches off the front. wooo

<Taner2> I almost wrecked my car looking at you
[referring to seussy]

* seussy bushes

<errata> i drive a saturn! i'm no yuppie!

<Darkshde> xney: cygwin32 full kit is 13MB, hope you got a fast link <G>

<ktmguy> Ray from Pac Bell: "Yeah, I can't get this line up."
<ktmguy> Voice in Background at Pac Bell: "Ray, are you sure we're supposed to
  be hearing your personal problems?"

<Phishey> we'll have biter moments

<errata> it's hard. :)

<Darkshde> EFNet: only the strong shall survive.

<Melody^^-> I CAN PET IF I FUCKING GODDAMN WANT TO BECAUSE I HAVE A GUN AND
  I'M PSYCHOTIC GOD DAMN IT!#$

<rodney> the schwartz, albeit small, be with manda

<redbird> Holy SHIT thats a huge cock

<FlashMan> New York Times just interviewed me

<Schrade> When they strip-searched dave, it was very exciting

* lump really needs people

<sQurl> karl just tried playing patticake with my tits

*** Xney3 has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to kathy in real
  life - "it was a SNEEZE, not an ORGASM"

<RezaGym> it's sad that i'm ircing from my gym

<mskathy> I could kill someone with a toothpick, at the moment.

<Yaz-> I am brocolli.. I have IQ of 10

*** Signoff: errata (Killed (redbird (Oh! A well hung 20 year old!)))

<errata> karl, i don't know. i don't even know how hung i am.

<michelle-> *guilty demonic slutty blondie polaroid moment look*

* mskathy wanna go to the beyotch.
<mskathy> I mean, beach

<sQurl:#twilight_zone> msk- I'm having fun telling people about your vibrator

*** mskathy has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to IT'S A
  HUMIDIFIER THAT MAKES NOISE

<billn> craig kicks so much ass, even his shit is useful.

* Snowpaws loves Ken's rocket launcher, too

<morkeleb> marcus: you could sk0re with asian chicks if you drove a lower
  honda civic

<rodney> xney: almost like the jonathan 'the employee at mcdonolds made eye
  contact with me, they want me to tittyfuck them' 

<marcus> gimmie cute asian chix!#@$!@#$!@#$!@#

<Phisher> =frontier1= <poseidon@rpiMON> course, we can do it in a mens room
  real quick
<Phisher> +if we have to <Wed Apr 30 19:03>
<Phisher> =frontier1= <poseidon@rpiMON> ack :>  <Wed Apr 30 19:03>
<Phisher> =frontier1= <poseidon@rpiMON> stupid query <Wed Apr 30 19:03>

<Phisher> <qat> love is like a mousetrap
<Phisher> <qat> you see the cheese and go "wow, cheese!"
<Phisher> <qat> then SNAP
<Phisher> <qat> you're dead.

<brian2> man, i'm gonna have to go home and turn on the cam and show you what
  satan looks like

<mr_bill> w00d is g00d

<mskathy> that came out wrong!

<mr_bill> i have a headache
<mr_bill> I need a blowjob

<mskathy> limp - are cable modems cheap to rent?

<FlashMan> small ISP's are some of the tightest people I know

* lump puts on her crown.
<lump> they never should have given me this thing for christmas

* sQurl turns off the tool before opening hte office door

<jimmie> someone rebooted mbone

<Arian> I remember when I first met Harv. I thought he was a punk and he
  thought I was a prick :)
<Harvester> I was, and you were :P

* FlashMan sniffs contact cement for lunch

<caine-> My dick is gone!

<sQurl> hrm......my tongue hurts

*** sQurl has changed the topic on channel #best to <mskathy> I now have a BIG
  penis!

<mskathy> woohoo!  Humidifer at work!

<errata> *** Unknown command: QUEERY
<errata> *** Unknown command: QURYE
<errata> *** Unknown command: QUREY
<errata> *** Unknown command: QUREY

<mskathy> nothing is quite as satisfying.

<mskathy> squrl - I think I've had more /kills today than the entire time I
  was at netcom

<mskathy> hey, mebbe I liked spending two hours in a small room with craig...

<mskathy> dude!
* mskathy does squrl
<mskathy> I mean
* mskathy outdoes squrl

<sQurl> where on earth did I come from

<piker> Chris can say "I got a lump on my peter" and it wouldnt be bad.

<TanerBOOM> my nads hurt
<TanerBOOM> my jeans are all twisted

<lump> nevin's only counted 13 new cars in the parking lot in the last week

<Caine> I forgot my shorts today.
<Caine> Damn.

* sQurl needs da crack pipe

<jimmie> ComStud is a Closet Spice Girl!

<Arian> I thought it was just whacked really good, but I think I might have deep bruised it :/.

<jimmie> who needs pussy, i have a hand :)

<jimmie> You know, if i had a beautiful woman around
<jimmie> i wouldnt be playing with my palm pilot :)

<rodney> marcus: you're not worht $80

* morkeleb- snifs errata's elbow - "where has this been?!?"

<tober> I AM NOT DATING ANY PART OF ROBERT'S BODY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH

<tober> UNLESS YOU HEAR OTHERWISE, ASSUME THAT I STILL CAN'T GET ANY.

<Psyber> medicinal crack cocaine is a priveledge we fought for!

<ThemBones> larz has a homosexual router

<lump> i bet chris is gonna get sodomized

<madbomber> as long as i live i will never try to score with an irc chiq
<madbomber> mark my words

<jimmie> man my wrist hurts

<madbomber> asian markets are bringing my FRO down

*** rodney has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to Marcus Schwartz
  - The Seventeen Second Stallion

<marcus> hell, i've spent years on chix i never had a chance with :P
<Demon> marcus: your sister doesn't count.  And just because she can outrun
  you, that doesn't mean you never had a chance - you coulda cornered her or
  gotten her in her sleep or something/

<Brett> does anybody know how to get blood-stains out of a curtain?

<sQurl> kaffy needs a good petting

* E is still pulling out his little dick

<errata> that sucked.
<errata> i booted a machine up to install FreeBSD on it, walked away for a
  while and came back. and it had NT running!!
<errata> 'surprise!' heh
<errata> MS is invading.

<lump> good thing, cuz i'm about to blow

<Jon2> i'm a good girl i am

<cdy> Hmm.  AOL is stupid.

<tay> kanan makes funny noises when he plays quake

* Melody-_- grabs a dildo and looks at rodney again.

<persis> I'M READY DAMN IT

<Carolyn> jon
<Carolyn> how's your penis? did you ever find it?

<sQurl> I was walking around with half my pants around my ankles

<rodney> fuck
<rodney> this pizza is making me toot

<mskathy> my keyborad is all fucke dupo

<marcus-> i irc... i read... i masturbate

<redbird> My system is being eaten by eudora

<sQurl> after best, taco bell is high paying

<Violator> DARREN BROKE MY SLIPPERY COCK

<marcus> all three arent sposed to come up at once, craig

<LarZ> hrm.  just found a tie i've been looking for stuck in the back of my
  chair

<LarZ> is it worse to suck or blow ?
<errata3> i like a little of both.

<sQurl> I should find that skirt for you jered

<mskathy> my pleco is so big! it's cool ; Plecos == sucky things

* mskathy watches da nudes.
<sQurl> where?
<mskathy> I mean
<mskathy> news

<lump> they're asking "are there any girls that work at @home that are younger
  than 20 and know unix?"

<lump> i have a ballgag.

<FlashMan> but your penis can't shoot 622 Mbps

<sQurl> hey that squrl's penis is bigger than mine

<FlashMan> you like to laugh at me cuz I'm hung just like a squirrel

<sQurl> it's already been used quite a bit today

<Sabre-> jon2: can you pat your head and rub your tummy?
<Jon2> sabre: not only can i do that, i can do it while masturbating
<Jon2> a skill that only amm and I can do

<Wireless> bleh
<Wireless> this sex
<Wireless> er sux

<Harvester> mskathy:  can you feel anything?

<rodney> wireless wants to become and intern and play swallow the leader

<mskathy> Mutt - Yeah, and I can't stop touching myself now! ;)

<Muttd> Who the fuck is dillon@shell16.ba.best.com??

<OtherMutt> xney: Oh.  When I get tired I just masterbate.

<mskathy> no slurping

<FlashMan> squrl's flailing her penis at me

<mskathy> wow, my neck is sore.

<Cypress> i'm cheap

<jimmie> i'm marrying phisher for his 12" penis

*** mskathy is now known as azzpir8

<mskathy> Jered is walking around looking for his clothes

<marcus> palousa; but yer cute ;)
<marcus> well, brian is at least ;)

*** Xney has changed the topic on channel #best to "I have a kevlar ass" -
  Aaron in real life

<jimmie> i thought i reserved tay

<tay> least I got the balls to do it :)

<cdy> wow it stayed up longer than 15 min

<Doogie> you've never tasted ass?

<jimmie> i bought vio a whip and phisher a dildo

<jimmie> squrt

<Phisher> CANT STOP BLEEDING... MUST GET PAD... PANTIES DROWNING ...

<Mutt> msk: Have you ever done ty

<tober> You masturbate with your left hand?

<mskathy> "if life were a fairytale all the women would be princesses and all
  the men would be peas.. because at their best they are a nice side dish and
  at their worst they are a minor irritation in bed"

<errata> Q:  What is the difference between pink and purple?
<errata> A:  Your grip.

<rone> anyone want root access before i leave Best?

<sQurl> heh noel thought my penis was wood

<mskathy> it's official, I'm fucked!##$

<sQurl> the tow truck guy fixed me

<mskathy> it's very looooong.

<Daemon> Man I hate shopping for computer perifs...
<Daemon> It used to be you could at least get it home before it was obsolete..

* Paige pets Jon2
* Jon2 gets hard
<Paige> woah
<Jon2> well, what do you expect if you're gonna pet me?
<Paige> well, uh.. you could be like the majority of people and just purr.. :p

*** Jon2 is now known as Gerbil
<Gerbil> HEEELP!!!  I am TRAPPED in JIMMIE'S ASS with another friend!!!  We
  CAN'T get OUT!!  We've been in here for FIVE DAYS, and if we TRY TO ESCAPE,
  we get SHOVED BACK IN!!!!  HEELP!!!
*** Gerbil is now known as Jon2

<PetrDoubt> We break more before 6AM than most people do all day.

<jokah> POS, it's what's for dinner

<rjp:#best> set novice_mode off

<PetrDoubt> No shit, it's up.

<Phisher> i can no longer see my penis when standing straight up.

<jimmie> have i ever not come?

<rodney> lump: can i be your friend?
<lump> rodney: are you qualified?

<sQurl> it wasn't hard I just misjudged the length

<Yaz> customer quote: " thats really tight"

<mskathy> or we could go check out chicks at the peppermill

<PetrDoubt> Geez, I'm going to have to set up a procmail filter to deal with
  employee farewell notices.

*** Xney3 has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to "How big can this
  get?" - dem in real life

* sQurl eats xney's popscicle

<cameo> Everyone wanted to fuck the new meat

<Jon2> my cat is attacking my Best Internet ball

<mskathy> DUNOT TURNOFF THE BONER

<rodney> you got a stiffy off the voicemail, andrew.
<Wireless> at least it's a woman

<Mutt> I masturbate to pictures of myself.

<mskathy> squrl is talking about stiff leather

<SkInnY_> /msg squrl thanks for inviting me

<todd`> wow... i totally thought tay was a chick

* sQurl looks down and tries to find her penis on a string

<sQurl> I said I was playhing with MY penis 
* sQurl needs a quickcam

<madbombah> squrl is %40 boob

<tay> jered couldn't figger out why his pants were still wet after putting
  them in the dryer

<sQurl> ;east sp,epme dod
<sQurl> least someone did

* sQurl feels arian's boobs

<ModemMix> heh, my dipshit roommate put his pc on a claper

<ModemMix> he thought it was a surge protector

<ModemMix> i dont need to smack him he's busy trying to save his data, left
  his tv on when he went to work and it turned it on and off all day

* Kanan salts his stick.

<pg-work> jimmie: I sweat to god you're on irc 24 hours a day.

*holey* yer not denniger?

<todd> subtlety on usenet is saying "you nazi scum, you deserve to die" when
  you really mean "i am presently stalking you and will be executing you soon,
  followed by a mutilation of your remains"

<Strahd> mskathy needs to be serviced????
<mskathy> doesnt everyone?

<Brett> Karl Denniger reminds me of a famous TV personality....   Anyone
  remember Mr. Ed?
<dem> which end of mr ed?

<tober> I had a nightmare about cheesy poofs the other night.
<tober> I dreamed that I was surrounded by naked women who were chanting
  "cheesy poofs!  cheesy poofs!  cheesy poofs! <etc>" and they kept bringing
  me more and more cheesy poofs to eat and I couldn't eat them all and
  eventually I was asphyxiated by the sea of cheesy poofs surrounding me.
  That's when I woke up in a cold sweat.

<Number-6> I stop using the backaspaeceeeeeeee when I get drunk

<ParaG0d> My grandpa once told me that fucking an old lady is like climbing a
  moutain.. hang on tight and don't look down.

<ModemMix> i would install a spell checker but the disk woldnt fi in mmy ear

<mskathy> I only like to spew on Mutt

<Arian> Dave spends lots of money..
<Arian> After all, hookers aren't sheap anymore.
<Arian> :)

<mskathy> well, it could be fast, but I'd prefer something else.

<mskathy> fear my beavah

* mskathy tries to find her pants

<jimmie> i was gonna say, i dont mind being sucked ;)

<lump> for some reason the canadians aren't resolving too well

<Jon2> i'm going to the gym tonight to try to get me a date for tonight :)
<Jon2> persis asked 'can we go out to dinner tonight' and i said 'depends if i
  fidn someone better looking than you at the gym' :)

<sQurl> and to think I'm nice enough to give you rides

<mskathy> but, I also have dreams about beavers and happy stuff.

<sQurl> hang on, lemme see how large it is

<sQurl> I just put the bottle to my lips and BARELY aborted before spewing

<frashalso> my right hand i sreall sore for some reason

<Leugim> xney, you are... you are.... jua jua jua jee jeee jeee jiii jiiij jii
  joojojooj

<morkeleb> i wonder why it is that all the chicks that visit marcus are on irc
  all night

<morkeleb> just thinking about irc makes me cum

<jimmie> grass, gas or ass

<jimmie> ok sleep me for
* jimmie #

<jimmie> karl is to cef like i am to rsm's :)

<jimmie> i was gonna spell something with our inaddrs so when you tracerouted
  our network it said stuff

<frashalso> ehud: its like AOL... POINT AND LICK

<mskathy> FlashMan has a nice slinky

<rone:#best> hey, i got called by the phone directory people here at Ames, and
  it turns out that the person who had my phone extension before me was...
<rone:#best> jonathan 

<dem> jills penis is even smaller than mine

<FlashCERF> I had Chevy's for lunch today
<FlashCERF> so my cube reeks pretty bad
<Rezz> make sure you fart it all out before you come home
<Rezz> or I won't let you in the door

<Nina:#cisco> okay, discord what size are you ?

<Kanan> because my penis is in a monogamous relationship damnit

<sQurl> do you need it then steve?

* plan9 kisses his new 19".

<dem> karl stop bahhhing before i get excited

<ammMS> I always thought bdsm was some sort of unix !@#

<DayDream> at work the only station i could pick up was the mexican station
  then i broke the radio more, and it got stuck on the arabian station it
  ruled, I bugged the shit out of my manager, I was sing someon song called
  like Fuh-tah-gee-wagoo, and she got pissed. Its the U of H radio station.

<rodney> pouring liquid oxygen on charcoal is the equivalent to throwing
<rodney> a live squirrel into a room containing 50 million Labrador
  retrievers.

<Darkshde> [13:08] *** Notice -- Hacked ops on opless channel: #gaysmalldicks

<dpk> i didn't realize how large my nose was, tho :)

<Wireless> #6 - persis will have sex with you
<Number-6> Wireless: now I have trauma, thanks.

* sQurl almost left her top down this morning

* sQurl falls over laughing thinking about last ngiht
<sQurl> er that didn't sound quite right

<FlashMan> I'm cleaning out our bedroom closet some more
<FlashMan> we must have like 20 bedsheet sets

<morkeleb-> damnit, i fucked my mouse finger on the toilet last night

<ekiM> you sucked off a secret service guy in full riot gear and body armor?

* sQurl hits xney with a sledge hammer
<sQurl> THAT'S male intuition

*** mskathy is now known as slavegirl

<RoadRuner>  top or bottom?

* lump peers out from jimmie's fly.

<jimmie> hrm.. nothing currently in my pants

* lump has a PGP chastity belt.

* rodney purity rating was upgraded to outperform from neutral

*** Signoff: dem (I'm outta here!)
*** dem (demit@shell7.ba.best.com) has joined channel #Twilight_Zone

<sQurl> there are easier ways out of a relationshit

<sQurl> karl- we could do it again with 6 people =)

<LoverMan> Mike:  Ray asks "One of the BEastie Boys wants to meet me?"

<jimmie> Frontier Persis Center?

<E> LD, I'm a one door man ;)
<Kanan> too bad someone put your door on backwards E

332 Topic for #Twilight_Zone: "Let us see the sucking powerz of this evil
  empire."
333 #Twilight_Zone Xney3 895353870

<PetrDoubt> Man, routers with front-panel push-button configurations suck.
<PetrDoubt> I'm listening to this guy try to config his router....beep beep
  beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep

<cdy> There's no ... cummunity... on the net.

*** gavroche has changed the topic on channel #Twilight_Zone to Noodles are
  str8 too.. until you get them hot.

<lump> but i'm not sure i'm quite comfortable with the stick yet

<mskathy> I am working on an MIS guy, tho

<fable> that is what cisco is like.. sex all the time.

<Rodder> i think my sister's trailer just got repo'd

<lump> never thought that i'd say a quick man is nice.

<redbird> Oh!  
<redbird> Its coming up

<dem> our bandwidth makes my penis hard :)

<lump> i need clothes on.

<jimmie> i remember when my boss got in my car when i gave him a ride

<Rodder> bahaha, xney and z00p are black chix

<rone> skars: you work for best, what you felt wasn't a recession , just your
  normal salary

<tober> Jon:  No, I'm not going to get a prostitute and, if I were, it
  wouldn't be a blonde.  It would be some flatchested brunette or black-haired
  chick who looks like a boy.

<mr-hankey> my piece of cron is excited!
<mr-hankey> corn
<mr-hankey> cron?
<mr-hankey> shit
* mr-hankey smacks self.

<lump> my underwear is totally riding up my buttcrack!

* sQurl looks for more screws

<zoo0oop-> we scored in the last 45secs

<Jon2> hmm.. a rodney creature.. little guys with funny hair running around
  buying everything up

<RoadRuner> coring is about as close as robert will get to scoring ;)

*** morkeleb- has been kicked off channel #twilight_zone by morkeleb- (that's
  my nick, fucker)

<sQurl> what I'm not enough for you you have to poke the router?

<lump> it will be up shortly.

<sQurl> man I'm just poking everyone tongiht

<dem> i am about 45 secs from being done here

<FlashMan> I was wanting to show you my penis last night

<tay> and I spanked eve today

<jimmie> i'm a big guy

* sQurl strips tay and jumps in

<jimmie> i've been sexoring goats for 2 1/2 years

<dem> blah.. i guess i can yank mine and come over

* sQurl wants to see jeff squeeze it in his room

<sQurl> wanna buy me?

<jimmie> it may be small, but its not inverted!

<WohaliSJ> NO one makes me squeel like MsK!

<lump> my god, i'm shedding like a golden retriever

<jimmie> what do you do with interens squrl?

* jimmie schedules his wedding via email

<Arian> I can see it now, Rodney doing informercials "I'm Rodney! I AM A
  MILLIONARE! YOU CAN BE ONE TOO!

<retrospek> msk has a tongue that just doesn't stop

<Jon2> if they are shaped nicer, you don't have to wipe as much, so you use
  less toilet paper, and that saves money
<Jon2> the shape of your turds has a direct financial impact

<mjsativa> my throat hurts

<mjsativa> it's the fuckstration getting to me I know it

<comstud> i'd just do it by hand

<mjsativa> purple hooter came out of my sweater!

<dpk> nobody is on my burrito.

<jimmie> the last girl i was with, thought she'd dropped a cheeto down my
  pants, it was my penis

<SwedeMike> I dont need viagra, I have no problem cumming too early :)

* SwedeMike is master of snot and cum.

<sQurl> wanna see whut I been playing with...?

<lump> i still can't believe i'm going out with a mac person.

* mskathy finds beaver ascii art

<mjsativa> well, I have enough for everyone

<Arian> I wonder where my package is

<brian2> hmm, i'm trying to imagine spanking it with astroglide on

<jwhyne> leonardo dpkaprio

<marcus> phisher; i need to know what irc people you've slept with

<jimmie> man this ice is cold

<fwaaa> actually, I do.. its BIG

<mjsativa> I AM IRON BOX

<sQurl> hang on jeff I turned mounting on

<dem> no i manually did it

<mjsativa> you know, I play with my tongue too much

<mjsativa> I can't spoink myself

<kanzen> heh.. this guy's ont he phone calling his computer pookie.. "Oh come
  on pookie, you can do it pookie.. there you go pookie, thats it... "

<mjsativa> I can't get em tight enough

<Jon2> it's been hung this way for an hour now

[to marcus]
<dem> hmm we should swap some sticks

<fwaaa> mj: grr, you keep doing this and it will keep getting harder

<Arian> I was born sold.

* mskathy gets her bag o' smack.

* CosmicMJ bends hax0r over her desk gets out her 15 inch cat o nine tails,
  rams the butt up his ass, makes him scream " MY MISTRESS IS THE BEST FUCK"
  then I whip him till he jisms all over himself and make him lick it up

* Arian speechless

* CosmicMJ goes after Arian with her cat-o-nine

<Vilas> ARGHHHHH THE DEMONS AND TROLLS OF HECK HAVE COME FOR US!

* sQurl unsucks mskathy

* CosmicMJ is away: giving death a blow job

<mskathy> newp, I like clean-shaven men.

*jimmie*  Adair2  <dave@fuck.ellen.hancock.the.high.priestess.of.exodus.net>

<Kanan> i havent touched that in a long time

<sQurl> I kissed fable, jon, marcus, eve, rose, karl, and I think tay..

* _Melody_ sucks on a stick

* sQurl accusses xney of altoids

* CosmicMJ gets on her knees behind Caine, pulls his pants down and puckers up
  <--- now that is KISSING ASS :P

<Caine> "Try inserting some latin rythms in there."

<CosmicMJ> I have a penis!

<Daffy> OH MY GOD. MY PENIS IS STUCK IN A TREE.

<PetrDoubt> "My paswird omly wirkd onw tome our of ten!  Besdt sux!"

<frashtew> when i had it set on viberate

<frashtew> ty: Is it true Canadians are jsut Americans who 'couldnt cut it' ?
  (I gotta ask the mall this)

<boufa> we need 2 so we can make it longer

<Viola> I DONT BEND THAT WAY,  CARLA

<rodney> banging the boofs, a #tz experience

* marcus wants anything that moves

<IncgntoMJ> crack? *perk*

<sedriss_> my friends call me bj, and the seniors when i went to high school
  called me blowjob :(

<sQurl> I'm on my knees

<jimmie> welcome to efnet, pick a channel and grab your smurf.c

<sedriss_> 9" is nothing

<sQurl> The kitten eats an elf corpse named squrl.--More--

<lammah> Prillinger Newtsbane

<dpk> You put a wand of cancellation into the bag of holding.
<dpk> :((

<drGonzo> |     /%      &.&.&|
<drGonzo> | % --    )  .&&&&T|
<drGonzo> |   --       &&&@D.--
<drGonzo> |       ------- -&&&--
* drGonzo problem

<sQurl> I need a freaking pencil

<sQurl> he who controls the pussy wins

<Jon2> hey, what's the best windoze newsreader for grabbing pr0n from
  alt.binaries?

"BBN will be getting to exodus' web sites just fine via Sprint."
-dorian

<CosmicMJ> I DON"T NEED A VIBRATOR

<FlashMan> you and boufa can come over and play with my balls afterwards

<jimmie> it doesnt need to be big

<Arian> So Xney...what did you do to piss off Norway? You post thoser pictures
  of Caine's mom?
*** Arian has been kicked off channel #best by Caine (MY MOM DIED IN NORWAY)

<Try> Doug... are you looking to leave tivoli?
<Demon> Try: not actively, but it's always a thought ...
<Try> i know in the next month or so a junior sys admin position is going to
  open
<Demon> heh.  I don't want jr :)
<Try> jr pays ~70k here
<Try> but ok :-)
<Demon> hmm, I want jr.

<FlashMan> The little dog is confused from hunger.  The little dog dies.

* CosmicMJ doesn't have penis envy.. she's had her share of dicks in her
  lifetime

<rodney> flashman you liberal

*** Xney has changed the topic on channel #best to "MMMmmm, d0nuts..." - RJP

<Number-6> you must make a sacrifice to Masturbatos, god of wank

<rjp> something wierd is causing it to die

<boufa> jimmie didnt make me sweat last night

<rjp> my buffer isn't that big

<rodney> Three sizes of women: LARGE, X-LARGE, & IT'S HEADED RIGHT FOR US!

* dem goes to brush teeth

<dpk> best is probably the worst ISP to irc from.
<dpk> unless, of course, you're just chatting with people.

<CosmicMJ> oh man it makes funny squishy noises when you put it back in

<Khanh> u could suck on my nipples and floss your teeth at the same time.

<CosmicMJ> my ass isn't even worth 100 bucks

<prysm> I was very good, I did not even take it out to see what it was

<LoverMan> TAN NAIR, shave your legs and get an artificial tan, too!

<CosmicMJ> my ass hURTS!

<jimmie> well time to go get loving from my wife now that i spent $$$$$ on her
  car
* jimmie #

*** jimmie has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to This channel
  rated : IRC-J2 - Jon2 may talk about his fecal matter

<mskathy> I think I need a slave.

<CosmicMJ> my ass 
<CosmicMJ> hurts!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<tosh-> i am not here to educate you

<Harvester> I like good catholic women, they give better head.

<Harvester> i have no flaws.
<Harvester> They are "undocumented features."

<CosmicMJ> w00t I missed my space sp00ge and bubbles that I can't eat but can

<tosh-> i thought BOFH had something to do with Bi sexual blah blah blah

<jimmie> grep -ic channel operkills.log
<jimmie> 1592

<jimmie> candice:~> grep -ic bot operkills.log
<jimmie> 10565

* sQurl is everyons furry forest friend

<CosmicMJ> mmm whip yes good whip <in yoda voice>

* CosmicMJ & giving death a blow job 
<DrDeath> yay

<sQurl> I know I'm REALLY hopping

<MayTrickZ> im here to bitch slap reid

<_zerox> which one of you niggerz admins shell8.ba.best.com

* jwhyne sucks down the whole thing

<CosmicMJ> ifitwaspuffing,itwasme

<Jon2> her bowling ball sees more action than my balls do

<Jon2> and paige doesn't feel good, so she probably would use that as an
  excuse not to have sex with me

<Paige> i don't need excuses not to have sex with you

<Jon2> i don't want warez, i want a woman

<Jon2> of course, a realdoll won't run off and sleep with another guy and
  break your heart

<CosmicMJ> I"ve only had white men,

<Fjoder> AOL IS FUCKING NOTHING COMPARED TO THE SWEDISH GOVERMENT

<jimmie> i have enough trouble controling her myself

<PiKER> ok everyone who wants oper, ASSUME THE POSITION
<PiKER> (o) (o)
<PiKER>   (_)
<PiKER>   ___
<PiKER>  /   \
<PiKER>  \___/

<vampy-> anything less then a Ds3 honny. put it away im not interested

<vampy-:#duh> there is no way that someone could get their entire mouth around
  one of those things

<Caine> You get supersize bitch

<CosmicMJ> I can bend over

*** redbird has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to I swallow.

<CosmicMJ> damnit I can't get the cork out now

<sQurl> I JUST SUCK IN EBD

<benny> X is one of those wham bam thank you dem people

<mskathy> my beavers rule.

<CosmicMJ> I have an apron
<CosmicMJ> it says: I'm the bitch of the house, now let me do my job!

*** Signoff: carrar (irc-w.primenet.com *.sprynet.com)
*** carrar (osburn@osburn.com) has joined channel #twilight_zone
<carrar> hhahaha
<carrar> shit
<carrar> I typed /restart by accident

<jimmie> tay is single with no cheese?

*** Alkaline_ has been kicked off channel #ircu by Alkaline- (CTCP flooder)

<rone> that's more like "S&M pee traps"

<rog> me and mr hand will go into the bathroom for a little bit now...

!irc.exodus.net! Received SQUIT irc2.exodus.net from hmz (reroute)

<Jon2> next time hmz will have to give ME a blowjob instead of reid

<dem> be nice or i will tell tammy that she isnt getting deep enough :)

<taymie> I feel like a woman

<rone> i don't hate sexist people...  just sexist women.

<SeCtOr> I am not easily offended, I just don't like semen

<rone> do not stare at FDDI cable with remaining eye

<frashtew> Man, if I wanted to be Canadian, I'd shove a hockey puck up my ass
  and go around saying 'Eh'

<jimmie> i lick tacacs+

<tober> BBN's not sucking in a good way, not in a $10000/night call girl way,
  they're sucking in a $5 blow job from a crack ho way.

<rone> OH BY THE WAY WE'RE BEING ACQUIRED.  AGAIN.
<rone> hey, at least we didn't merge with tab.net
<PetrDoubt> Yes, we did.
<PetrDoubt> Verio owns tabnet.
<rone> o fuck

*** _Melody_ has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to Xney in RL:
  "Jeff that pepperoni is too big to be yours"

* mskathy puts her hands down brian2's pants, to warm them up.

<Computer> pikers chances + of getting laid is 0

<chaotica_> did you get new batteries also mj?

<todd> xney: you have to be "clipped" to work at verio.  new corp policy.

<rjp> I got completelt naked once in front of a ton of people when I was drunk

<shannon_> hrm,  need to get the penises off my netscape screen first.

<boufa> i own jimmie' s pants

<webba> xney got neutered =/

<russbee> i would love for tay to fly to austin and do ANYTHING to me

<frashlay> IRS IS MY LIFE
<frashlay> err iRC

<rone> i own a penis but i don't own an AK-47.

<_Melody_> marcus has a tiny penis

<LoverMan> Our place is easy to find, I'll email you erections.

<Nina> kanan come eat my candy !

<tober> It suxors, because sometimes a chick will be like "Hey tober, wanna
  dance?" and I'll be like "uhhhhhhhhhhhh......  errrrrrrr.........  couldn't
  we talk about linear algebra or something?"

<Darkshde> tober was part of a secret government experiment where they
  surgically removed his fun gene.

*** FlashSTL has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to You feel
  trapped.  You are now wearing a cursed +5 ring of reduce sex (on left hand).

<LadyDeth> this is going to be LONG!

<PetrDoubt:#best> We already know what hiway's execs make.  $100M.

<FlashSTL> You are now wearing a-a cursed, -5 ring of increase sex (on left
  hand).

<FlashSTL> You sense no gold in this vault! --more--
<FlashSTL> Perhaps your wife was here.

*Rogue_F* If we do kline all of aol, are we going to change our name to AFNet?

<Vilas> 'efnet oper' can be rearranged to spell 'repent foe' or 'pee for net'

<dem> jesus too many geeks around here.... <overheard in the kitchen> "whats
  in the queue"  "these chicken wings are unformatted"  <someone else> "no
  they are low level formated"

<rjp:#nanog> all the free peanuts from Ascend have three nuts in them, not two

<Da5id> i got aroused by mrtg stats earlier.

<PetrDoubt> CRL is useful.  I download from cvsup.freebsd when I'm doing other
  stuff and don't want to saturate my ISDN.

<vampy-> and of course matrim was too high and mighty to come last nite

<Blaxthos> jon2 has aids ?
<Jon2> blax: i dunno.. i had unprotected sex with persis
<Jon2> so you never know

<morkeleb-> just phear jimmie's cock in general

<brobro:#duh> is this a channel for dum people?

* tay lubs boufa
* tay lubes boufa

*** boufa is now known as iwantu
*** iwantu is now known as spankit
*** spankit is now known as boufa

<Phisher> im not small, im just right!

<Phisher> i have a windows 95 theme of my penis
<Phisher> when you click on things i ejaculate prematurely

<Jon2> are you sure this isn't squrl mating season?

<mlum> xney: I've got forearms that make a masturbation-crazed-benny look like
  a smurf ;-)

<marcus> i have to: while [ 1 ]; do cat /usr/demo/SOUND/sounds/drip.au >
  /dev/audio; sleep ; done
<marcus> and wander around the machine rooms for a while

<jimmie>    ----- The following addresses had permanent fatal errors -----
<jimmie> majordomo@nanog.edu
<jimmie> yow
<jimmie> wake up steve

<dpk> shell3:/users/u3/kirchner# ls -ald b/in/
<dpk> shell3:/users/u3/kirchner# ls -ald /bin/noshell
<dpk> lrwxrwxrwx  1 root  bin  8 Nov 17 09:26 /bin/noshell -> /bin/ksh

<tober> I've never had any desire to kiss jon2 at all

<tay> OBEY DA TAY

* lumchan notes that her forearms exercises have helped her masturbation
  abilities

<benny> from ami:
<benny> <ami> ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
<benny> <ami> that helps my masturbation abilities.

<Rodder> blown.net - when performance counts, get BLOWN

<dem> well i got some penetrating to do  bbl

<Jon2> my linux router is immune to your little smurfs

<spice> pwwwwwwwwwwwwhr-=13U(RU@!!%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

<drGonzo> i have no money

<spice> I'm hung like a protozoa.

<benny> dude i fucked this black guy and his penis was SO BIG

<PetrDoubt> One look at Nicole, and you can see she was made for basketball...

<sQurl> dem go up, xney go down, xney go up, dem go down

<mskathy> in case anyone wonders what that loud noise was, I hit my knee on
  the desk, sending lots of stuff crashing

<dem> that wasnt my mom that was a sheep

<Jon2> i spend the whole time trying to find it before i can play with it

<CosmicMJ> why do we have to swallow?

<CosmicMJ> if I can't swallow water, I aint swallowing nothing else

<FlashMan> HOW COME I CAN'T GET MY DICK SUCKED WHEN ALL THESE NETWORKS ARE
  SUCKING DICK?

<tay> I'm 100% bitch

<Temp> in canada anything under 10000 ms is good

<FlashMan> no steve
<FlashMan> cisco's playtoy is its own network 
<FlashMan> cisco's minefield is your network.

<jimmie> eve is watching guys masturbate on cu-cme

<jimmie> eve got gass 5 times

<boufa> we had joel for dinner

<boufa> *SLURPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP*

* jimmie is larger then karl

<zoo0oop> I belive that my penis is larger and more robust than jimmie's.
<daysee> i was just thinking that

<daysee> darn
<daysee> it doesnt fit

<ktm> Having Nicole mad at you is kinda like offending a deformed fetus. It's
  not a threat, and never will be.

<rone> like computers: "cheap, fast, reliable - pick two", women it's "pretty,
  smart, sane - pick two"

*sQurl* push it in ALL the way

<Jon2> wow my right nut just started hurting
<Jon2> i wonder if it's because of my wireless ethernet antenna

<FlashMan> my kittens tried to find files with name
  "77777777777777777777777nnnnnnnnnnnnmmmmmmmmmmmm" on my bedroom computer

<Schrade> This is too funny.  I can't believe we stumbled upon a packet
  channel just cuz we wanted to talk about furbys
<Schrade> #furby

<jwik> I mean it needs to be wet but not soggy

<FlashMan> daemon - I learned the benefits of releasing clutches more slowly
  on my dad's tractor
<FlashMan> I popped a wheelie on it

<dem> lm its messy but easy

<lynch> vaguely reminiscent of 'verio', the alternate spelling of b0rg

<CosmicMJ> arian doesn't have a penis, he has a wenis

<CosmicMJ> he's the exception to the no penis rule
<CosmicMJ> wenis is a nice term for penis

<Arian> This is DPK, he's in charge of the skanks

* drGonzo & exercising the plastic

<FlashMan> last year, two lesbians got in a fight near the door
<FlashMan> over another woman

<Gersh> doh, what a time to find out 
<Gersh> im out of tp

<morkeleb-> isn't pantera a car?

<Jon2> because i'm starting to be suspicious that i've never seen cdy and
  kalbfeld at the same time..  maybe he doesn't exist

<sedriss_> ive been to lammersdorf before

<Da5id> *** Your user mode is "+oiwszcrkfydn"

<spice> I want a larger member.

<todd> that's what y2k will really be... a couple of weeks of things screwed
  up, a bunch of wackos freaking out, and then a 2-decade-long lawsuit fest

<tay> strap-on! strap-off! strap-on strap-off... the STRAPPER

<FlashMan> lightning's under attack.
<FlashMan> from its own news server.

* Darkshde cores exodus like a ripe apple

* CosmicMJ makes a mental note not to bend over again

<rjp> I am so drubj

<rjp> abnypojnewana come over dor sex:

<marcus> and someone recently called me the "#tz women welcome wagon"

<SantaStud> <tay> i have nuts in my mouth

<spice> I'm hung like a guatemalan citrus bat.

<CosmicMJ> I sucked that one down fast.. sheesh, record time for me

<Tychy> Hey..it's much bigger when it's hard.  Tell those two to come
  over..then grab me again.

<ktm> I think the funniest thing I've ever seen was when I was asking Dima
  something, he brought up a man page and stared at it for a moment, then
  uttered: "This page is not useful at all."

<Tay> if.you.touch.chris.s.prostate.you.can.make.comstud.com

<boufa> ( . )( . )  = squrl     (.)(.) = boufa

<FlashMan> but after 2 weeks, we were ready to come here

<FlashMan> speaking of lotsa pussy
<FlashMan> they just ran in the room

<sQurl> I can do amazing things, all by myself

<rox-> <rox-> Xney3  Xney3  Xney3  Xney3  Xney3  Xney3  Xney3  Xney3  Xney3
  Xney3  Xney3  Xney3  Xney3
<rox->  [01:48am][rox-(+i)] [#Twilight_(+inst)]
<rox->  [Lag  0] [O/60 N/61 I/53 V/0 F/0] [U:a:S:b:h]
<rox-> [#Twilight_Zone] Bus error (core dumped)
<rox-> :(
<_cls_> dont say Xney3, itll core dump bx!

<marcus-> we must have at least a few crackheads in here

* PetrDoubt prefers women who look like...women.

<ktm> mmmm 12 year old boys.
<ktm> oops. did *I* just say that?

<sQurl> bah...I think the dsl is fucking

<CosmicMJ> eww my juice just spewed all over me

<tay> jill, come over here and spank me

<jimmie> I'm cheep
<jimmie> I admit it
<boufa> my husband is cheap
<boufa> i know this

<Dianora-> someone is packeting something I see

<frashtew> One day, we were sitting at a stop light, and Ginger, my gf, looks
  forward and says 'Honey! look, he loves Tina!!!"
<frashtew> his licsense plate? "ILVTNA"

* sQurl tries to fucus

<boufa> i bend jimmie over every night

<xer> tsk knocked me up.

<dem> tammy AND a sheep thank you very much

* sQurl s are ALWAYS in season

<dem> hmm slip and slide? is that what tammy is preping me for?

*** Signoff: aClient (Killed (SuperTaz (u@h spoof)))

<marcus> & drunk high school girls

<FlashMan> PEEGEEPEE for your BEEGEEPEE which runs over TEE SEE PEE which runs
  on EYE PEE which can run on PEE PEE PEE or ESS ELL EYE PEE or AY TEE EMM or
  EFF EEE
<FlashMan> or PEE OHH ESS

<tober> Yeah...  and I don't kiss smokers...  not, mind you that getting
  kissed by tober is actually much of incentive to stop smoking... oh,
  actually, it might be a disincentive...

<tay> I got carded at the fucking VITAMIN store

<todd> do you have your coleco adams networked?

<SwedeMike> karl is mjr right?

<sQurl> why does it matter whether or not I give good blowjobs

<Jon2> that is one ugly guy he is working on in the picture
<dem> wahaha
<dem> isnt that clive?

<dem> well with angel funding  god is on your side

<dem> man my right bicep is TOAST

<sQurl> actually mine is bigger than both of yours

<PetrDoubt> Yes, everything you've read in the policy is true.

<Stemish:&best.net> receptionist: "He's just getting off, can you hold for a
  minute?"

<glenny> Hey I am not called the minute man for nothing.

<_Melody_> <_Melody_> it's so hot my tits are sweating
<_Melody_> <LadyDeath> ya know what that is called dont you?
<_Melody_> <LadyDeath> it is called mountain dew

<sQurl> you haven't seen how big this donut is

<sQurl> I can't eat something this big

<sQurl> this donut has like more mass than one of my breasts

<skars2> verio.status  last updated 12/20/98

<Schrade> He still works her?
<Schrade> err here

<CosmicMJ> at least I have a backshit again
<CosmicMJ> er seat

<rone> no, i'm perfectly trained 
<rone> i'm an MCSE

<muzzy> heh.. X, scorpio women are good for ONE thing. and a lot of it.

*** tay has changed the topic on channel #Twilight_Zone to
  *Jon2(jon@quad.quadrunner.com)* wanna come over and fuq?

<Vilas> and here I was thinking "wow. xney is so cool. unlike the rest of #TZ
  and #unix, he's not making dumb sexual comments!"

<tay> she must have this "my daughter is having sex radar"

<CosmicMJ> I just almost spit tang out my nose

<humble> A word of advice: never try getting out of a lazyboy that won't close
  while exclosed on 3 sides in a confined area and standing on a slick
  chair-roller plastic pad while wearing cotton socks

<mindshape> it was like 1.5in diameter and about 5in long
<mindshape> huuuuuge

<RoadRuner> hearing essam next to me is funny this morning.
<RoadRuner> he is talking to telco
<RoadRuner> first, he is arab...
<RoadRuner> he said 'you are the worst telco i have dealt with. you hung up on
  me twice now. i will shoot you'

<tay> I think I overdosed on chocolate milk

<Reza> i havn't used my forearm so much in some time

<jimmie> kleenex boxes run scared when they see me coming

<piker> i'm not a chick!
<piker> i don't think i am anyways :)

<rjp:&best.net> Wow it hasn't been down this long in a while
<rjp:&best.net> usually only 2-3 mins

<sQurl> I ate users sometimes....

<dem-> rant #1892891:  people who call their sattelite dish a "sattelite"
<rone> what about people who misspell "satellite"?

<todd> hmm, my penis isn't feeling too lively.  no fertilization or world
  destruction today, i'm afraid.

<KingKurly> oh my god- 
<KingKurly> look at how big that is

<society> can you backdoor me?

<csm> guess it wasnt in vibrate mode :P

<CosmicMJ> I like jizm
<CosmicMJ> er
<CosmicMJ> to spell it jizm

<dpk> heh.. now here's a headline: Lucent Must Swallow Ascend Without Losing
  Talent

<Vilas> hrm, I dunno that I've actually been riding them per se
<Vilas> dealing with
<Vilas> but yes, I've had a lot of interesting experiences with my professors
  today.

<PetrDoubt> PacBell:  "Well, it doesn't look like they've forgotten about you,
  but they haven't done anything, either."

<dem-> beak is such the yupster.  4x4, skiing, fooling with the stock market.
  he's like wireless, but cooler.

<dem-> how long does it take for best to turn up my FR from 128 to 384?  like
  a day or so?
<PetrDoubt> About 5 minutes, I think.  Now ask how long PacBell takes.

<frashtew> blah. scat is is for people who aren't strong enough to just eat it
  DIRECTLY inside the other person already

* sQurl swore off dating....men

<CosmicMJ> prolly set to start up automatically on insert

<Morgan> verio, no thanks!

<FlashMan> you're DAMN RIGHT I have a woody

<CosmicMJ> that isn't full size dear

<Jon2> i'm living the high life tonight.. leftover tuna helper and red wine

<Taner> SOMEONE PLAY WITH ME

<FlashMan> tammy's not interested in men
<FlashMan> she's with jeff

<FlashMan> BAHAHAHAHA
<FlashMan> I did a global search and replace on quad
<FlashMan> with "puffer"
<FlashMan> for this new machine
<FlashMan> my email address got changed too
<FlashMan> chuegen@pufferrunner.com

<FlashMan>               __  __
<FlashMan>  _ __  _   _ / _|/ _| ___ _ __
<FlashMan> | '_ \| | | | |_| |_ / _ \ '__|
<FlashMan> | |_) | |_| |  _|  _|  __/ |
<FlashMan> | .__/ \__,_|_| |_|  \___|_|
<FlashMan> |_|
<FlashMan> oops
<FlashMan> shit
<FlashMan> wrong window

<drGonzo> there are 4 patriot missile batteries outside my window

<CosmicMJ> yes, but I like walking funny :P

<dpk:#best> verio is hardly an internet company. they're a marketing company
  that happens to own internet equipment.

<mr_bill> anybody know where I can find standards/measurements/etc for a
  standard 19" rack?

<sQurl> got to meat the new admin

* Taner pets his panties

<CosmicMJ> I'm in heat, get away

<Schrade> 'ahh so you're Ken Krebs... I got your email'

<_Melody_> ok. no more movies about psychotic men dressing as a woman killing
  nude models
* _Melody_ turns off the movie about dem

<CosmicMJ> * Yamin was tied up and fucked by 30 underage korean girl scouts.
<CosmicMJ> this person has issues

<dem-> This is the biggest weekend of the year for wife beating.

<lynch> why would they lag? i thought verio peering was good

<Tsk> i have to leave the room for a minute
<Tsk> my roommate has mad gas

<myc> squrl: fro's are black pony tails.

<Gersh> I will NOT play golden showers with you da5

<marcus> god you people like to complain a lot

<FlashMan> can I claim my kittens as dependents?

<sQurl> I think that was one of the worst thigns i've ever put in my mouth

<sQurl> you KNOW how I feel about nuts

<sQurl> DUDE I can't NOT bounce

<PetrDoubt> I feel like I work for Mary Kay or something.

<PetrDoubt> We should make John Chapman Promotion memorial t-shirts.

<PitBoss> No one LETS me in... I go where I please!! MUAHAHAHHAHA

<sQurl> gee..my tits get flashed and i get attention

<CosmicMJ> its this thingie that measures how hard you blow

<Phisher> [MSG FROM|conceited|15:05:04|i bet your just a donut eating ircop.]

<ktm> It's the whole "quasi-lesbian schoolgirl anime" thing

<CosmicMJ> I have my rc vibrator
<CosmicMJ> er

<boufa> no, some guy in jersey just unplugged the irc server because ti was
  'in his way'

<rone> Verio BUZZ?  is that like a vibrator buzz or more of a coffee buzz?

<rone> well, it's clearly obvious that artificial sweeteners turn you into a
  communist
<rone> why do you think it comes in pink envelopes

<rone> MY EJACULATION WILL REND YOU FROM CROTCH TO NECK, BABY

<piker> i'm piker, i'm not stupid :)

<AstralWiz> i'm a bitch 
<AstralWiz> i'm piker

<lump> my jammie party has suddenly been turned into an orgy.

<CosmicMJ> 12 more inches and I'll be happy with it
<CosmicMJ> it's still too short now
<CosmicMJ> er

<muzzy> heh. yeah.. id love to see that. maybe she can write me another
  message in her blood.. that would rule.

<fwaaa> muzzy II: because the first time only lasted 2 minutes

<CosmicMJ> so instead of buying roses, just fuck the shit out of the one you
  love

<mUnChIe> never looked how big mine was

<sQurl> that depends entirely on size

<realiTAY> comstud br0ke tay 
<realiTAY> last night 
<realiTAY> *Unf*

<Arian> People who own Jag's buy them so they can have conversations with
  other Jag owners about why their Jag is in the shop

*** Xney3 has changed the topic on channel #Twilight_Zone to "If you hear
  vibrating noises, ignore it" - sQurl in RL

<piker> that felt kinda good, both ways

<realiTay> ITS NEVER TO EARLY FOR MASTURBATION

<rone> FLAWLESS WEDGIE

<CosmicMJ> I"m on telnet from Kinkos on Ventura Blvd

<TayBunny> I WANNA GO TO MARINE WORLD AS SOON AS IT CHANGES TO SIX FAGS !!!!
  WHO WANTS TO GO!
<TayBunny> err

<drGonzo> there's nothing wrong with pacbell

<Xney> but taner, you have dth
* Taner bends dth over
* dth grabs its ankles
* Taner pumps away
<dth> ooooooohhhhhhhhh

<Jon2> xney: i'm not putting my penis anywhere where munchie's penis has been

<fwaaa:&best.net> 4 times.. thats a record for me :)

<lammah> what happens if we turn off mae-west?
<Stemish> Aeris calls.

<Evil_Ed> im on 100mb to a t3..but the t3's on digex, so

<cls-die> cdy looks like a white steve urkle

<frash> my GF doesnt fuck canucks

<frash> Xney: my GF drags me to the gay bars

<sQurl> ok..I'm about to start enjoying this pager too mcuh

<Jon2> i actually gave money to a homeless dude today
<Jon2> i like fell out of my car laughing at his sign
<Jon2> "road rage practice area.  for only $1 per time, you can practice
  running me over"
<Jon2> and then he flipped to the next sign and it went on.. he had like three
  of them       

<elek> my boobs tried typing again

* rjp finds a gun to commit double suicide with core

* mr_bill just replaced his "foofy" soft toilet seat with a manly hard one

<dem> it will be the best 3 inches of your life

<jimmie> i'm playing with it now

<RoadRuner> i should stop having sex in the morning. i arrive here later and
  later every day

<Jon2> my god Exchange server is slow

<bitcheeee> noodles and balls 
<bitcheeee> that's all

* marcus licks tay's balls

<dem> I'm doing everyone

<dem> i cant even spell alcholol

* Caine kiais and goes limp

<mindshape> < #cpa;cja,ber pl
<mindshape> whoa
<mindshape> that was soposed to be '/m #coalchamber ok'

<Jon2> dude, i'd never let a woman tell me where i could drive.  i'd be like,
  HEY, why don't you go back in the bedroom, and dress up like a fireman, and
  wait until i get home so you can exercise my hose, bitch!?

<da5> Tingles all through me making me all hot and wet for you...alas I cannot
  do anything about it but mmmm its such a delicious feeling
<da5> er        
<da5> hi        

<frash> I once got 'floormat burns' from the back of my mom bronco

<jimmie> its maybe 18" if that

<vampy-> Xney there were 3 7500's sitting in the whore house and I petted them
  and nothing to happened to them
<vampy-> whore/whare 
<vampy-> lol    

<xer-> I thought I was your girlfriend fjodder
<xer-> s/girlfriend/boyfriend

<drGonzo> hrm
<drGonzo> the on site sleazy male type is hitting on another asian chick
* drGonzo listens to stupid one-liners fly behind his cube
* drGonzo tells marcus-type to shut up

<dpk2> shit.. who sold my nuts?!

<Caine> xney: I cut 9 inches and my shower time went down 20 minutes.

-> *son* showkills from xney*
*** Signoff: son (Excess Flood)

<tober> A Craig full of beans ought to be considered to be a munition.

<morkeleb> yeah, my back seat still hasn't recovered from the last time craig
  was in it 

<joeN> it sucks!!! run for your lives!!!!

<piraeus> cool, I'll poke it when I get to office tonight

<morkeleb> have sex with a comforter with a little head poking out of it isn't
  as interesting

<LoverMan> Missi's all the ma...woman I need.

<tober> As for me, I have to work out my sexual frustrations by writing
  software.

<tober> unf unf unf unf unf unf sp00.  . o O { Mmmmmmmkay, now let's go to
  IHOP }

<FlashMan> I really like cartman's attitude
<FlashMan> I think he most closely represents me when I was a kid
<FlashMan> except I was skinny

<FlashMan> Randy Bush is one of the most acidic pompous jackasses you'll ever
  meet
<FlashMan> needs to have his hands in everything
<FlashMan> he's even more of a pompous jackass than me.

<Da5id> *slurp*
<Da5id> ack
<Da5id> umm
*** Da5id has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to Welcome to "The
  Wrong Window."

<boufa> i think i've done every room

*** dem has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to <webb in RL> it's
  nice to be on the bottom for a change

<dem> wahahaha
<dem> tammy just called iron horse champagne 'iron maiden'

<Tsk-> squrl's coming to eat me 
<Tsk-> s/eat/get 
<Tsk-> freudian slip, sorry

<rone> whoa.
<rone> i've been fisted.

<EFudd> HAHAHAAHH
<EFudd> Subject: Req For Winframe Account
<EFudd> Hi Jason,
<EFudd> Can U pl... Create this account Immediatly.
<EFudd> User Id : crapolla
<EFudd> Password :crapolla
<EFudd> Other Info
<EFudd> 1) User Full Name:Claudia Rapolla

<dem> no no no i said *PLUCK* the chicken

<js> [(msg)murphy69] lezzy sex? can i watch *drool*
<js> *murphy69* sure  (demongirl@dynamic39.pm01.san-jose.best.com [01:02])
<js> hrm
<js> yay!
* js meeps
<sQurl> you realize she works in the walsh ncc?
<js> oh
<js> shit
<js> no

* morkeleb goes DOWN HARD

<Tskk> What goes vroom-screech, vroom-screech?
<Tskk> A blonde driving through a flashing red light.

<Fjoder> I've seen ads where a couples want to meet other couples with large
  animals
<Fjoder> its sick

<Fjoder> I rather hump a sheep than getting a golden shower

<tikigodd> i'm marrying andyd

* TikiGodd is applying to cmu.
<TikiGodd> cause it looks like cum

<tay> marcus doesn't scare them off
<tay> he just turns them into lesbians

<FlashMan> touch my penis and you will be redeemed (but only if you are female
  and good-looking).

<lammah> vivek: 'where's /etc/services?'

* PetrDoubt redistributes Bleet Goat Protocol into Oh Shit Peter Fuckedup

<Gersh> one girl and I were talking about solarix x86 durring sex

<RoadRuner> craig: i have ceiling fans at the new place. bring the kittens
  over =)      

<FlashMan> I get the bong

<outcaste> Mr Gates donated $38 million to aids research?>
<brian2> yeah, outcaste, he wants windows to be the only deadly disease
  affecting millions

<ktm> Career Goals: To find a job where I can afford a Happy Meal without
  using two paychecks.

*** Schrade has changed the topic on channel #Best to <Mike Mcammon IRL> I've
  never been able to get length on mine

<Fjoder> gonna be a monk I've had it with girls

<redbird> Uncut men look odd.

<Jon2> what does "uncut" mean?

<andyd> my hole is VERY barred

<Peasie> oooh batteries

<tay> I never realized just how big Vanessa Williams breasts are.

<Da5id> i masturbate several times a day. i'm hardly sexually frustrated.
<Da5id> er      

<Missi> Ok..  Hogan's weenie is NOT a peice of shit damnit

<RoadRuner> but i could do this much faster without taking my hand off the
  keyboards

<FlashMan> and you'll find that Cisco stuff tends to work outside of Exodus

<CosmicMJ> there is no  penis on my tv
<CosmicMJ> if there was, I sure as hell wouldn't be on irc

<CosmicMJ> me+man=sex

<Blaxthos> i always thought paige was a d00d

<Jon2> i like how your nuts will gently bang up against a chick's ass while
  you take her from behind

<sQurl> ok...the baaaing noises from the living room are...

*** dem has changed the topic on channel #Best to <mj IRL> I'm Going to stop
  eating meat and go on a protein diet

<CosmicMJ> my pants are shaking

<FlashMan> I'm going to bed
<FlashMan> dreaming of my wife & rose
<FlashMan> err
<FlashMan> my wife & jill

<Ts_k> i made use of the flight attendants.

<rjp:&best.net> My God
<rjp:&best.net> it's full of morons

<sQurl> you've had one rodent you've had them all

<sQurl> nice repetitive *thump*

<gavroch3> i just sit and watch it grow

<lindsey> its not the size that counts its how much it holds.. gods that 
   is small

<Scott_NYC> I noticed that when I'm having sex with my cat, it claws the hell
  out of my legs.

<sQurl> NO FUCKING SQURLING
<sQurl> er
<sQurl> talka bout typos
<sQurl> lalalala

<rone> "Warning - Severe Anal Damage"  "Do Not Pull Out"

<sQurl> hey I've kissed your girlfriend too

<koitsu> i do believe i've found the source of the problem ;-)
*** koitsu has left channel #best
<PetrDoubt> hahah
<PetrDoubt> Problems solved.

<LoverMan> I need Missi's boobs to suck on

<tay> must be the bullseye on my forhead

* sQurl tucks small vibrating object into her pocket and gets ready to leave
<sQurl> (I'm tlaking about my pager, you perverts )

<Rodder> Astroglide > KY

<_warchild> is best.com down?
<_warchild> shell2.ba.best.com
<Schrade> yes the hacked accounts are down

<sQurl> dude I could use much more than a pacifier right now

<sQurl> can we PLEASE talk about something OTHER than my breasts for a change
  THANK YOU

<Xney> your posts did go through without me approving it I think
<Xney> "but xney's dsl was dead"
<Stemish> heh
<Stemish> the dsl outage hampered our ability to tell you about the dsl outage

<LadyDeth> i cant masterbate and type ...i can bearly type with two hands less
  then one ..Oh god now there would be a typo hello

* Tsk gets down on his knees  
* redbird unzips
<redbird> Tsk, wanna come over here?
<redbird> stay on your knees though

<LadyDeth> your sharing your penis..is there enough to go around the whole
  cause if not put it away mommy says share with everyone or dont share at all

<mindshape> here comes a long one

<morkeleb> screwing a saw horse is not my idea of fun

<morkeleb> 40% isn't that big of a pay cut is it?

<Psyber> well...semen is a great source of sodium and protein, that coupled
  with a balanced diet can give your girlfriend a healthy sheen to her hair
  and nice teeth.

<tay> oh, well, I have an idea
<tay> lets talk about MY favorite subject
<tay> ME

<sQurl> I have one more input?

<mindshape> i swallow

<dem> wow these wieners are SPICY

<CosmicMJ> ya little karl would be cool
<CosmicMJ> I could keep him in my pocket

<mindIRC> imagine if it would've gone in my mouth

<frash> I got these mad perky tits!

<Efudd> yea, I come in chicken and ham too.

<tay> <comstudRL> MY ASS HURTS!@!
<comstud> my ass does hurt.

<roneBOFH> ouch.  Pete Sampras on Babs Streisand: She's what I call a pitching
  wedge. She looks good from about 150 yards away.

<Jon2> i like a big penis penetrating my quivering anus
<amagosa-b> Jon2: That must be why you bought a house in the BA

<MikeWerk> i went flacid after 30 mins of repeated attempts
<MikeWerk> i paid him all i had

<CosmicMJ> frendian slip

<LadyDeth> he is huge

<Stemish> sorry, we are verio, no one hears yours screams

<Jon2> I WILL FUCK YOU UP THE ASS

<dem-> I don't think I've ever had sex while computer chatting.  Maybe a blow
  job, tops.  when I was like 16.  I shall excuse this behavior with the age
  card, thank you.
<rone> dem-: how could you give a blowjob and type at the same time?

<rone> i hadn't realized just how annoying No Doubt really is until my
  cubemate started playing the whole album.

<CosmicMJ> I hate shell news readers for pron

<jimmie> TOPSHAM, Maine (AP) -- A Missouri man who came to Maine to pursue a
  relationship with a woman he had met over the Internet died after cutting
  his neck with a chain saw on her front lawn to prove his love.

<jimmie> sex? is that a type of cheese?

<LDSeattle> im HOT!!!!

*** Signoff: andyd (Local kill by coremon ((Auto-Kill) links looker))

<CosmicMJ> two knots per stem, if it's long enough

<dem-> sorry, I was eating a pickle (really).

<CosmicMJ> so were gonna meet up when he gets a chance, to go over waht the
  company is about
<CosmicMJ> he's got a package and everything

<CosmicMJ> semi doesnt' count, less youre really tight
<CosmicMJ> uh
<CosmicMJ> I mean
<CosmicMJ> HI

<DanL> who did kanan marry?  brian2?

<morkeleb> hell karl got laid ... anything can happen

<Road-Kill> smix &
<Road-Kill> x11amp &
<Road-Kill> ack
<Road-Kill> damn irc window getting in the way

<{Mantis}> Im talking about the whole ball of wax, scorps usually only know
  how to use the equipent welll

<drGonzo> i own more csco than jered ;)

<PetrDoubt> BGP with PB and Verio...that sounds like a recipe for total
  reliability...

<FlashMan> no time even for a quickie

<Psyber> whats up with verio?
<JakCrow> it's verio

<brian2> man, tori amos just cannot suck enough
<brian2> "I'VE BEEN WRONGED BY EVERY MAN IN MY LIFE, KILL MEN, MAIM MEN, FUCK
  MENNNNNNNNNNNNNNN"

<CosmicMJ> whoa that was nbad
<CosmicMJ> I could identify this one porn star, by his dick hahahahah
<CosmicMJ> whoa that sounded bad

<Stemish> this is funny: one of Jason's email messages to a customer
  got ROT13'd before it was received.

<ami--> karlos, are you huge?

<ami--> i have to adjust my eyesockets after sex.

<Arian> X: How big is it?

<CosmicMJ> now there is just a memory of a once round and firm buttock

<Arian> dont look at me, I just provide the pipe

<ParaGod> My ethernut hub has so many blinking lights, I think it deserves a
  spot on top of the Christmas tree.

<Efudd> <-- LIKES VAGINA
<Efudd> er

<Jon2> hang on larz let me grab my ankles

<dem> "If Winoze is the answer, can we please have the problem back?"
<dem> --sig from earlytime (earlrob@mnsinc.com)

<PetrDoubt> Can't everyone just buy everyone else, and get it over with?

<sQurl> ->   107 May 15 Got Milk?          (49)   SIX FAGS MARINE WORLD
* sQurl falls over laughing
<sQurl> I still don't believe tay typoed that

<ktm> I've decided, Karl, to work on my resume every time Verio has a suck
<ktm> I've had a lot of time, lately

<mindshape> heh i'm walking around with only one contact in my eye
<mindshape> i should go and put the other one in

<PsiMidget> Karlee..Karlee reads a lot of scifi/fantasy too..
<PsiMidget> I mean..Karl          

<CosmicMJ> my turtle is covered in apple sauce brb

<PetrDoubt> All our representatives are busy looking for new jobs.  Please
  hold while we attempt to hire newer losers.

<rone> man...  back when SGI spun off MIPS, i wrote a little slogan for SGI:
<rone> "SGI: We buy `em, we ruin `em, we spin `em off!"
<rone> prophetic words

<CosmicMJ> what kind of man are you rone?
<rone> after sex, a sleepy one
<CosmicMJ> yer one of those roll over guys huh?

<CosmicMJ> no, you see, the big dick was supposed to go to another channe.

* _Melody_ is away: sex

<CosmicMJ> that I wont' have bad dreams
<CosmicMJ> maybe I'll have a hawt sex0r dream with nicholas cage
<mindshape> yeah, me too
<mindshape> er

<PetrDoubt> kpd:  Verio can beat any price on packet loss that AGIS quotes
  you.

<kpd> "Now, the Verio strategy is moving into another phase where it's focusing
  on execution."
<JakCrow> of it's employees?

*** Strahd has been kicked off channel #twilight_zone by drifter (<Strahd>
  drifter, you kinda look like jon2)

<todd> alright then.  let me see.  i will visit a website in honor of
  st1ng

<Tsk> this is MUCH softer on my ass
...
<Tsk> not my fault all this wood hurts my ass
...
<Tsk> maybe i should try this mountain dew bottle

<sQurl> linky's is bigger than yours I think

<XDice> In certain positions, it's pain free, and in others, ouch, it hurts.

*** MrEddie (eddie@tntport0120.cwjamaica.com) has joined channel #Best
<JakCrow> begone
*** Signoff: mjf (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer))
<JakCrow> damn, wrong target

<LadyDeth> nude men ?  
<LadyDeth> that sounds good

<_Melody_> sheesh
<_Melody_> you get a guy a decent buttplug
<_Melody_> and he doesn't even take it with im. :(
* _Melody_ sniffs.

<RoadRuner> sh dialer int dialer2
<RoadRuner> ack

<Efudd> I ahve my standards.
<Efudd> Yes, i am gay. Yes, I like women. It could be worse.. I could be
  hetero sexual and like women.

<jason`> sQurli: i'm putting money on ryan as being the bigger of the two

<drifter> hrm, I like the new def leopard
<drifter> er
<drifter> leppard

<PetrDoubt> Someone is at the reception desk with a routing problem. haha

<PetrDoubt> "Our local support is in Dallas, sir."
<PetrDoubt> Remember, when you call Dallas, you aren't calling across the
  country, you're calling next door!

<dws> think of best.com as a deck chair -- one with a good view -- on the
  titanic

<dem> this is a weird conversation
<dem> i am typing on irc to tammy she is talking on the phone to me

<FlashMan>         Controller Memory Size: 64 MBytes DRAM, 8192 KBytes SRAM
<FlashMan> 382836 crashes since last restart.

*** drGonzo has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to Anal Sex: lube
  or no lube?
<marcus> no lube
<marcus> but thats cuz i'm small

<Jon2> i am touching my penis

<LoverMan> We got married when we had no money, so I think I'm safe.
<FlashMan> no, you're safe because you're a complete submissive

<Tsk> i swallowed, but i didn't SAY i did

<Twazard> DSL ... it's like some sort of dream that'll never come true

<MaHacker> rone beat me

<todd> you expect us to believe strahd has a woman?

<asaddi> it's every-so-slowly increasing in size :)

* amnesia just submitted his resume for a position at burger king
<amnesia> theyh are pretty selective :[

<marty> ah. now this is an improvement: shell3 now seems to have disappeared.

<marcus2> s/et novice off

<Stemish> You are on shell3.  Passages lead to shell2, shell4, and shell5.  I
  smell a wumpus!

*Strahd* /me kisses shannon 
*Strahd* ack

<sQurl> yea, so I'm just gonna have to buy a bigger strap on
<LoverMan> I paid like $700 for my 32"

<rone> c'mon, kentaro...  you ain't had ass until you've had latin ass.

<Cozmik> I just realized my turtle is the same size as my Microsoft mouse
<Cozmik> lol  

<marcus> personally i only wear heels with cocktail dresses

<PetrDoubt> We've also got NOC people editing zone files with pico, and
  breaking them.  Lots of them.

<Efudd> I'd rather have no car than a broken window.

<PetrDoubt> OK, kids...what's the maximum number of SOAs per zone?
<PetrDoubt> If you said 2, you have a career waiting for you at Verio!

<Efudd> but I have absolutely NO interest in "getting laid"

<RoadRuner> efudd: okay the ehater and fan works

<PetrDoubt> Dallas' phones are screwed, so they are going to route their calls
  here.
<PetrDoubt> That should really help!

<dem-> yes, the dine.com people tend to be incredibly random.
<dem-> "This is the best chinese in the world!!  and I should know, I am from
  New Jersey!"  etc.

<tay> and its so BIG!

<ktm:#best-eq> note to self: do not autorun through lavastorm

<Precious1> I can not keep my clothes on

<rebewt> dunno, did what #BitchX told me

* Tsklight sits at home waiting for reid's package

<Roadie> confreg 0x2142
<Roadie> ack

<Efudd> and nik heard the dolphins on it
<sQurl> riiiight
<Efudd> the earth is spinning in your living room
<Efudd> and 
<Efudd> what the fuck amj i talking about
<Efudd> i'm stoned
<Efudd> whoah
<Efudd> this is wild
<Efudd> I think I neeed ot take another hit
<Efudd> my fingers won't stop typgin
<Efudd> holy fuck  help me now
<Efudd> lala
<Efudd> bya

<PetrDoubt> We say we're sorry because...we ARE sorry.

<Jon2> hey squrl, do you think my ass is sexy?
<sQurl> only when you're bent over and spread for me and my strapon

<Centripity> to you...
*** CTCP PING from Ka_Shima 
<Centripity> everyone else is 15 sex

<sQurl> wow I get points for being dumb
<sQurl> I had a cd in my burner under the blank
<sQurl> and never noticed

<CosmicMJ> no, no problems cept it took him three times to get the thing
  positioned in my throat right so it would go into my stomache the right way
  or whatever
<CosmicMJ> er

<PetrDoubt> Security = fumbling with filters until the attack stops.

<vampy-> besides im a big girl and I like big things.. what can I say 

<PetrDoubt> Gee, the people who moved alzheimers.net's DNS away from us forgot
  to tell us.

<sQurl> which I remembered to check what size mine were

<RoadRuner> flashman is about as liberal as a marble is sharp

<dpk> * Matt_B is gonna wear his belt buckle mistletoe...gonna be a good
  Christmas 

<Stemish> isn't part of being a Tier I provider having really obtuse DNS?

<sQurl> *** Notice -- Received KILL message for Karl. From irc.best.net
* sQurl laughs

<PetrDoubt> My god, Dallas is clever.
<PetrDoubt> "This customer can't get crypto software...can you make this IP
  reverse?"
<PetrDoubt> Sure.  Poof.  It reverses.
<PetrDoubt> Has for weeks.
<PetrDoubt> Did you TRY it??

<PetrDoubt> Remember, when you call from Dallas to MV to get someone to do an
  nslookup, you aren't calling across the country.  You're calling next door!

<PetrDoubt> Wow, that's elite.  Customer's DSL is down, so he sends a partial
  traceroute.  The middle of the traceroute.  Not the beginning.  Not the part
  where it stops.  The middle.
<PetrDoubt> "My DSL is down.  Here's some hops in alternet."
<PetrDoubt> Thanks, dude.

<raz_> boufa: I have a 1/2" one 
<EFudd> right now i have a 7/8" one

<Farloow> 1mp : fuck off *grin*
<XDice> nono, let me do that. :-)

* sQurl gets out the astroglide and strapon and heads over to mels

<sQurl> nah I was already wet enough
<sQurl> er

<FlashMan> my penis is a good 10"

<rone> New!  Wire Monkey Barbie!  Comes with pink cable and crimper!

<PetrDoubt> There is a systems engineer who has his desk in the corner of the
  machine room now.

*** _Melody_ has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to
  http://205.158.55.116/mewcowmew/music/s/SavageGarden/TrulyMadlyDeeply.mp3
<_Melody_> er

<tay> my ass is sticking to the leather

<LadyDeath> im netsexing squrl hush now :P

<sQurl> yea, all fury has to do is masturbate and he's banging a 17 year old
<Furyion--> shuddup jill!

<LadyDeath> let me talk to the dicks

<dem> <EQ mode> you want to see a REAL root spell?  kill -9 `ps -ef | grep
  dork | grep -v grep | cut -f2`

<Daffy> 60" is like minimum 
<Daffy> I'd love the 80" one

<jimmie> golden handcuffs? mine are platinum

<dem> i am NOT putting my penis in an electric anything thank you very much

<moogle> it is 2" thick.

*** dem has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to jimmie you guys
  figured out what is up with your name servers?
<dem> doh

<andyd> I want to go get like $1M in cash and just sleep in it for a night

<rone> since best, i've waited the normal 3 month period to bring in my bat. 
  it seems i will need its magical totem powers if i am to survive here.

<Stemish> "How many NOC staff does it take it screw in a light bulb?"
<PetrDoubt> 500 to send the outage notices to nocstaff, 14 managers to
  escalate it to client services and back, and one to change it.

<CosmicMJ> can we get a head start now?

<Arian> "The Penis is once again...your friend."

<Arian> I feel so...small.  
<CosmicMJ> you should

<rone> "i'll take 'things that squeeze' for $300, alex" "anus, pylorus, jeff
  chan" "What are famous sphincters?" "correct!"

<jimmie> multi-millionaire 
<jimmie> get it right

<Tsk> god i want another penis

<FlashMan> so you can use standard flash equipment

<Jon2> today i am thankful that white people conquered this land

* LadyDeath screws like a frantic bull in a china shop :P

<UncleJed> i already have a corn on the cob vibrator

<Tsk-mind> jimmie, slap farlow with your large robust penis please.

<LadyDeth> xney help im lost in your box :P

<jds`> dammit, its not done, I have to keep sucking..

<frash> being a chick rules

<frash> agreed. I heard that they don't let jill have a seat cushion on planes
  due to 'excess flotation equipment"

<jimmie> ok, i'll go get the astroglide, who's coming over?

<_Dragon_:#fearfactory> what is it? I can't see irc and internet at ther same
  time.

<FlashMan> wonder if I should sell one or two shares to pay off my truck and
  credit cards

<jimmie> ewps
<jimmie> i did some work, we lost 2 points

<vampy> you thought that i was screaming the last time.. just try it now

<jimmie> Xney3: my dad called and said "so about this laptop you are buying
  me.. it needs a case, I know of a nice itallian company that makes cases.."

<piker> i wish i had a cock to suck on right about now.

<sQurl> you could get laid here taner

<tay> my hand is numb

<Jon2> who wants to touch me?

<sQurl> I'm contagious what can I say

<dem> bigger is enough for the bedroom

<jimmie> ok I need to mount my antenna today

<lammah> lammahs are hung wel

<MindKilla:#fearfactory> you know if FF is gonna come to the states?

<PetrDoubt> That's what monopoly is all about!
<PetrDoubt> Prividing cheap service for you, due to efficiency.

<ParaGod> one of my favorite lines is (talking to a female of course) "I want
  to eat you out until my face looks like a glazed donut"

<docGonzo> daffy : pot :: melody : money

* LadyDeth marries Daffy 
<LadyDeth> no wait that would make me stoned not happy

Sat Jan  1 16:25:06 PST 2000
<LadyDeth> im never getting married 

<cooks> i feel like harassing people and causing general trouble.  i think
  i'll start "helping" in #help.  <muahahahahahah>

* Da5id rubs his beard
<Da5id> i smell my girlfriend.

<LadyDeth> can you please do me

<roman> i'm seeing two studs at once

<tay> get your ass in the other room and prepare to be mounted.

<sQurl> I'm wet

<PetrDoubt> rone fucked mothra?

<piker> i should shave and grow boobs then get a job at Hooters

<LadyDeath> ya know next time someone talks to my tits i think i am going to
  get on my knees and start talking to their zipper

<Phisher> fucking kicked my power button

<sQurl> hm, can I be a slut?  
<sQurl> I like that idea =)

<LadyDeath> sex: where the man bores a woman :P

* callas 's tummy is still recorvering from the in n out

<dem> go get ready byatch.. if you are coming that is

<roman> i can do stemish manually, i guess.

*** callas is now known as ho

<CosmicMJ> I wanna have sex in that new sparkly bubbly jelllo shit
<CosmicMJ> er
<CosmicMJ> did I say that outloud?

<Daffy> this statement is gonna sound all wrong.. but i'm working on a cute
  chick.. she's just currentl grounded. ;P

<notmoogle> I'm surprised nobody on irc ever noticed that there was a smurf
  named Vanity Smurf

<Arian> I'm hard

<Psyber> my exwife was bisexual and was always trying to set me up with the
  babysitter so we could have a threesome
<Psyber> well...
<Psyber> i divorces the ex and am going to propose to the babysitter in 2
  weeks :)

<tay> mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmvibrationnnnnnnnnsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

<LadyDeth> i just spilled hot soup down my clevage

* LadyDeth gets a boner

<LadyDeth> Xney i ride well

<FlashMan> little black kitty just got a nail trimming
<FlashMan> because little black kitty just pierced my nipple with her claw

<Jon2> and honestly, an older woman might not be that bad
<Jon2> might be an improvement

<tay> think I'm gonna go eat a banana
* Xney3 gives tay his banana
<tay> I don't play with miniature banana's. my appetite is too big.

<CosmicMJ> dude I would totally boink her, in a second, flat on her back
  booyah!
<CosmicMJ> er
<CosmicMJ> that sucked ass

<CosmicMJ> you don't like lick it, your mouth goes inside it

<LadyDeath> was it big?

<CosmicMJ> hype34r kit776ty on383 the key78b93ard

<lump> i'm blowing my nose, not you

* LadyDeth smacks xney]
<LadyDeth> you are such a MALE

<msk_> tay smacked me with her dick

<al1an> is aol like best?

<roneSC4> I'M PISSED OFF.. .BUT I'M HAPPY

<LadyDeth> i never had to get it turned on before

<FlashMan> I worked for EDS once.  I know what not to do if I want my business
  to survive.

<roneBOFH> Petr: they go work for Verio NOC because they dont' have Fry's out
  there, eh?

<roneBOFH> maybe all shell3 users could share the console connection

<Da5id> my wrist hurts
<Da5id> being single sux
<Da5id> err

* frash licks Loverman back
<frash> err KICKS
<frash> woops!

<CosmicMJ> a dick is a terrible thing to waste

<callas> how long you gotta keep em before they're hard

<LadyDemon> callas it should get hard within minutes of takin it out

<CosmicMJ> yea, but I can't get back there, or on the floor to do it the right
  way or whatever

<frash> tay: I am an 'all anal' penguin person now

<Da_f> I just realized I was watching a program on hair restoration.

* brian2 reads through a letter to the editor about how this 18 year old chick
  can name the hospitals all the members of NSync were born in, but can't name
  even 10 of the 50 state capitals..

<andyd> I can't believe I just did that
<andyd> I lasted ALL day

<rone> what the hell is a "debian potato"?
<martyF> a cookie for an irish Linux user?
<rone> good guess

<Arian> I know how sex works
<Arian> Between MJ and Celia, statistically I should be dead

<Arian> Mand when Karl nad MJ adn Tammy and Dem went at it all at once, dogs
  down the street started howling from the noise

<cooksii> when do we set our cocks back?  
<cooksii> clocks? 

<L1ghtning> Hey, I can have sex anytime, but my beer only stays cold for so
  long..

<L1ghtning> Define bigger....first of all...everyone's going to have a claim
  based on a different measurement..

<Tsk> i like dog head

*Perly* pardon this silly question, but are you the same karl that used to run
  mcs?

<RoadRuner> LD:should i come over for our quickie lunch now?

<sQurl> jonas is gonna make me ride that thing

<Jon2> i was so stoned last night
<Jon2> i saw a piece of black plastic on the ground, and thought it was a dead
  bat
<Jon2> and i stared at it for like 10 minutes

<frash> I found out it was daylight savings time when Nox crashed out becuase
  the desktop 'Its dayulight savings time' thing poped up in Win95

<LadyDeth> ummm cucumbers

<road-ebo> werd boufa. Don't make me come ovah there bitch...
<road-ebo> hahahhahhaa, and what's that oil on my nuts?

<Darkshde> tober: do you do guy stuff?
<tober> What constitutes "gay stuff"?

<ParaGod> True story. My friend Brian used to be a radiology tech.. and
  someone came in with a vibrator stuck in his hass.  In the OR, right before
  he went under, the doc asked if he wanted him to remove teh vibrator or just
  change the batteries.

<mel-yoda> in a freaky note, my boss's 5 year old son put a sparkler gun up to
  his dad's head and said "dodge this."

<PetrDoubt> "Blackout for 00Q1 begins on 04/07, so there should be plenty of
  time for the options to be credited to your account before then."
<PetrDoubt> Date: Fri, 07 Apr 2000 16:29:31 -0700
<PetrDoubt> Thanks, Verio!

<moogle4> my girlfriend barked
<moogle4> then she is in the bathroom
<moogle4> want some?  It's good

<sQurl> look, bitch, you like your O: line?

<sQurl> argh my shirt keeps trying to make a break for it

<marcus> Apr  8 12:13:33 bonita suhd[23392]: fataT: Loca(/ Corru=/ed cheru
  bytesoon inpu

*** Signoff: vx0 (Connection reset by SWBT lineman who CAN'T RECOGNIZE A
  FUCKING T1 LINE)

*** Caine2 (caine@nod.malkavian.com) has joined channel #best
*** Signoff: Caine2 (Local kill by Caine2 (Thanks aaron))

<Tsk> "Believe me, dog-rape is the least of your worries."
* Tsk blinks     
<Tsk> overhearing parts of conversations from co-workers is scary

<tay> I dunno how long it is, never measured it

<FlashMan> metric assload is a technical term.
<FlashMan> fuckton is shorthand.

<roneLOSER> i'm just getting in touch with my inner fascist

<Tsk-> This thermometer is on crack.
<Tsk-> my ass is NOT 105 degrees
<demit> Tsk- most people dont LIKE rectal thermometers
<LoverMan> Why the fuck are you taking your temp rectally?
<Tsk-> Yes well, this one is special.  It's got a lazer.
<demit> you are putting a LASER IN YOUR ASS?
<LoverMan> Only legit excuse to put something up your ass without coming off
  as being gay?

<Tsk-> I don't felch MYSELF
<Tsk-> er, i dont felch ANYONE

<Xney3> craig and jered look more like cousins than brothers
<FlashMan> that's because in my family, my cousins *are* my brothers

<DanL>  JASON IS A GIRL
<DanL> oops
<DanL> hahaha
<DanL> how'd that get on my buffer?

<{Mantis}> we had an interesting conversation once while we were both doing
  nitrous balloons...
<{Mantis}> pure...pharamsuetical grade nitrous I might add
<{Mantis}> we were in the middle of this awesome conversation and then we both
  looked up and here walking up to us....was this naked woman who was painted
  from head to toe as a cheetah...
<{Mantis}> with wiskers and all...I thought I was hallucinating...and then she
  walked up to me...and reached out and said...."can I have some of your
  ballooon"
<{Mantis}> I was so startled I let it go......and it went zinnning around,....
<{Mantis}> she went damn.........now I'll have to blow and another one...

<Paige> karl, yes well.. at least i didn't scream too loudly.. i don't think..

<RoadRuner> i just did a man on it too =)

<goha> looks like they just blew the entire second floor

<Phisher> thats me, i work for dick

<FlashMan> I like S&M
<FlashMan> but only if it's a female dominatrix

<callas> can it stay up for more than 24 hours?
<andyd> take viagra

<CosmicMJ> I can hold a lil bit, not all of it
<CosmicMJ> it just takes a lot to suck it all out
<CosmicMJ> er
<CosmicMJ> uhm.

<LadyDeth> just cause i have to blow 3 legged monkeys for crack money dont
  mean it is a bad thing

<Vilas> the trim was all kinds of fucked up on the plane I flew today, thing
  was stiffer than a 14 year olf boy in a whorehouse, no matter what I did
<Vilas> errr wrong chan

<vampy> I cant wait to go home and get undresed

<Wiredrunk> alcoh9ol, rules

<FlashMan> I was in the store the other day
<FlashMan> to buy a new pair of shoes
<FlashMan> I picked up a sorta-plain pair of running shoes
<FlashMan> brought them to the counter
<FlashMan> and the kid with his trousers hanging about 4" below his boxers
  said "so, you like the retro-look with your shoes, eh?"
<FlashMan> I'm like "uhh, you mean the plain look?"
<Xney3> craig == dennis leary

<LadyDemon> hey Karl
<LadyDemon> i got one of those wrist things and your nuts!

<frash> WHY DOES MY ASS HURT EVERYTIME I GO OUT TO EAT WITH TSK ?!

<PetrDoubt> Man, when the DMV is a relief from your job, something is wrong.

<Arian> So you're a dyke.
<Arian> :)
<CosmicMJ> no, still bi :)
<Arian> You swore off men
<CosmicMJ> I stil.l like dick, just dont' really want any right now
* Arian bits tongue to avoid being overly crude
<Arian> See, as soon as MJ can get on her knees again, it will all change.

<todd> ktm: I ate your eel

<roman`> <german guy> what's your ring size, jill? <squrl> what? i don't have
  a penis
<roman`> so much for german.

<madmax> the only place tsk invites me is his bed :(

<todd> I wanted to say this, but... I can't believe how stiff I am.  It just
  makes no sense.

<PetrDoubt> You don't need money, you just need a way with sheep...

<Arian> AGATE, Colo. (AP) -- A volunteer at an exotic animal refuge had
<Arian>                       her right arm torn off by a Siberian tiger that
  became startled after she
<Arian>                       reached her hand into the cage to pet the
  animal.

<moogle> lesson one:
<moogle> do not kline yourself.

<zoo0oop> IM BORED
<zoo0oop> AND MY PANTS ARE TOO TIGHT
<zoo0oop> DAMMIT

<CosmicMJ> i haven't worn a bra in over a week

<Roadie> ls -l windows
<Roadie> ack    

<ElJay> I'm going to wet my panties tomorrow

<CosmicMJ> i'm sick of smoking pot, bleh
Tue Jun  6 16:24:48 PDT 2000

<tay> the set up, the SLAM, and da5id is down for the cunt !
<tay> count     

* cooksii doesn't have a gag reflex anyways.

* cooksii adjusts her halo around her ankles againl.

<marcus> ``Cable is to the Internet what lightning is to the lightning bug,''
  said Jack Valenti, head of the Motion Picture Association of America, at
  Thursday's hearing.
<marcus> Mr. Valenti said "I don't know" 62 times, "I don't recall" 29 times,
  and "I'm not aware" 16 times.

<FlashMan> we had a guy at pyramid who was stupid enough to plug a mac monitor
  (DB15)
<FlashMan> into an AUI port on the mac
<FlashMan> and fizzle pop crack zzzt
<FlashMan> dead monitor

<CosmicMJ> sorry, i'm a bit rusty on mounting places
<rone> the kitchen table is good.
<rone> er.
<CosmicMJ> i dont' have a kitchen table :(
<PetrDoubt> Improvise.
<CosmicMJ> last time i did that, i ended up with faucet shaped bruises on my
  lower back, with the cool knob bruises on the sides too

<CosmicMJ> i need an elephant to ride.

* dpk looks through older messages from af.mil
<dpk> From: TinkerARSMail <TinkerARSMail@tinker.af.mil>
<dpk> Subject: Help Desk Ticket Open Notice
<dpk> Ticket Number TER000000000033, has been "Opened" for problem: OPERATOR
<dpk> ERROR..USER IS MORON...///ABC by the Help Desk.
<dpk> yeah, i checked the headers.. definitely from af.mil

<PetrDoubt> Then maybe you'll find this amusing:  The Verio newsletter now has
  summaries of each mail sent to all employees.  In case you missed them.

<XDice> I go to funerals, and look for the hot chix with the lace
  face-covering on.  You KNOW she's available.

<tay> hrm. there is a movie called 'the package' on
<tay> not what I thought it was about.
* tay dissapointed.

Tammy in the kitchen - "Wow these are some large breasts, honey!"

<todd> Stupid Internet

<MaHacker> rone is running around the house saying "your mind to my mind" in
  cornholio voice

<cooksii> honestly, i'm sitting in #zen answering some guy's questions about
  the meaning of life.  engrams are starting to sound rational.

* cookstv noticed how much she swore when the parrot said "fuck you" to
  piker's mom.

<roman`> hell, in the last week i've driven expensive cars, wore a bra (don't
  ask), watched girls kiss and strip, etc
<roman`> dull is not the correct word.

[on #best]
<memory\> hmmm. will irc.best.net stay online till they merged to verio.net?
<memory\> i mean...do the irc server will stay up?

<Efudd>   Power supply 1 status: good
<Efudd>   Power supply 2 status: failed
<Efudd>   Fan 3 status:          failed
<Efudd>   Fan 4 status:          failed

<FlashMan> Barbara Walters had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait
<FlashMan> several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that
<FlashMan> women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.
<FlashMan> She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men
<FlashMan> now walked several yards behind their wives.
<FlashMan> Ms. Walters approached one of the women for an explanation.
<FlashMan> "This is marvelous," she said. "What enabled women here to
<FlashMan> achieve this reversal of roles?"
<FlashMan> The Kuwaiti woman replied, "Land mines."

<CosmicMJ> i can sleep on my stomache.
<CosmicMJ> of course i wake up with my tits in my chin, but i can do it!

<sQurl> let me swallow first
<sQurl> er      
<sQurl> finish this bite of foods

<LoverMan> Holy shit, I've never smelled such a rancid dog fart

<LoverMan> I thinkthere's a bug in Solaris8

<marcus> xney; i once had a cco developer call me to ask for help debugging
  his script    
<marcus> and the problem was 
<marcus> #!/usr/local/bin/pearl
<marcus> (i'm not kidding)

<FlashMan> root@chuegen-sun:28:/usr/src/bind-9.0.0rc1#ls -l bin/dig/nslookup
<FlashMan> -rwxr-xr-x   1 root     other    6444328 Jul 13 12:50
  bin/dig/nslookup
<FlashMan> JESUS H. CHRIST

<Ka_Shima> The closest thing to a woman I have in my life is the melons I have
  in the fridge.

<remorse> i just ate reid!
<remorse> uhhhh 
<remorse> i just ate, reid

<Jon2> man
<Jon2> i wish i could give myself oral

<wjr> SHOW ME YOUR TITS
<wjr> oops

<golightly> we found some that were 1 1/2"
<golightly> that seemed larger than the ones i'd seen
<golightly> no  
<golightly> this are the kind you put in your mouth

<rone> It's Usenet. I can do anything.

<Daemon> fuck   
<Daemon> I just had to take apart my entire keyboard.. every key, and clean
<Alien88> Daemon: why?
<Daemon> due to a plumbing problem..  
<Daemon> no figure that out.. ;)

<jimgoat> haha this guy on leno just said "when I'm out, i cheet on my wife..
  but she doesn't know"
<jimgoat> and leno goes "you are much to smart for that right?" <wink>
<jimgoat> at the end he goes "can i use you on tv?" and the guy goes "sure!"

<jimmie6> I was expecting something much bigger wjr

<Arian> client quote, "Well, we were running https on 80 and http on
  443....they're all the same thing after all.."
<Arian> *smack*

<Jon2> i spend time on it so i can pick up women!
<Jon2> and men too

<golightly> i used steve's handcuff to hold my shorts on

* brent through with online/irk chix :P
Mon Jul 31 23:29:38 PDT 2000

<Jon2> you know, the concert tonight reminded me how much i like to watch fat
  white trash chicks dancing.
<Jon2> it makes me want to run up and smell them
<Jon2> ready made for jerry springer, i tell ya

<_Irish_> The suggestion of beauty is often more enticing than its raw state
<frash> Irish: true... gaping snatch shots arnt exactly the best
<frash> I cannot belive I just said 'gapign snatch'
<frash> in mixed company

<frash> I spent like 5 years beating off to green bar paper ASCII pr0n
<frash> I still sorta wood up at the sigh of a line printer

<frash> dude, if you squit, it was JUST LIKE ALMOST SEEING HER
<frash> squint  

<tober> My idea of "roughing it" is "no readily available connectivity faster
  than dialup". 

* jimmie27 is nekkid and alone with the two p's.. persiscam and playboy tv

<Jon2> we have a customer in central america running our equipment in a
  non-airconditioned room.. they are afraid if they install A/C that the
  locals will break into the office to get into the cool air

<YorkieLT> I did Tsk

<CosmicMJ> i don't need to go to a party to get laid, i have my boyfriend in a
  drawer upstairs

<golightly> i have an 11" but at GC we had 10" ones
<golightly> but that's it

<_Melody_> moogle, coming to dinner?
<_Melody_> bring your bf :)
<_Melody_> err
<_Melody_> gf

*** Signoff: sara (Local kill by sara (ghost))

<demit> I've tried uploading images. How can a name be invalid? If I name a
  photo,
<demit> that's it's name correct? I have a Macintosh..is that a problem?
<demit> real user mail

*** drGonzo has changed the topic on channel #twilight_zone to THE FIRST RULE
  OF PHISHER'S PENIS, YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT PHISHER'S PENIS.

<drGonzo> "I'm not sure it's actually possible to become friends with a
  British teenage guy. His idea is to to ask two questions . . . and then feel
  entitled to stick his tongue down your throat." 
<drGonzo> W Fifteen-year-old Mary-Catherine Lader, daughter of the U.S.
  ambassador to Britain, assessing British boys in an article in Tatler
  magazine.     

<todd> "I have an assignment on medieval music for school.  I visited your web
  site, but I did not have the time to search for the stuff I need.  Please
  send me everything you can on medieval music."
<todd> That's one smart kid.

<EarthShaman> Wohoo..I am playing with myself and I finally beat it

<mike_> mcse: microsoft certified solitaire expert

<golightly> mine's the size of a quarter exactly
<boii> mine too

<keltica> If you both enjoy it, then what is the problem?  It doesn't matter
  if it is a little strange, whatever works for you!
<keltica> Oh hell, wrong window  sorry!!!

<felix> we lost the vibrator last night
<felix> it sucked.

<tober> I've finally gotten over my shyness of asking people for sex, and now
  I've discovered that so far they all say 'no' anyways, so maybe it wasn't
  worth getting up the courage to ask.
<cooksii> ask?  you mean, you walk up to total strangers and say "Excuse me.
  Can we screw later, or should i just rent a video?"
<tober> But the biker chick said no.
<tober> She said I won brownie points for finally getting up the courage to
  ask, but that she wouldn't have sex with me.  I don't think the brownie
  points are redeemable for valuble prizes, either.

<rone> this is great... we now have two printers, one called "apfinance" and
  the other "apfinanc"

[talking about madbomber's exploits]
<mike_> madbomber's penis is a regular ellis island
<madbomber> na
<madbomber> my penis is more like..
<madbomber> alcatraz
<drGonzo> mike: what, it quarantines all the diseases coming from overseas?
<mike_> madbomber: unused for yearS?
<mike_> that's too bad :/

* MaHacker sticks her finger in xney
<MaHacker> oops
<MaHacker> i meant to say, "in xney's mouth"

<boii> DONT DISS MIcHAEL JACKSON
<boii> ok
<boii> wrong channel

<_Mikey_> who wants to go to exodus with me later?
<marcus> can we blow shit up?

<dpk> hehe.. looking for domain names. i wrote a program which reads
  www.news.com and www.zdnet.com and similar crap sites and puts together
  random consonant/vowel combinations based on it.
<dpk> it's pretty lame ;)
<Xney> dpk has too much free time
<dpk>         eeigoua.com avail
<dpk>         eeigoua.net avail
<dpk>         eeigouanet.com avail
<dpk> get it while its hot

<UncleJed> is that a cat5 in your pants or are you happy to see tsk?

<_Mikey_> Erotic is using a feather, kinky is using the whole chicken.

<_Mikey_> so are you gonna date me or not?
<Tsk> uh no i will not date you, you scare the living shit out of me.

[talking about visiting a girl's house]
<roman`> oh but i still messed up karl :)
<Xney> you did?
<roman`> like i went there around 2am to drop off some stuff for janine
<roman`> and i'm talking to her on the phone and i'm like "ok i'm here, come
  outside and get the papers" and she's like "no its cold out, come inside"
  and i was like "ok, but my car is running i cant' be long"
<roman`> then when her dad woke up at 6am we went downstairs to get something
  from her car and i find my car still running outside
<roman`> i'm like "oh crap"
<roman`> with the lights on and everything :(

<XDice> Why did God invent women?
<XDice> Answer: Because Sheep can't cook.

[talking to Xney]
<roman`> if she sees a chick, i'd say she'd be sitting on mj's face before you
  even say hi :)

<callas> no man in here is keeping it up for hours on end

<frash> I'd rather have my 30 seconds of QUALITY sex

<Tsk> are we keeping it small?

<WohTokyo> it thinks -6 is a flag
<Tsk> hm, i wonder what fag that means

* RoadRuner is good
<Furyion> (in bed)

<sQurl> they were going to take me into a whore house, bvut the guys at the
  door wouldn't let us in

<_Mikey_> no wonder my shift key sticks.

<Tsk> it's gonna get 10 times that size in a minute

<dpk> if it wasn't for yahoo chat, i'd never get laid.

<een> gimme beanie penis, or gimme death

<rone> xney: stay away from my woman!  or i'll lay my Latin vengeance upon
  thee.
<Xney> rone: ezekiel ?
<rone> ezequiel, sure.

<callas> all i did with marcus was get a case of the giggles

* marcus has a small one too

<Xney3> I just got this webvan.com ad, it starts out:
<Xney3> "Welcome to Webvan.com, where you are first in line.  How about
  shopping at a market where you always come first?"

<Jalapeno> if KrON can "flex" his ass, I wouldn't wanna go near it anyway

<callas> cooks: 2 or more in 1 night, 5 or more in a week, and 8 in a year

<callas> whoring is gender independant
<callas> altho
<callas> even if it were just 1 horse a night
<callas> that'd be really wrong.

<Xney3> I can't measure up to a horse :(
* cooks crosses xney off her "to do" list.
<Xney3> cooks: :( sorry.. I guess I am "a good size"

<een> did i look like i had problems eating dem?

<KeviKev> I got these boxer shorts from Zeus
<KeviKev> the band says "Godlike Performance"

<Pengo> MY COLON, IT IS BOLD

<dem_> "What kind of car goes 100 mph in 1st gear?"  "Any rental car."

<Xref> i wish i had a girl roommate so i could borrow her clothes

<FlashMan> [10:34AM] <oz:#cisco> jimmie: irix in latin means "owned"

<mr|ygb`> world.anarchy.com <-- is that a plubib host?
<Xney> what's a plubib?
<roneXODUS> .... plubib?
<roneXODUS> and where can i get one?
<laydback> a what?
<mr|ygb`> yah
<mr|ygb`> if it is plubic
<mr|ygb`> i wanan get one

*** een_ (irene@adsl-63-200-58-69.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net) has joined channel
  #best
<dws> een has a boner
<kavonr> yeah, jealous?
<dws> no, just impressed.

<cooksii> ohyeah baby i wanna cover you in CHEESE
<cooksii> oops. wrong window.

<vampy-> I want the full thing

<rone> i'm not sure that it's odd.  it's a normal symptom of a monolithic
  organization that's grown too big.
<rone> not unlike the linux kernel.

<Kanan> dont swallow so much then

<roneXODUS> 24468 www        1  10    0   73M   72M cpu0    3:58 46.74% python
<roneXODUS> a mailing list that has 3000+ administrative requests pending
  thanks to some retard spammer.

<een:#best> i haven't been able to stop touching my tits all day

<golightly> like you could get me in to bed :P
<marcus> why would i need to get you into bed? i have high speed internet at
  home

<rebysp> sigh...everyone is doing double penetration midget amputee amateur
  webcams now...i remember when it used to be fresh and exclusive!
<rebysp> THOSE WERE THE DAYS!

<Narcer> you can be the bigest bitch in the world, but if you clean your
  toilet with yappy toy poodles, you're alright by me

-driz:$*.dal.net- My apologies to all of you who were just accidentally K:
  lined from twisted.*.  It was an accident, and the problem has been fixed.
-> *driz* you just messaged about 60,000 people and bots

<marcus> can you make a cisco route packets based on their source address?
<Jon2> marcus: yes.  policy-based routing
<FlashMan> marcus - yes, using policy routing
<RoadRuner> marcus: yes. policy routing
<marcus> anyone else?
<drifter-> marcus: yes. policy routing

<marcus> hrm. i think i need to start taking my life more seriously
Sun Nov 26 23:47:55 PST 2000

(talking about Austin, TX)
<marcus> to quote a former #tz person (try), "the chicks down here are so hot
  they end up fucking each other"

<Tuwanda> : [staff] disks moved around on pinky 
<Tuwanda> karl: i read that dicks moved around on pinky

<LoverMan> And the rules of Golf have changed.  Instead of saying "Fore!" you
  say "Gore!" and get to retake the shot until you get it right.

<marcus> Please do not come to my cube in search of assistance in the future. 
  It would be unprofessional of me to ignore you outright, and this creates
  too much personal stress.
<marcus> would it be bad to put that in an email?

<marcus> Try AOL 6.0 With Our Best Offer Yet -- Up To 700 Hours FREE In A
  Month! Sign Up NOW!

<msk> demit: a few lesbians proposed to me so they could move to canada if
  bush won.
<demitall> you would think lesbians would LIKE bush
<msk> why?
<msk> oh bush, haha

<matrix-> 18 inches would be nothing here:)

<marcus> "Computer games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac Man affected us as
  kids, we'd all run around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to 
  repetitive music..."
<piker> marcus.. you just described a Rave

<marcus> so i called pacbell
<marcus> the guy anwswered "how can i make this the best call of your day" i
  said "it already is... i'm cancelling my pacbell service"

<jimmie> 902: SLOT 6:5w3d: BATMAN error cause (0x0000087E)

<Dys> my last 2 serious gf's were 5"11 & 6"1  Both were fucken psycho... so I
  came to the conclusion that women can't handle the altitude over 5"9

<Jon2> i need some new high heels

<demitall> you can use .. uh i cant remember the name... on log files for
  analysis.. and its free

<vampy> Xney so we can do it on the bed like last time

<Efuddv3> i was doing more sideways pushing than anything...

<EarthShaman> note to self: www.manpages.com is NOT an online resource to get
  *nix man pages

<LoverMan> Newsgroups: comp.sys.sun.admin
<LoverMan> One of my junior sa's performed the following incantation: 'chown
  -R user /'

<LoverMan> Oh GOD how fucking lame, you need the CD to uninstall Visio and
  it's at work.

<een> big cock
<een> erm
<een> that ws a bad mischan

*** xyst is now known as Caeser
* Caeser Marcus Aurelius
*** Signoff: Caeser (Killed (irc.exodus.net (irc.lightning.net(xyst) <-
  irc.total.net[ali.total.net])))

<cooks> Your mouse has moved, Windows NT (tm) needs to be restarted in order
  for this change to take effect. Reboot now? [Y]

<piker> i just had a cock in my mouth.
<piker> i knew i sholdnt have said it after i hit return

<EfuddSJC> So cooksii is a transvestite.
<cooksii> naw, efudd.  i went to AAMCO. they fix trannies.

<stranged>  Motherboard Temp               Voltages
<stranged>  255C / 491F / 528K        Vcore1:   +3.984V
<stranged>                            Vcore2:   +3.984V
<stranged> er
<stranged> uhhh
<xyst> uhhhhhhh

<rone> <Xney> bleh.. time to work on the resumeRead from remote host
  ennui.org: Connection reset by peer
<rone> Connection to ennui.org closed.
<rone> thanks xney.

<Tsk> I will NOT be some man's fuck toy.

<john> [blakboot(blakboot@gateway.sektor1.org)] I'm a gay transexual, and I'm
  in the process of finding your home.

<EFudd> comment on mir.. they are unable to bring it down right now due to
  power problems.. Dennis Miller said "Great, these assholes don't even have
  the technology to CRASH the damn thing."

-Xney:$irc.best.net- one of our core routers is being rebooted in 10 minutes,
                     except network outages
-Xney:$irc.best.net- er, expect
-Xney:$irc.best.net- All people making fun of me will be K lined
-Xney:$irc.best.net- you can try to stay on, it'll probably wedge for a few
                     minutes.. it will be back soon after that
-Xney:$irc.best.net- for those of you who are best customers, no, it's not
                     just irc
-Xney:$irc.best.net- If I'm unlucky, the router will burst into flames and
                     I"ll die a horrible death
-Xney:$irc.best.net- If I'm lucky, our customer base will burst into flame and
                     die a horrible death
-Xney:$irc.best.net- And if god really hates me, I'll wake up as a network
                     tech support flunkie
-Xney:$irc.best.net- Oh wait, I am one
-Xney:$irc.best.net- Oh well, here I go to slay the evil router.. but instead
                     of a maiden as a reward, I'll get a beer :(
[yes, this is quoting myself.. but I found it in somebody else's quote
 page and it cracks me up.. sue me]

<rone> CNN headline: "Quick drug use improves heart attack survival chances"
<rone> "Smoke this crack... HURRY!"

*** Signoff: frash (Local kill by MagicMon ((Auto-Kill) links looker))

<XDice> in the event of a tie, breast size wins. :-)

<zoo0oop> i like anything with tit's and a pulse.

<ktm>  /bin/laden

* callas likes a man with a smooth nutsaq

<marcus> hahah. these guys have a dedicated oracle server... an e3500 with 4
  cpus and 4gb of RAM
<marcus> they've had it for 2 years now
<marcus> doing nothing but oracle
<marcus> with oracle configure to use no more than 128MB of ram
<marcus> and recently they've been complaining about performance
<marcus> they thought maybe they needed more memory
<marcus> i was like "uhhh. your dataset is smaller than physical ram"

<thenwhat> did u no that boredom has bedroom as its anagram?

* Xney doesn't reme